RANT ABOUT COMMERCIALS

OKAY,so you see a very annoying commercial.You blow it off.Ten minutes later it comes on again.A little nerve jangles in the back of your brain.At the next break,up it pops again.You feel a tiny tic in your left cheek.

You're not looking forward to the end of the next segment.BEHOLD,the same aggravating people,the piercing voices,the annoying,yet somehow,catchy jingle.Your right eye starts winking involuntarily,in an alternate rhythm to your twitching cheek.

As your show winds down,(some have more frequent breaks than others)you're dreading the next commercial break.A Little voice pipes up from your frontal lobe(perhaps your inner child)."Please,no more.It's so annoying".They have no mercy.You are inundated again,with the same commercial.You notice your hands are trembling.

The show ends.The ads come on.You sit frozen,waiting for the inevitable.Tears sliding down your face,you can't look away.Your brain is screaming,"MAKE IT STOP!"

You have been preconditioned to expect the ad.They have you where they want you.They have just penetrated the barrier around your cerebral cortex.Now it's just a matter of wearing it down,a few sub atomic cells at a time.

Sometimes the next show has the same sponsor and because they don't coordinate the commercials from show to show,they might start with the same commercial,so you have two of the dreaded ads back to back.You feel your bowls loosen and stand in danger of soiling yourself.

At this point,those of us who have a tiny portion of brain still intact,stand up,twitching,winking,trembling,crying. We tighten our sphincter muscles and stiffen our spines and shout,"YOU WILL NOT VIOLATE ME ANY LONGER.YOU WILL NOT BRAIN WASH ME".

Well,honey,that's exactly what they're doing,and your kids too.Christmas is the most dangerous time of year.Manufacturers are rubbing their little hands together,wondering how best to turn your child into an advertisement saturated little zombie.

Be prepared for the avalanche of Christmas advertising,protect your children and be strong.If you find yourself humming that annoying wee jingle slap yourself,or get someone else to do it.