Mark Twain has been quoted as saying:"It is interesting to note that criminals have multiplied of late,and lawyers have also;but I repeat myself."
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Q:What do you throw a drowning lawyer?
A:His partner.
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If a lawyer and an IRS agent were drowning,and you could only save one of them,would you go to lunch,or read the paper?
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Q:How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A:"Tell them to say feeees!!"
DO I HEAR A RIM SHOT?PA-DUM-PUM!!
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A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates.St Peter greeted them both and gave them their room assignments.
"Pastor,here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency suites.And for you,sir,the keys to our finest penthouse suite."
"That's hardly fair,"said the minister.
"Listen,"St Peter said,"Ministers are a dime a dozen up here,but this is the first lawyer we've ever seen."
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A man phones a lawyer and asks,"How much would you charge for answering three simple questions?"
The lawyer replies,"A thousand dollars."
"A thousand dollars!"exclaims the man."Don't you think that's kind of expensive?"
"Hmmm,well,I guess it is,"replied the lawyer.
"What's your third question?"
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One day,a teacher,a garbage collector and a lawyer entered the pearly gates together.
St Peter seemed very stressed.Apparently heaven was over crowded and he had to cut back on the number of applicants he allowed to enter.
He informed them,there was a test.They had to answer one question.
He asked the teacher,"What was the name of the ship that struck an iceburg and sank?"
The teacher was quick,"The Titanic,right?"
"That's correct.You may enter."
St Peter turned to the garbage man,and decided to ask a more difficult question,so he could turn him away from the gates.
"How many people died on that ship?"he asked.
"I believe it was 1,228,"said the garbage man.
St Peter was surprised."Correct,you may enter,"he said.
He turned to the lawyer and said"What were their names?"
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HA!!!!
Gil,I kid,I kid.
Jeannie..you hit the nail on the head,a good lawyer is like a shark out of water...as you know the buck comes first,I showed it to my man he likes it a lot...he wants to know if he can quote you and have it framed for his office.(giggles)
ReplyDeleteWow,what a busy couple of days.I don't think I've sat down for more than ten minutes in three days.
ReplyDeleteI will have to schedule events,activities and appointments a lot better.They pile up on me.
Another thing I need Vix to organize for me.
I know the feeling,it's busy here also jumping in/out...I am on the Mardi Gras commmittee,lots of fun,I will have to choose which ones I want to serve on.
ReplyDeleteWell we both are out going and likes doing things.
ReplyDeleteWow,that sounds like fun.Will you be in the parade?
ReplyDeleteI don't do much any more,so I let my organizational skills slide.
ReplyDeleteAlot of time is taken up,taking my mom to her various hospital appointments and a raft of doctors.She has so many ailments.But, she is a tough old bird,she still lives.I hope I inherit her strength.
Yes
ReplyDeletewe have a float,"THE FIVE LAWYER"S WIVES CLUB...it's a lot of fun,but I think I will have to give some of my projects up...I will see.
You have inherited her strengh...just think what a wonderful life you have,you are always busy,I can't stand to be indoors all times,I am a person on the go.
ReplyDeleteTHAt's going to take a lot of your time.But,what a lot of fun.Boy would I love to help you design it.I've designed so many things over the years but never a float.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could use the shark idea.
ReplyDeleteEveryone would think that was hilarious.
Thank's for the Idea,will put it before them,not as much time as before Gilly,Jill could keep up,Gilly just hang on..hahaha
ReplyDeleteGilly knows whats good for him.Watch this guy.He's going to get sharp teeth.OUCH!
ReplyDeleteYou know,I don't mean to pick on Gil,But I love jokes and there are more doctor and lawyer jokes than anything else.
ReplyDeleteTime flys...Gilly will be 4 mos,feb.6th..hold down the fort ..see you a little later....He might get weaned early,then I will have one with a mouth full of teeth..hahahaha
ReplyDeleteJeannie ..Gil is gone to have it made into a picture...like "A PLEA TO GIL" to put in his office.
ReplyDelete