Friday, January 23, 2009

Penises Penises Penises

Ladies,if you have to leave town for a few days and you just don't trust your boyfriend/husband,buy this foolproof, men's penis cage.It can only be opened with a custom Allen wrench,which you carry with you.There is no way he can succumb to temptation.

The top illustration shows how to make a character,from a picture of your guy's penis.Specifically,for those who have way too much time on their hands.

I think it looks a bit like Chris Noth.
Love and best wishes,from the Porn Queen.

84 comments:

  1. I knew it would be good! Jeannie, you have outdone yourself again. You are right, this dick looks like Chris NOTH. LOL

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  2. Amina should buy one.The only guarantee that Dave would be faithful.

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  3. You are right. However, I think somehow Caruso would do the nasty despite this thing oin his Willy.
    There is no way to guarantee fathfulness - not in Caruso's case. LOL

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  4. Anonymous7:44:00 PM

    Great job Jeannie.
    Maybe that's the reasson Chris Noth left Law and Order,he became too big of a dickhead.hahahaha

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  5. Whenever I see Chris Noth I will see that picture,and think of him as a dick head.
    Poor Chris.

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  6. He is not a bad actor. But I hated him as Mr. Big.

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  7. He was fairly good on Law and Order.Not strictly a handsome guy.

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  8. Anonymous8:23:00 PM

    NE quoted him as saying new baby,the movie S/C no sleep.He was stressed out,had other commitments,he played a character in Cold around the hwart with Dave and Kelly Lynch.

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  9. Oh, I remember. Jeff Goldbloom is his sucessor. I don't like him too much.

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  10. I haven 't finished with the subject of penises.I have some more material.Perhaps I'll make it a series.

    Hi Nee !Choochie happy today???

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  11. Anonymous8:32:00 PM

    Yes it;s happy,I like your idea of a series,I am a happy camper,just have to dump some of this shit I am carrying.

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  12. Brian's feeling pretty chipper.
    Cracking jokes and feeling much better.That makes me happy.

    The twins called us.They were amazed they could take their parkas off and go around in tee shirts.The temp is going up in Florida.Even if it only gets to the sixties,they'll think it's a tropical paradise.

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  13. What shit are you carrying?

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  14. Jeannie, they are Canadians, Everything south of New York must be tropical for you folks up there.

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  15. You're probably right Vix.They forgot what the colour green looks like.they come from a white planet.

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  16. You're probably right Vix.They forgot what the colour green looks like.they come from a white planet.

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  17. NEE!What shit are you carrying.OMG,
    you're not pregnant again are you?

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  18. Anonymous8:40:00 PM

    I am so happy to here Brian is feeling better,tell him to keep it up,the twins are very happy good for them....it is to long to tell here,I will make a post tomorrow,I think one club member has fallen by the wayside.

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  19. Once thy have enjoyed the warmth in Florida I doubt they will want to get back to Canada...

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  20. Anonymous8:42:00 PM

    Jeannie/Vix...I can not stand 2faced people,this woman we have here I will have to leave the lawyers club..it's me or her

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  21. I wanted to know how your meeting about the float went.

    You lost one of the lawyer's wives?
    Sounds interesting. By all means make a post.

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  22. Anonymous8:46:00 PM

    She has done nothing to me,yet..if she do her friend that way,I don't need to be around her,her husband works for Gil.

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  23. Honey,the world is full of two faced people.More of them than us.

    I was so naive,most of my life,but now I recognize them.I know who I'm dealing with .I keep quiet,so they think they fool me,but I recognize deception when I see it.

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  24. Lawyers are highly competitive people, methinks. Especially the female ones which have to prove themselves against the guys daily.
    Maybe thats her way to survive among all the sharks out there.

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  25. Anonymous8:50:00 PM

    Everything when well,Parties everywhere...and no I am not pregnant(giggles)I can just hear Vix saying (WTF)

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  26. Are the wives snobby or nice??

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  27. BRian is standing here naked,watching me type.

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  28. I never thought you were. Would have been a bit early since your boy is only 3 months..

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  29. Anonymous8:54:00 PM

    Vix she is not a lawyer...Gil hired her husband about 6/7 mos. ago,I will not say anything to him,you both will see and give me advice.

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  30. Be nice and friendly. Don't let on that you know. That will catch them off-guard. If they know you know they'll get defensive and it can get messy. Not a good thing.

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  31. Anonymous8:58:00 PM

    You know what Brian wants,give it up.
    They are nice ladies...older than I ...she is about 36 or so,I told her that her character was in question..no problems in 5 years until now.

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  32. HE came into my office to ask a question,buck naked,and stayed to read what I was typing.I told him I would tell you.He didn't believe me.
    Don't ever dare me to do something.

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  33. She is a lawyers wife...I am sure she is used to use her "claws". Just be friendly and smile. That is the only way you can deal with this people. If you cross her she won't take it lightely and I am sure you don't want to be on the receiving end...

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  34. Anonymous9:02:00 PM

    I understand what you are saying Vix,the rest of them wants her gone...I am going to let it be their problem........

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  35. Naked in winter in Canada? The man has no shame. LOL

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  36. If all you ladies want her out,do you take a vote?

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  37. Right Cupcake. If they want her to be gone they should see to it. Thus they can deal with the consequences - the good and the bad ones. People like her won't go without a fight. They have much too much to lose.

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  38. Anonymous9:05:00 PM

    Hey Vix...my man likes to go naked,but not anymore,we have a peeper...

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  39. CC- you live in Lousiana. Jeannie is living next to polar bears..some parts might freeze and die up there.

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  40. Anonymous9:09:00 PM

    Vix/Jeannie I have fell behind a lot...the wives want me to tell Gil,no way ..I am not going to tell him,they can tell their husbands....

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  41. Yes Nee,all those years we had to stayed modestly covered because of the children.Now they are all gone except for Justin,on and off.
    Now we can wander around just the way God made us.A bit too cold right now for that.Brian was just on his way to the shower.

    If it is unanimous and all the others want her gone,I think she'll get the message.

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  42. Just stay out of it. Don't let them use you.

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  43. Anonymous9:12:00 PM

    Jeannie ..I started the club..let them vote,I would rather be here worrying the shit out of Vix.hahaha

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  44. She may get the message Jeannie, but she may not give up. Those people know how "to fight" and are superb players. Shemay even turn the others against each other. An easy task if you know how.

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  45. It's a shame,one person can spoil a nice thing for others.It will probably sort itself out.She will become aware that she is no longer welcome(unless she's a total idiot)

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  46. Anonymous9:20:00 PM

    Well thats 4 people that I can respect what they are saying.
    Jeannie....Vix....Sis...Gil...
    Jeannie brian wants you to shower with him.

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  47. She must be fairly clever,in a sly way,if she can turn one against the other."DIVIDE AND CONQUER"
    A famous quote,and it usually proves to be true.

    How important is it to you?

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  48. Jeannie and Brian - the shameless elderly couple - LOl

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  49. We tried that shower thing.I slipped on soap and bashed my head.
    That took the fun out of it .Also tried it in the tub.Brian nearly drowned me.

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  50. Watch your language,Vix.ELDERLY?
    I think not,just experienced.

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  51. Anonymous9:30:00 PM

    She is angry because her husband's salary hads a freeze,hell we don't work for Gil,we have no control over what he do,I wouldn't work for his ass ...timrs is hard everywhere,lucky he has a job,with her attitude,he will never go far.It takes awhie to make partner...you have to have a following...that he don't have.

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  52. Ops. I meant wise and experienced...but you get my drift..LOL

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  53. Anonymous9:33:00 PM

    not important to me at all,the others can find something todo they range in age 55/60

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  54. Everyone is freezing salaries.It's better than losing your bread and butter.
    Things will pick up again.You just need a little patience.

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  55. Anonymous9:35:00 PM

    Careful Vix...see I am not the only horny one here.hahahaha

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  56. Anonymous9:36:00 PM

    Brain don;t care as long as it get in,way to go Brian..hahahaha

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  57. Girls, girl, girls. What about other hobbies - like knitting or patchwork..

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  58. Then there was that time in the woods on the Bruce Trail,up against a tree.Something bit my ass.

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  59. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  60. Anonymous9:42:00 PM

    Jeannie I am through/finish...I stay..my ass will get in trouble..bad ..real bad...I have my babies to think about,that's the only thing thats savied her arse.

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  61. HA! Vix,You're a riot.I tried needle point.I didn't have the patience.It was a big knotted mess.I threw it in the garbage... after it hit the wall.

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  62. Anonymous9:46:00 PM

    Brian the ever-ready man...I bet Brian wanted to boink you when he first met you...look out Jeannie he's feeling mighty chipper...
    ga Brian go

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  63. You know you will not be able to keep your mouth shut forever.It will all come bubbling out,the first time you lose that Creole temper with her.

    Come clean with Gil. He will give you the best advice.You have to be politically correct in this situation.

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  64. I know Jeannie. Believe it or not, I am actually pretty good at needle point. Years ago, before I got myself a lappy...

    On a different note: whatever you do NEVER bury grandma in the backyard!

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  65. Brian did want to boink me the first time he met me.And ,on our first date,he tried.He did not succeed however.I am not,nor will I ever be,a cheap bimbo.I waited till our fifth date.Then I fucked his brains out...HA!

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  66. Anonymous9:52:00 PM

    Jeannie---keep us balance...
    Vixen-----the enforcer...
    Cupcake---the horny one...
    VIX..don't you think I should add horny to Jeannie...(GIGGLES)

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  67. Did you bury your grandma in the backyard,Vix?Did you give her a nice needle-point shroud?

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  68. Anonymous10:03:00 PM

    You are right...she should be one of Dave's women,dumb/stupid...I am down to earth,same as every one,the heifer didn't finish high school.

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  69. CUPCAKE....YUP Jeannie is a VERY horny one. Her Dave caricatures are legendary...LOL
    Jeannie - I decided that I won't tell . I'll write an article tomorrow...LOL

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  70. Well,Vix,now i'm so curious,I can't stand it.

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  71. Anonymous10:11:00 PM

    See Vix we have some wonderful times ahead of us...
    Our Jrannie is still going strong..

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  72. CC: she didn't finish high-school . However, she seems to be street-smart. Such people are not to be underestimated.

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  73. Anonymous10:15:00 PM

    I will give you time Vix...going to the market..be at your house eary..the way it was..putting everything in order....

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  74. Get some rest sweetie.I'm sorry we nightowls keep you up late.

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  75. By the way,Vix is right.Don't underestimate your enemy.she sounds like a sly one.

    Gil will back you up.Tell you how to handle it diplomatically.

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  76. I am currently watching "Wifeswap" - between a very organized and strict family in Texas and a rasta-fari family in Florida.
    I feel like siding with the Texans. The lazy rastafarian/bob marley wannabe is getting on my nerves.

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  77. Anonymous10:26:00 PM

    She is not street wise,just a dumb fuck,if she was street wise she would have more sense...she just joined the first of the year,she's also angry,We needed a name for our float..put the names in a jar and they pulled...Doris pull the shark....Maureen pull Partners in crime,I was not there,they decided on partners in crime,we had a lot of names.she wanted hers,whatever that was...she told them it was a stupid name,sweetie I held my tongue....I had no Idea ours was going to be picked..it fits the club.

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  78. Anonymous10:34:00 PM

    Jeannie/Vix I am finish with the whole mess, I think he know...I let all this crap go ...I can get something done.

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  79. Vix,that Texas family sounds like they're related to you.

    'Partners in Crime',is a brilliant idea,and it does fit the Lawyers Wives Club.

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  80. Anonymous10:36:00 PM

    I am going to say good nite...drop by Vix house to see what she's been up to,then going to bed.

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  81. See you over there,Nee

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  82. Good night, Cupcake.Sleep over it. Tomorrow you will see things clearer.

    I'd take the Texan military freak and his insane rules any day over the Bob Marley double who sits at home the whole day whistling merry reggae tuns and who takes the last 5 bucks to get himself some beer..

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