Saturday, January 31, 2009

WTF? PMS reminder

ROFLMAO....earlier this week we made fun of men and the way they behave when life-threatening flu plagues them.
Today we have some advice for men how to handle us women ...or at least a website called http://pmsbuddy.com/:

....If you're tired of female mood swings, and handy on the Interwebs, perhaps there is a website that can help you.With the motto "Saving relationships one month at a time," PMSbuddy.com allows you to set up reminders to let you know when the women in your life are having their time of the month. And ladies -- you can set up alerts to let all your friends know when your bitch level is set to Defcon 1. When Al Gore invented the Internet, this is probably what he had in mind.

Source: http://www.tmz.com/2009/01/31/now-this-is-a-bloody-good-site/

Seriously, people...

Friday, January 30, 2009

Octuplets: New details, a lot of questions and WHERE is Dad?

While more and more details about the mother of the octuplets emerge, people are getting more and more critical .
About the mother and her choices. About the doctors and about WHY an unwed mother of six would undergo a fertility treatment? (In Europe fertility treatments are only available to married couples, with NO children who unsuccesfully tried to conceive the natural way.)
*
....The mother of the octuplets born this week already has six other young children and refused the option of a selective abortion when told she was expecting multiple babies, it has emerged.
Instead the woman, who has not been publicly named, chose to go ahead and give birth, giving her a total haul of 14 children.
Today, as all the babies continued to make good progress in a Los Angeles hospital, it emerged that the mother’s existing six children were under the age of eight, including one set of twins.
The family live with both her and her parents in the well-kept suburb of Whittier, near Los Angeles

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Just Think About It

Global warming occurs 20% faster at the poles.

The REAL Vixen!

We bow our head to Keyser and his infinite wit and wisdom. He succeeded where others before him have failed miserably. He was able to deliver proof while nitwits , resident nutcases and tinkers only gaggle, confabulate and hallucinate. While others came up empty-handed he has found the holy gral - the REAL Vixen.
Girls - Jeannie and CUPCAKE, Monroe et al - we proudly present the REAL VIXEN. Take a look!

(If anyone disagrees: just proof otherwise!)
*
Source:

I want them back!

Another prime example that when it comes to getting even with an ex-partner some people will stop at absolutely nothing:

VICTORVILLE, Calif. -- Prosecutors said a spurned lover ambushed his ex-girlfriend and tried to cut out the breast implants he paid for.
San Bernardino County prosecutor David Foy said 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley attacked his ex-girlfriend in July 2006 outside her mother's home in Hesperia, some 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert.
The 26-year-old woman survived six stab wounds and the punctured breast implants were repaired. Rowley's former roommate Dennis McGill testified this week that the defendant wanted to reclaim what was rightfully his. Rowley allegedly told McGill, "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get em back."
Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.
(source: http://www.10news.com/news/18595556/detail.html)

Whatever happened to: When you give something away, you can't take it back? PEOPLE!!!

Men-Flu!

A few facts every woman ought to know in case her hubby/BF - lo and behold - gets the flu:

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not ‘just a cold’. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a ‘Mild Girly Sniffle’ – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not ‘moan’ when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting ‘lady medicines’ like Lemsip, so don’t bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying ‘Diagnosis Murder’ it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke’s voice has remarkable soothing powers.

Source: http://mitchieville.com/9611/man-flu-the-facts/

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Matching Plaque.

GIL"S NEW PARTNER
LAWYER ONE LINERS
***********************
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand.
*********************************************
What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One's slimy and has whiskers.The other one lives in the water.
*********************************************
Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
No matter what font you select,everything comes out in fine print.
**********************************************
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?Professional courtesy.
***********************************************
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?Cut the rope.
************************************************
How do you save a drowning lawer?Take your foot off his head.
************************************************
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?Shoot him before he hits the water.
************************************************
How do you know a lawyer is lying?His lips are moving.
************************************************
Have you heard about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
It's called Sosumi.
************************************************
How did the lawyer break his nose?The ambulance stopped suddenly.
*************************************************
Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
************************************************
What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?About three pounds,including the urn.
************************************************
A group of terrorists burst into the conference room at the Hilton,where the American Bar Association was holding it's annual convention.More than a hundred lawyers were taken hostage.
The terrorist leader announced that,unless their demands were met,they would release one lawyer every hour.
*************************************************

HA!!


Gil,nothing personal,just hahas.

EIGHT!!!!

One baby is a nice surprise , twins are a blessing but EIGHT babies? Nature or a hormone treatment gone out of hand?

BELLFLOWER, Calif. — Newborn octuplets in Southern California are a feisty bunch that appear healthy even at nine weeks premature, a doctor said Tuesday.Three babies are being given oxygen but appeared to be doing well, said Dr. Mandhir Gupta, a neonatologist at Kaiser Permanente Bellflower Medical Center.
At least four could be ready for their first oral feeding later Tuesday.
"All the babies were delivered vigorously, crying and kicking," he said.
The mother, who has not been identified, gave birth Monday to the six boys and two girls weighing between 1 pound, 8 ounces, and 3 pounds, 4 ounces (0.67 kilograms and 1.47 kilograms). She was resting comfortably Tuesday and was elated at welcoming eight children to her family, Gupta said.....
(http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,483371,00.html)

We can imagine that means a lot of diapers, bottles, sleepless nights.....

ARRRGH!!!TAXES!!!

I have been gathering documents,statements and receipts,to start working on my taxes.The pile on my desk is amazing.It will take me a full day to get through all this stuff and to organize it.Then you have to tabulate, record and add it all up.BITE ME!!!I HATE YOU,CANADIAN REVENUE AGENCY!!!

THANKYOU,I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The horror continues!



(Click on pictures to enlarge!)
*
Oh, Donatella, couldn't you have worn a bikini-top? Do we really have to see this? Woman, you run one of the most renowned fashion labels in the world and then you create one fashion faux-pas after the other?
There is nothing wrong with aging. We ALL do. However, most of us don't run around topless thus creating an image we very well could do without. We sincerely hope that there were no children around when you posed like that. If yes, they might be in despearte need for therapy by now...
*

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Not a FIRST FRIEND

Weren't we ALL EQUAL when history was made on January 20, 2009? By no means! Mariah Carey threw a hissy fit behind the scenes on Inauguration Day. Why? Read and wonder:

...SOME divas cling to their high-maintenance ways even at moments of historic national import. Mariah Carey, who performed at the Neighborhood Ball for President and Michelle Obama, was "furious" when she found out where she'd be seated for the inauguration. A spy said, "Mariah was in the VIP area, where every celebrity, like Jon Bon Jovi, Mary J. Blige, Alicia Keys and Bruce Springsteen, was seated. But somehow she thought she'd be up with the Obama family. When she realized she wasn't, she bailed." .....(http://www.nikkibgoss.com/2009/01/mariah-carey-spoiled-brat.html)

Good to see that some people never lose focus on what really matters. Even on days like this: THEMSELVES.

Penis Developer

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

I'm No Angel


Things are finally getting back to normal,thank goodness.Now I can put all my attention on whats important....
I gave up my post as the president of the Lawyers'Wives Club.It was the best thing to do.A certain lady called me this morning ,wanting me to be on her side.Now,she wanted the other wives to meet her at my house.I was supposed to tell them how it's going to be,because I was the boss's wife.Now that shit was not going to fly.I asked her to call them and arrange it.We would meet on neutral ground.The country club would be fine.They all agreed.Jill was in pre-school,so,my little man and I were on our way.My husband was aware of all the nonsense,but said nothing.I took my partners advice and told him.He said he knew...
The lady in question,wanted to be president of the club,in my place,and wanted one of the other ladies out of the club..Everyone there quit the club when they heard.
She said that they were old women and needed a change.I looked at the fool and told her never...never call my sis old.She would get an oiling down.Sis says she is just like a good wine,better with age.
I told her we will have to meet at social gatherings.We could never be friends,not even associates.She may get her husband fired.The lady she wanted gone is Gil's only
partner's wife,so she better be careful.That was the lady who brought her into the club.She started in on her shortly after she joined....not a very nice person.
That's why I always say,choose your friends carefullyMaybe she didn't start in on me because I have taken a lot of defense classes.I carried her with me,a couple of times,to the gym.....But hey that's just me(GIGGLES) and how was your day?

No foul play?

In finanically hard times like this people save money wherever/whenever they can. However, a man in Clairemont Mesa took it a step too far:

..SAN DIEGO – San Diego police unearthed skeletal remains believed to be of a woman Wednesday in the back yard of a Clairemont Mesa home as part of an adult missing-person's investigation. Police said no foul play is suspected. The Medical Examiner's Office said the remains, found at 4:10 p.m., will be examined Thursday. Police began digging in the yard before noon in the search for the body of an 80-year-old woman who has not been seen for 10 to 15 years, said police Lt. Terry McManus. Police did not release her name. A family friend told police last week that a body was buried in the back yard of a one-story bungalow-type home on Tamres Drive near Brilene Lane. The neighborhood is near Tecolote Canyon Natural Park...(http://www3.signonsandiego.com/stories/2009/jan/21/n93360144422-bn21body/?zIndex=40739)

The latest on this case is that the man will be charged with violating sanitary rules ...people are to be buried in a cementary and nowhere else. So folks, no matter what happens or whatever the reason - don't bury your grandma in the backyard...it can get you in a lot of trouble....

BICHON FRISE


The Bichon is an ancient breed.It can be traced to the thirteen hundreds,but is probably older.Centuries ago,it was a favorite with royalty and aristocracy in France and Italy.Later they were found to be great performers,and were used in fairs and circuses.
Centuries of selective breeding have made the Bichon friendly,playful and affectionate.They are gentle and very good with children.They are not yappy but are excellent watch dogs.The hallmark of the dog is it's cheerful attitude.They are not hyperactive but require a walk every day and they love to play.
They have very soft woolly hair,not coarse like most dogs.They are hypo allergenic and they do not shed,perfect for me with all my allergies.They have big,dark,intelligent eyes,floppy ears and a plume of a tail that curls over their backs.When they are sad,the tail goes straight and droopy.They have to be brushed every few days to avoid matting and should be trimmed every two months.They tend to think they are humans and like to be involved in everything you do.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Wrong answer!

Sometimes the WRONG ANSWER at the WRONG TIME can prevent you from achieving eternal love, peace and harmony...or so. LOL . Obviously, the people who run eHarmony lack sense of humor.

Making a comeback


I could never do the Rubik's Cube either.I just got frustrated with it.
It so happens,that it is becoming popular again.Interesting,in light of all the computer games with a similar theme.

Penises Penises Penises

Ladies,if you have to leave town for a few days and you just don't trust your boyfriend/husband,buy this foolproof, men's penis cage.It can only be opened with a custom Allen wrench,which you carry with you.There is no way he can succumb to temptation.

The top illustration shows how to make a character,from a picture of your guy's penis.Specifically,for those who have way too much time on their hands.

I think it looks a bit like Chris Noth.
Love and best wishes,from the Porn Queen.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Test For Senility

You must answer the questions quickly,without much thought.
***************************************************

1)Tricky arithmetic:Do it in your head,no calculator.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.Now add another 1000.Now add 30.Add another 1000.Now add 20.Now add another 1000.Now add 10.What is the total?

Did you get 5000?Not too bright are you?The answer is actually 4100.Don't believe me?Check it with your calculator.

*************************************************

2)A mute goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.By imitating the action of brushing his teeth,he succesfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is made.

Next,a blind man comes into the shop,who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses.How does he indicate what he wants?

He just asks.He's not mute.

*************************************************

3)Mary's father has five daughters:1-Nana,2-Nene,3-Nini,4-Nono.What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you say Nunu?

Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary.Read the question again.

***************************************************

Well are you senile??????


A boy named Sue

Two parents, a cute kid, and a name that raises a lot of eyebrows. How far can parents go when naming their kids? Can they chose EVERY NAME THEY WANT - i.e. Osama bin Laden. George W. Bush - or are there regulations?
Apparently there are. At least in NJ where authorties didn't find any humor in the choice of a boys name:

...Adolf Hitler - the three year old, that is - is back in the news. According to New Jersey police, the state's Division of Youth and Family Services took Adolf and his two sisters, one-year-old Joyce Lynn Aryan Nation Campbell and 8-month-old Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, from their parents' home Tuesday night.
Little Hilter and his parents got their first fifteen minutes of fame after a New Jersey supermarket refused to put his name on a birthday cake. Little Hitler's incredulous
parents talked to the press about the ordeal in December....

Sorry folks, but WHO would name a child like THAT?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Donald,I Had No Idea!

Courtesy of your friendly neighbourhood Porn Queen...

BEFORE the airbursh....

From D-listed:
*
.....Below are more pictures that will make you want to sleep with the lights on tonight. And if you still haven't had enough, Hard Candy has many more with this came from. Oh and beware, there's a granny nip in one of these pictures. I also added some previews of Vadge with Jesus in W Magazine. Seriously, thank the gods for Photoshop. Thank them indeed..... (http://www.dlisted.com/node/30257)

There is a God after all. Madonna DOES age....

Friendship

the beauty of friendship

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Your friendly neighborhood police force


Baja California police has not a very good reputation. Violence and corruption are just a few things they are accused of. Last week a video of three Federal policemen brutalizing two suspects near the US-border caused a lot of commotion among the locals.
Last weekend we were visiting in Baja - our friend was mad at us. We had been nagging/bitchy just a tad too much and as punishment he didn't pick us up from the coffee-shop.That meant walking back to our appartment at 11.00 pm. Thankfully ,the temperatures had been in the mid-80s during the day. So it was balmy when we started our way home - by foot.
After a five minutes walk through empty streets and lots a Federal police-car stopped next to us.
"¿De donde va?"
Now that was a real problem. We would find the area where our appartment was blindly but we had no idea what the name of the street was.
"Up there, 2 streets to the left". We made handsigns. "Lomas de Aqua or something similiar.."
The two policemen looked at each other. "¿Te queres es?"
"Estados Unidos. De San Diego." We answered.
The two policemen conferred with each other. Then one pointed at the back of the patrol car. "Vai."
Since it was a dark area and nobody was around we did as we were told. One police officer radioed the station for directions to "Up there, 2 streets to the left."
While driving one of them asked for our name. We told him. Huh? He asked again. We told him again. Finally one said: "We'll call you Lady."
We shrugged. "That's okay."
They stopped at an OxxO store. For a newspaper. One asked if we cared for a soda. We did. Believe it or not, after 20 minutes drive they found the right street and the right appartment building from our directions. They waited until we were inside then drove off. We vowed, to write down the street name and the number should we ever be in the same situation again...
¡MUCHAS GRACIAS!

Since the new year began 5 police officers and 30 civilians have been killed by the cartels in Baja California....

A REAL LIVE DICKHEAD


Nineteen year old Calvin Morrett,crashed a highschool graduation,dressed as a six foot penis,shooting silly string.

As you can see,not many people were amused.An auspicious occasion like a graduation means a great deal to the participants.They want to remember the day with pride and a feeling of accomplishment.They don't wish to remember a giant penis jumping onstage.

I feel sorriest for the academians onstage with him.

Calvin was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.He has to publish an apology to the city of Saratoga Springs N.Y. in the newspaper and perform 24 hours of community service.

Save the costume Calvin.You never know when you'll behave like a dickhead again.May as well dress the part.

The Vixen


SOME PRETTY FOXES FOR OUR VIXEN
I LOVE THE PUP IN THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER.
CANADIAN ARCTIC FOX CENTER.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Open Season on Lawyers

Gil's Downtown Office

Mark Twain has been quoted as saying:
"It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late,and lawyers have also;but I repeat myself."
*********************************************
Q:What do you throw a drowning lawyer?
A:His partner.
*********************************************
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were drowning,and you could only save one of them,would you go to lunch,or read the paper?
**********************************************
Q:How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A:"Tell them to say feeees!!"

DO I HEAR A RIM SHOT?PA-DUM-PUM!!

*********************************************
A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates.St Peter greeted them both and gave them their room assignments.
"Pastor,here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency suites.And for you,sir,the keys to our finest penthouse suite."
"That's hardly fair,"said the minister.
"Listen,"St Peter said,"Ministers are a dime a dozen up here,but this is the first lawyer we've ever seen."
*******************************************
A man phones a lawyer and asks,"How much would you charge for answering three simple questions?"
The lawyer replies,"A thousand dollars."
"A thousand dollars!"exclaims the man."Don't you think that's kind of expensive?"
"Hmmm,well,I guess it is,"replied the lawyer.
"What's your third question?"
********************************************
One day,a teacher,a garbage collector and a lawyer entered the pearly gates together.
St Peter seemed very stressed.Apparently heaven was over crowded and he had to cut back on the number of applicants he allowed to enter.
He informed them,there was a test.They had to answer one question.
He asked the teacher,"What was the name of the ship that struck an iceburg and sank?"
The teacher was quick,"The Titanic,right?"
"That's correct.You may enter."
St Peter turned to the garbage man,and decided to ask a more difficult question,so he could turn him away from the gates.
"How many people died on that ship?"he asked.
"I believe it was 1,228,"said the garbage man.
St Peter was surprised."Correct,you may enter,"he said.
He turned to the lawyer and said"What were their names?"

****************************
HA!!!!

Gil,I kid,I kid.


Call 1-800-Horny Hunks

If you're feeling kind of down,
Because your man is out of town,
Just email or give a call.
Have just one,or have us all.
We know our stuff.
We'll make your day.
Hope to hear from you Jean'ne.

Score 'one' for the Porn queen.



Quote of the month!

Oh my! Whom to rely on when you need a good healthy belly-laugh?
PARIS HILTON !!!

...The socialite and hotel heiress, 27, believes she and the Tomb Raider star are quite alike, and would probably get on well together.
"...I love Angelina Jolie. She's strong but gorgeous and uses her fame for good to make a big difference in the world. That's a great quality. I'd have a lot in common with her." (http://www.showbizspy.com/paris-hilton-i-have-a-lot-in-common-with-angelina-jolie-20090118)

Ahem, yes....Oh, sweet cheeks, you are not even close......
But you could publish a book titled " My most stupid comments" LOL.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Show me the Money

Would you believe,Nike is paying Tiger Woods ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS to endorse their products?Do you think they are getting their money's worth?
Just what does he do for that hefty paycheck?I've seen his commercials.He barely says a half dozen words.In some ads he says nothing.Basically,all he is doing is lending his face to the company for a contracted amount of time.
So,yes,he had better smile that way.That face belongs to Nike.

Hard job,but times are tough all over Tiger.

By the way,he endorse products for eleven other companies.The mind boggles.

Partners in Crime

Here we are girls,the wicked threesome."Take no prisoners!"

Bring me some water!

WHO (or what) is THIS?
* A hobo
* Yeti
* Joaquin Phoenix

We can't decide which is worse- the front view of or the back view. When he took off his knit cap it became evident that his matted and unwashed hair is forming dreadlocks. Maybe he quit acting to become a musician because he figured rockstars don't have to bathe. Anyway, we're sure his female fans were jolted to see him looking like this when he performed at LAVO at The Palazzo in Las Vegas. Rumor has it he's planning to record with the British band The Charlatans.
(Source: http://janetcharltonshollywood.com/gossip/joaquin_phoenix/joaquin_phoenix_needs_a_bath_20090117.php)

What happened to the good looking actor we saw on "Gladiator" and "Walk the line"? Is it just us, or do we suddenly feel the need to scratch? YUCK!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

FROM HUNKS TO CHUNKS

All of these leading men(with the exeception of Kevin Federline who's a leading couch potato)have let themselves get out of shape.Perhaps they didn't notice.Someone should have pointed it out to them.We have enough character actors.
In the case of Mickey Roarke,not only his body,but his face,morphed completely into someone/something else.
Brendon Fraser went from handsome to beefy faced and pot bellied.
Our gladiator is pudgy.Mr.Big is really,really big.And 'The Saint' has a big round belly,like a bowl full of jelly.

Gentlemen,in case you didn't know,you're bulging in all the wrong places,YUCK.
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Wish You Were Here

I am having a ball ,just my babies and me,a lot of play
time,no cooking/cleaning,just laying back and watching the rain,about 60 degrees,I know Jeannie,you are saying lucky girl not to be knee deep in snow.
I seen a lot of people I met when I was working,one lady I was quite fond of,asked what I had been up to ,I gave a sweet smile and push Jill/Gilly at her,she said my god girl you have been busy,She said she ask about me when she come,my co-workers told her I was married and had a little girl.
Lona asked what I was doing now,just making friends on the web,I told her I met two real nice ladies,one which was from Canada....she is an artist,a very good one ,she should visit our blog and check out some of her work,she was also from Canada.Lona said if you had a Gallery showing,she is very sure she has heard of you,I told her I would ask,I know for a fact there are a lot of talent in your family......(ARTISTS/MATHEMATICANS/WRITERS)maybe a future(FILM PRODUCER),I have so much to catch up on.How is Brian/Mom,I know Brian is still walking a step behind,tell I know what he's thinking.(GIGGLES)I will be here until Sunday/Monday don't know,My man will be here some time tomorrow,I am going to dinner now ,will be back shortly.

Material girl

MADONNA naked?
MADONNA in explicit poses?
Yawn. Been there done that. However, some fans are willing to pay RIDICULOUS SUMS to get their hands on a MADONNA (PORN) NUDE SHOT:

....A nude photo of Madonna, taken before erotic songs and risque costumes catapulted her to superstardom, is expected to sell for at least $10,000, Christie's auction house says.Madonna, then known as Madonna Louise Ciccone, may have earned as little as $25 for the 1979 modeling session.
The raw, full frontal black-and-white image, taken by Lee Friedlander, appeared in Playboy in 1985 and is to be auctioned Feb. 12. Madonna was a 20-year-old dancer trying to make ends meet when she answered Friedlander's newspaper ad seeking a nude model, said Matthieu Humery, head of Christie's photography department.Humery said this week that six photos from the shoot were sold to Playboy and the one up for auction is "maybe the most explicit one." ....

Note the difference: MADONNA got $ 25 for the picture. The photographer most likely will get $ 10.000...unfair world...Huh?

possible logos for Partners in Crime Inc

I think I still prefer the original,although there are one or two I like.
Trying to find a nice robin's egg blue one.I like doing this stuff.

Friday, January 16, 2009

PORN QUEEN STRIKES AGAIN

A beautiful,voluptuous woman goes to see a gynaeclogist.The doctor takes one look at this woman and forgets his professionalism.Right away,he tells her to undress.After she has disrobed,he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he strokes,he asks her,"Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes,"she says,"you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"Correct,"says the doctor.

He begins to fondle her breasts."Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes,"says the woman,"You're checking for any lumps that could be malignant."

"That's right,"replies the doctor.He gradually and gently proceeds to have sexual intercourse with her."Do you know,"he pants,"what I'm doing now?"

"Yes,"she says,"You're getting herpes."

Por Cupcake....


Sus dos socios en el crimen, y hellhounds JEANNIE Vixen ...
Your two partners in crime, hellhounds JEANNIE and VIXEN...

Tinkerbell aka Crazy Lacy : WHAT A FOOL!!!

As usual, Tinkerbell aka Crazy Lacy made a complete fool of herself with one of her highly delusional rants.
What happened?
OK. Yesterday we found the following little ancedote by ThomG. on the Internet:
*
ThomG on January 15 at 8:17 a.m.
I have a hard time taking seriously anything David Caruso appears in. We were classmates in High School, in Mr Egan's American History class. Dave was the class clown although I vied with him for the title. Every time I see him on television or in a movie, I picture the guy who did his only homework assignment of the year meticulously printed on a roll of Charmin, because Mr. Egan had told him that his work in the class was “Shlt”....
http://www.spokesman.com/blogs/hbo/2009/jan/14/grissom-depart-csi/
*
We copied and pasted it to use it on our blog. In the meantime, the owner of the blog decided to write an article about it. He posted it TODAY. We decided to stick to the original post/comment.
Now crazy tinkerbell aka lacy - probably during one of her bipolar unmedicated spells - had nothing better to do than SLAM our article. Accusing US of lying . However, the bipolar one didn't check the facts first - which is always a mistake. As everyone with a bit of a brain clearly can see our post is a copy of ThomG's original post.

OUCH. OUCH. OUCH.

Our advice for tinkerbell aka crazy lacy: Take your meds sweetheart and stay away from the computer before you hurt yourself. The TRUTH? The truth is that Tinkerbell aka crazy lacy just made a COMPLETE FOOL of herself....LOL!!!!!

Girls of the Playboy Mansion

Seriously ladies, haven't we ALL dreamed about being one of Hugh Heffner's Playboy bunnies now and then? Haven't we all fantasized of having sex with the 85-year-old newspaper magnate? And aren't we all sad that those racy dreams never came true?
Don't fret. Looks like life in the Playboy Mansion is not all sex, drugs and rock'n' roll if Kendra Wilson, ex-girl of the Playboy Mansion, is to be believed:

..Life at the Playboy Mansion wasn't always a party, according to Kendra Wilkinson. As for sex ... well, she got it elsewhere.
"I had to have sex every now and then, so I had to kind of sneak it,"
Hugh Hefner's 23-year-old ex tells Us Weekly.
The buxom blonde says "of course" she and the
Playboy founder were intimate, but notes she often only saw him once a day - in passing.
"Besides the nights we went out, I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates," she said. Bridget told me that she's been faithful all these years, and I was like, 'How the hell can you do that?' I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age,like a healthy human being."...

Ouch! Looks like we have to search for another old dirtbag we can fantasize about....sigh....

AHH...NATURE

You can't beat Mother Nature's sense of humor.
Left:A natural monument to mankind.
Top Right:They really do grow on trees.
Lower Right:A natural valley.
Compliments of your friendly neighbourhood
Porn Queen

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Good Girl Mikela

Hawaii is well known for it's beautiful beaches and sparkling water,but the islands got just a bit lovelier,thanks to the honesty of 11 year old Mikela Mercier.
Mikela found the ultimate bargain at a Salvation Army
Thrift Shop on the Big Island of Hawaii .She picked up an old copy of a Richard Simmons workout videotape,opened the case and discovered,wedged in with "Sweatin to the Oldies",$1000 in $100 bills.
Mikela showed her mother the cash and said they needed to notify the store.The proud mom said her daughter knew the money rightfully belonged to the Salvation Army and that it would go to help people who really needed it.
Somewhere,Richard Simmons is welling up.

Things You Wish hadn't Happened Last Year

Well,it's a brand new new year.You can put aside all those embarassing moments of last year and move on.But,now and then,you have to wish,they had never happened at all.
*A lady forgot to set the parking brake on her brand new car.So,you see,a convertible does not keep water out.
*An avid fan handcuffed herself to Hugh Grant in Amsterdam at a premiere.The police had to be called get the cuffs off.They took their time,and Hugh was pretty peeved and embarassed.
*The highly publicized meltdown of David Hasselhoff.
*We've always wanted to know what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.Maybe one of those kids will talk.The poor man couldn't stop playing his bagpipes,to tell them to go away.
*A tennis player at a prestigious tournament loses her knickers.
*President Bush did not know the cameras were rolling.He was trying to be funny.NOT!

Free swinging...

We like Arnold Schwarzenegger. We really do. When he first arrived at Venice Beach, California, he had only 20 bucks in his pocket and a head full of dreams. Now thirty years later , he is the Governor of Cah-lee-for-nee-ah.
Way to go, Arnold....
Uhm....just one thing...would you please put on some UNDERWEAR next time you step out? We ALL know you are one big boy. But there is really no need to visualize it....LOL