Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Friends


Reincarnation-Believable?-Or Just an Interesting Concept?

When the body dies,it gives up it's energy.It's a scientific fact that,although energy can be converted to another form,it cannot be created or destroyed.So,where does it go?Does it dissipate into the atmosphere?Does it have a kind of consciousness or imprints of memories?Does it convert to some other form of energy?I'm just asking...
Have you lived before?The concept of reincarnation-that our souls may experience many lifetimes,over centuries,maybe even thousands of years,has been present in virtually every culture since ancient times.The Egyptians,Greeks,Romans and Aztecs,all believed in the transmigration of souls from one body to another,after death.
The word reincarnation comes from two Latin words :re=to repeat,and carnis=flesh.Although reincarnation is not a part of official Christian doctrine,many Christians believe in it or at least accept it's a possibility.That's not surprising.The idea,that after death we can live again as another person of either sex and any station in life is intriguing and appealing.And,after all,there are oblique references to it in the bible .For example,Jesus refers to John the Baptist as having been Elijah.If you read these verses you'll see,it's hard to interpret it any other way.We want to believe there is a continuity to our existence.Life is so brief,we barely get started before we're done.
Are there any hard facts to support it,any compelling evidence?Past life regression hypnosis has revealed some fascinating stories.The most famous of which is that of Ruth Simmons.In 1952,her therapist took her back before the point of her birth.Suddenly,Ruth began speaking with an Irish accent and claimed her name was Bridey Murphy,who lived in nineteenth century Belfast,Ireland.Ruth recalled a wealth of details of her life as Bridey,however it was hard to establish if she had existed or not.However some of the people she mentioned living with and working with were proven to have existed during that period.The names were accurate and even the vocations of these people proved accurate.A book and a movie followed,called'The Search For Bridey Murphy'.
There is much anecdotal evidence of children,who,as soon as they learn to speak,are able to tell remarkably detailed stories of people and places they couldn't possibly have seen and events they couldn't possibly have been present at.Some children have been reported as speaking in foreign languages as young as eighteen months old.
Have you ever had deja vu,a strong feeling that you have been in a certain place or house before,or done or said something in exactly the same way before?Maybe you have.Perhaps that's why history repeats itself.The same souls keep coming back and repeating the same things and making the same mistakes over and over.Anything is possible.

Monday, March 30, 2009

My "Family" What A Hoot


Well I returned home late yesterday evening,we spent the weekend with my Sis (Joanna) she still live in the house my daddy built for us after leaving N.O.,La. it's a large house with five (5) bdrms/three(3) bathrooms,I had a lot of fun there ,it will always be home...but that's not what I want to tell you today...first let me tell you who lives there...Sis...her daughter Nan/hubby James and grand-daughter Betty Jo...that leaves two(2) bdrms,my father-in-law lives with my brood...he is a great old man ,very devilish,always telling sis he wants to poke her...sis went over to some friends house,when she returned, she said she was tired and going to bed,o.k. you say...well that's not the way sis saw it....dad was waiting in her bed ,(GIGGLES) the old fool went to sleep...hahaha...Sis told Gil she was going to fix him good,we had no idea what she was going to do,she is quite mischievous in her own right,Sis slept in the other bedroom...we was all having breakfast....dad ask Sis where did she go? Now this is the kicker...Sis said Gil I have something to tell all of you,it's will affect all of us....she looked at dad ...smiled...told us she was pregnant for dad....everyone sitting there looking bug-eyed and stupid...hahaha dad almost swallow his dentures...Sis said there was not going to be any pre-nuptial shit....sis told dad the condoms he had,she poke holes in them.....Sis is sixty-three(63)when dad found his voice he said that's the first piece he ever had and he don't remember it.....Sis told him come back to bed and they will have another go at it....dad says it must have been good to her ,she wants some more....Sis asked Gil what he wanted,my crazy man said this may be his last chance to have sibling, he wanted two(2) of each,Sis told him he was as crazy as his dad...when we returned home ...dad said if we have to leave again,he was going to the hotel...dad asked Gil,did he have to marry sis,since he don't remember getting it.....Dad is seventy-nine(79) years old....I told you I had a crazy /horny family...I will be doing the nasty well into my hundreds.(GIGGLES)

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Fight Back...Don't Give In to Wrinkles...You Can Beat 'Em

Do you sometimes feel your wrinkles creeping up on you,feel them crawling up your neck ,slithering under you chin,trying to climb up your face?Don't just sit there and age in silent resentment or helpless acceptance.Fight back.Help is at hand,and it won't cost you an arm and a leg.I have remedies for wrinkles from all over the world,and the ingredients can be acquired from your local supermarket or health store.

As we age we lose elasticity and moisture from the skin and fine lines start to appear.Those fine lines soon become crevices and craters big enough to lose someone in and it can start younger than you think.

The most obvious things to do are ;stop smoking and drinking,very destructive to the skin.Then,you must make sure your skin is getting the right nutrition on the inside.B complex vitamins,found in beef,eggs,chicken and wheat nourish the skin.Antioxidants like vitamins A,C and E give the skin a healthy look.The Omega 3 oils help also.For a healthy glow,a tablespoon of shredded ginger in honey is said to work.Lots of rest is essential to good skin.(getting your beauty sleep really works.)

There are a lot of things you can do to the outside of your skin also.I can't guarantee them all,but the people who contributed them,swear by them.
1) A quick fix and a secret of the stars:Phillip's plain milk of magnesia,spread on the face and neck before bed and leave on all night.
2) A tried and tested concoction:mix one part lime juice to two parts glycerin and two parts rosewater-apply to face and neck and leave overnight.
3) Want softer skin?-mix two tablespoons of powdered milk with one tablespoon of honey and a little water into a paste and smear on liberally.Let set for ten minutes and rinse.
4) The contributor of this remedy claims it's very effective.Mash half a banana with half a teaspoon of flour, half a teaspoon of powdered milk and a few drops of honey.Spread it all over your face and leave for twenty minutes.Use once a week.
5) For a fruit acid astringent to tighten pores and exfoliate dead skin cells,rub face with the core of a pineapple.
6) Mix avocado pulp with grapeseed oil.Apply thickly to face,leave on for half an hour.Rinse and don't worry,your face won't stay green.
7) I don't know about this one,but here goes.-Simmer half a cup of rosemary leaves in two cups of water for 30 minutes,add half a cup of brandy,let stand for 10-15 minutes,strain and wipe skin twice a day with mixture.
8) A mixture of honey,olive oil and pure cream applied liberally as a night cream really helps.
9) For circles under the eyes,mix tumeric powder and sugar cane to form a paste and apply.Also put spoons in the freezer for a few minnutes and apply the backs of the bowls directly to your eyes or the swelling under them.
10) Liberal application of a mixture of the juice of green pineapple and green apples left on overnight is believed to tighten the skin.
11) I'm not too sure of this one but I'll throw it in the pot with the rest.-mix honey and baking soda into a paste and apply.They suggest leaving it on all night but I wouldn't.The baking soda might make your skin sore .Try it for an hour and see what you think.
12)Cucumbers really are great for your skin(not an old wives' tale.)Put cucumber through the blender,then press the pulp through a sieve.Spread the residue on your skin.It is safe around the eyes too.
Remember,you're a beautiful woman and you owe it to yourself to be at your best.I'll search for some natural hair treatments and get back to you.
Your fellow wrinkle fighter and friend... Jeannie

"Hurry Sunshine"


I'm back,been in the dumps with all the tornadoes,storms and the rising water in the "RED RIVER",the water is coming down stream,not sure when it will crest...here I am feeling sorry for myself,I realize just how fortunate I am....we take to many things for granted,when we should be thankful for the things we have...a lot of people have loss a great deal in this economy crisis slump,there are better times ahead,we will get through it.
Have you ever just sit quietly ,thought about some of the bad times you had? If not,think about it,you are much better off now,you have to have faith and work for what's better for you and yours....you have to have the understanding that it's not just money/materials things that matter,(but they do help),just open your heart and let the goodness flow in,there are going to be good times and bad,I guarantee you the good will out-weigh the bad...you can not expect to take all the time,you have to give also....you will realize that making others happy if they deserve it ,will also make you feel good /happy...it is a great feeling....I smiled at a lady once in the mall ,she just turn her head.....I didn't get angry at her...I really felt sorry for her...you see I am a good and funny person to know...I have a great sense of humor.....my man says you never know what to expect from me no telling what I will do or say,that much he has learned in the years we have been together,he would have it no other way,(GIGGLES)hopefully I will be going to visit a lady I had forgotten from chhildhood....maybe she can help me to remember some of the things I forgot about my childhood....I have so many memories that is coming back to me....I will keep you updated...So stay tuned: but hey it's just me......

Friday, March 27, 2009

I Thought That I Could Love No Other...That Is Until I Met Your Brother.

The Washington Post sponsored a contest,asking for a two line rhyme,with the most romantic first line,and the least romantic second line.These are some of the entries.
1) My Darling,my lover,my beautiful wife,
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2) I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3) Kind,intelligent,loving and hot;
This describes all that you're not.

4) Love may be beautiful,love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

5) Roses are red,violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilted,the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

6) I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take the paper bag off your face.

7) I love your face,your smile and your eyes,
Damn,I'm good at telling lies.

8) My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

9) My feelings for you,no words can tell,
Except for maybe,'Go to Hell !'

10) What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka,one part lime.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

They're Just Such Easy Targets




God Help Me It's Nana!

What would we do without Nana?

"Reflection" Just Me Nee


Everyone needs to go home every now and then.To go home means there is something waiting for you:Love of your family.To go home means having your favorite meal,cooked and waiting,it means lively conversation,laughter,some oldies but goodies playing in the background.Home is sitting back in an overstuffed chair,wrapped in a ragged blanket,watching reruns on TV.Home is a hot bubble bath and a fresh smelling bed,home is cuddling up next to your man,resting your head in his arms....telling him all your troubles and fears while he gently strokes your cheeks....
These last few days I have been reflecting back on my life,I realize I have only scratch the surface...I remember so many things that I had forgotten...it feels good to visit your past sometime....there is joy/happiness/sadness...I realize there was more joy and happiness to reflect back on.
So every time there is a dark cloud,go to your quiet and special place...wait,because there is a silver lining with rainbows and sunshine....just open your heart ,listen the wind ,be one with nature...there is a lot you can hear and see with your heart,that you cannot see or hear with your eyes and ears....
I am good at getting things done,guess what,I don't always give myself time to dream.I may not be brilliant, I will give myself the chance to see what dreaming brings into my life...I can and will be the person who provides the flame if I set my mind to it.I will remember how extra-ordinary even my ordinary life is.(GIGGLES)Laughing may not solve my problems today,it may very well help me cope with them....stay tuned...to be continued:
Thanks (JEANNIE) you is right ...this is good therapy.....Love you my friend....

Rednecks-A Day in the Life


Click:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdToKGxYzYw

The truth can be funny.

Old Geezer Jokes for Brian





You may be an old geezer honey but I still love you.If you can put up with an old lady,I can put up with an old man.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"MY MAMA" Part 2

This story brings back a lot of memories,some I guess I had suppressed in the back of my mind...I think this is good therapy for me ...I was very young at the time of my mama's death....I remember the good times,believe me it was more good than bad...I had a very short and happy time with my mama....every holiday/birthday my daddy had,my mama would dress me up and hand me to him and tell him here is your present...Sis says when I was very small,mama would hand me to daddy buck-ass naked...he would just laugh until the tears roll down his face...
The morning my mama left she told me to be a good baby for sis...I was disappointed,I went everywhere with mama,not this time,I think she knew she wasn't coming back,mama told sis to take care of her baby and tell me she will always love me and be with me always,I will never be along,my spiritual guide will always be there,teach me to open my heart,follow the signs that is laid out for me....I was so disappointed in not going with mama,I was trying to catch a chicken to wring it's head off....I heard my daddy call me,I went to see what he wanted,sis was crying...everyone was looking scared to death....my daddy looked so sad,he says come here baby,I have something to tell you...daddy took me in his arms and told me mama was not coming home,I asked why...daddy said mama 's angel carried her home to heaven ,I told him no mama would not leave me,she will be back to get me,I asked daddy where was Michael(sis hubby) daddy said he went with mama,I without a mama,Robert ,Michael Jr. and Nan without a daddy.....daddy said he understood now what mama was telling him..she left him a part of her(me) after the funeral,everyone was asking daddy what was he going to do...daddy said give him time he needed to think ...daddy had a franchise insurance company,my brothers worked with him, two brothers has retired,three still have the company going....Hey I am getting ahead of my self....I told daddy I wasn't going to talk until mama said I could...School started ,I wasn't speaking,not a word...daddy always had time for me,he tried to get me to speak,not even in school...I just knew mama was coming back and tell me when it was time...mama was close to nature,down with mother nature as she call it...sis says mama was a very spiritual person....she also says mama was trying to prepare us for her passing...it was a sad time for all,especially my daddy....wow I loved that old man...in the evening I would set outside listening to see if the wind would bring mama's butterfly kisses and word 's of joy...mama always told me sit quietly ,you could here the wind bringing you words of love from a love one who has pass over.mama was gone about a year,I was sitting on the porch one evening,I guess I dozed off...I jumped up and started hollering for daddy,I was running like the devil was on my tail...daddy was running to me tears rolling down his cheeks..I said mama said it was alright, she is happy and she will come after me when it is time...those was the first words I spoke in over a year...sis call everyone to tell them...my daddy said it was time to leave New Orleans,we carried mama with us...when my daddy passed on we laid him next to mama....I wasn't talking during that time ,I still got into a lot of crap....I carry flowers to mama/daddy...sometine I sit and tell them how my life is going....crazy ..huh....it makes me feel better . stay tuned...to be continue:

How to Stay Married For the Rest of Your Life

Now that you are married,you can't just relax and forget all those nice little things you used to do for each other,all the touching,the'I love yous'.You stand in danger of taking each other for granted,falling in a rut,getting bored,becoming stale and losing the glow.That's hard to fix,so keep your marriage fresh and exciting.It's not that difficult.
The following pointers on how to STAY married are just guidelines.They are not guarantees,but they worked for me and I ain't too bright.
1)Always put her/him first,before work,friends,or anything else.
Always remember your mate is the best thing that ever happened to you.
2)Keep no secrets,pool your money(it's our money)Allow nothing or no one to come between you.
3)Pick your fights carefully.Play fair,show a little class.Hurtful words can be forgiven but they are hard to forget.
4)Fall in love again every day.Flirt,kiss spontaneously and tell your partner he/she is sexy .
5)Never miss an anniversary or birthday or an occasion to make a memory.One day,they'll be more precious than gold.
6)Love her/his family as your own but don't ask them for money and never criticize them.
7)Listen to your heart,say you're sorry if you're wrong.If you're right,don't flaunt it.
8)Never go to bed mad(old but true).Talk it out.
9)There's plenty to laugh about,so laugh a lot.Laugh at yourselves.
10)Never criticize,interrupt,correct or embarass your spouse in public.In fact try not to do it in private either.It's belittling.
11)When your mate is really in need of a show of love or support,give it,even if you're not in the mood.
12)Never look for or expect perfection.It doesn't exist.
13)When you don't like each other(and it does happen sometimes)remember that you love each other.
14)Always tell the truth and tell it with kindness.
15)Try to remember each other's favorite things and make them spontaeous gifts.
16)Examine your relationship from time to time to make sure it's on the path you both want to travel.
17)Be content with what you have materially,be honest about where you are emotionally,and keep growing spiritually.
18)Be friends and lovers
19)Don't shout ,unless your pants are on fire.
20)Be an interesting person.Lead your own life,but save the best of yourself for your mate.
At the end of the day ,you'll realize that you are much better together,than you could ever be apart.Be happy.


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

"MY MAMA" Part One


Today I will talk about my large and crazy family,they are a warm and loving bunch....my dear friend "JEANNIE" said there was enough of us to start our own town...she is so right,I want to tell you about my mama and daddy...they had nine(9) children....I am the last...had to run for my life a lot of time,I was a bad little fucker and still is (GIGGLES)...so lets get all these kids in order...so you will know where I fit in this shit...kids in order so you will understand how young at heart my mama and daddy were..In order as they popped out...Richard...Hamon...Jonathan,Jr./Joanna the twins....Rachel.....Emily....Daniel...Chris...along comes me,I sneaked in the back door;
As I remember my mama....she was a tall woman with black hair...green eyes..a very pretty mama...Her name was Emily Jean`ne ...my daddy said he fell in love with her the first time he saw her...."THE BEGINNING".
My daddy met my mama in El Paso Texas on a hunting trip when he was about twenty (20) years old....my mama family moved from Tahlequah,Ok. to work on the railroad...daddy asked for her hand in marriage,her family says no...my daddy asked why...he was told he lived to far away in New Orleans...my daddy travel to Texas about once a month,guess what,my older brother Richard was on the way...mama wrote daddy,mama's family didn't know she was seeing daddy....my daddy did what any scared young man would do...He told his mama...remember "ROSE" the sea captain's daughter...well she has a lot of her mama in her ...Josie the madame....Josie started all this shit,and boy am I glad.Well "ROSE" went to Texas and gave them a piece of her mind....My mama was pregnant with her blood and she was going to take her to New Orleans with her...you know who won....my daddy said mama loved to dance and sing..she loved spring time ...love dancing/singing in the spring showers....things I remember about my mama she was a gentle woman ...lordy did she have a temper...she would get angry ,my daddy would say...watch it kids, the indian is on the warpath...my family is very protective of me...you see we lost our mama in a train/car accident when I was eight(8) years old....my older sister Joanna lost her husband in the wreck also,I call her sis..she took the responsibility of raising me with her three(3),my mama was forty-eight(48) my daddy was fifty-two(52) when I was born ,my younger brother was ten(10). Sis says the morning mama and her(Sis's) husband ...Michael left for town,mama told her to look after her baby and to tell me she loved me and would always be there looking out for me...to tell my daddy that she is glad she gave him one that looked liked her...sis says she didn't pay to much attention to mama that morning,because mama had started talking weird lately...my daddy brought us the news,that my mama was not coming back...she said before she left she would always be with me....I refuse to talk to anyone until my mama come home...I didn't understand ,I was only eight (8) years old.....to be continued......stay tuned.....you will learned she has never left me......

Mr Obama,You've been busy

**President Obama has called for global action to end the economic downturn.Writing in a column published in 30 leading newspapers around the world,Obama urged the leaders of the Group of 20 major world economies to follow the lead of the USA and take bold coordinated and comprehensive action to kick start their economies ,until global demand is restored.
The furor over the AIG bonuses has distracted attention from Mr.Obama's effort to build support for a huge $3.55trillion budget for the 2010 fiscal year.He considers it central to his efforts to lift the economy out of the recession.Republicans and even some Democrats in congress have complained it's too costly in view of the already,huge accumulated deficit.
**Mr.Obama is pressing Congress to enact a bill giving government broader non bank regulatory powers.He hopes it doesn't take too long to convince congress to approve new authority to oversee financial firms.
WHAT ELSE HAS HE BEEN UP TO?
**Obama is set to unveil the Mexican drugs/guns plan.
**Obama fills key Treasury posts.
**Space fan Obama makes out of this world call as he talks to astronauts on the orbiting space station.
**He has restored the Endangered Species Regulations,revoked by Mr Bush.This requires experts to assess the impact of government projects on endangered species.
**Mr Obama has asked Congress to enact contentious measures to cut subsidies for big farms;combat global warming with a pollution tax on industries;raise taxes on the wealthy and radically change the health care system.
**Obama intends to beef up the Palestinian Authority Army,spending as much as $55 million on American training,to help them defend themselves.
**He approved stem cell research,also previously banned by Mr.Bush
He's been a busy fellow.I've only touched on a very few of his activities since he's been in office.Not everyone approves of his strategies but hey,he's out there,trying to do something to benefit his country.We should maybe follow his example.Watch his address this evening.

Monday, March 23, 2009

How to Stay Married For the Rest of Your LIfe

On the occasion of my anniversary,I have decided to impart a little of my life experience.Although I'm not a trained expert in this field,I've learned a lot of things the hard way.(That is,by doing it wrong the first time)

When you marry,you should believe in your heart that it will be forever.If you don't,you're starting off on the wrong foot.For example,if you demand a prenuptial agreement,aren't you already foreseeing the end of the relationship,the dissolution of the marriage?You have to believe this is the only person in the world you want to spend the rest of your life with.If your heart and mind are in that place,then you've made a good start.
So before you make that leap of faith you should take your time and make absolutely certain you have picked the right partner.It's not only exciting and wonderful,keep in mind you are entering a binding legal contract and the biggest personal and financial transaction of your life.

Ask yourself a few questions.If you became ill would you trust this person with your medical care,maybe your life?Would you trust them with all your money and property?Can you love their parents?(you'll find out how important that is)
Do you want your children to be just like them? Do you want to change certain things about them?Are your goals the same?Are your tastes the same?Do you enjoy the same lifestyle?Do religious differences have significance?Does your partner have a good sense of humor?(boy,is that important)Finally,do you really know this person well?(You don't want unpleasant surprises later when you've tied the knot.)
Never marry with the expectation that you can change what you don't like about someone.You can't.You have to accept the whole package.

People who are thirty and older can put sexual attraction in it's proper perspective a little better.Marrying a little older is a good idea.If you are bowled over by physical attraction,you should stop and think how you'll feel when you've both got an extra twenty pounds around the waist and a few wrinkles.Will you still want take a romantic walk on the beach?Don't place too much importance on that powerful sexual feeling.Yes,it's important,but over time it becomes diluted and you may be left with not much else that matters.

Certain decisions should be made before you marry.Decide on your objectives.When you're going to buy a house,who is going to raise the children and who is going to work.If you are both going to work,you have to divide household responsibilities.This is a partnership and one partner should not be more burdened than the other.Marriage is hard work,but it is so worth the effort.It is very satisfying and very fulfilling.

Your spouse should be your best friend and should be treated as such.If you don't think of them that way,or they don't think of you that way,maybe you should reconsider.

So,marry,be joyful,be prosperous and tomorrow,I'll give you some tips on how to stay married.At least the ones that worked to keep my marriage alive and well.

Gilly,Don't Eat the Pets

Remember when you told me,Gilly might eat your puppy?I thought you were kidding.Now I see that family pets are a hot menu item for babies.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Nana's TV.

Nana,a sweet looking little 85 year old tyrant,wanted a new tv,so she asked Brian and I to go and buy one for her.

So you would think,easy peasy,lots of good deals out there right now.It's a buyer's market,but you don't know Nana.Nana doesn't like anything.She hates everything the family does for her and nags us to death about it.Even if Nana liked something,she would never say so.She would nag us on principal.
But,because we're born suckers,or maybe,born losers and because we love her,we accepted the mission.
We figured we could find a nice 42" Samsung or Toshiba for around a thousand dollars.So,armed with our list from Nana we set out.I checked the list: not too big;not too small;simple,but nice design;1080 high definition;easy to operate,not a lot of complicated functions;easy to read remote;free HD package from Rogers,good for a year;a good service warranty;an attractive tv stand with lots of storage;delivery;installation and finally,she wanted them to take the enormous old set away.All this for a thousand dollars.Helloooo,not possible.
We decided to drive off the bridge and end our lives,painfully but swiftly.If we didn't make Nana happy,the pain would go on for much longer.

We started at big electronics stores that had lots of deals.We worked out a deal on a great package that included everything for $2800.We called Nana.She was outraged.She said,absolutely,no more than $1500 dollars.Brian held the phone away from his ear while she let off some steam,then he explained that it was not possible,but he would try to do better.So,more electronics stores,department stores,furniture and appliance stores,factory outlets and finally,back to the store we had started from.Nowhere in town,could we find a better deal.

Wandering through the store again,numb with exhaustion and seeing double,I thought I saw a nice Sony that seemed to fill all the requirements.I blinked a few times in case it was a mirage .It was real.How had I missed it the first time around?It sat on a very nice stand and had all the required features.The tv itself was on special for $1250.We would have to do something about that.I called my husband over.He is an old horse trader with a gift for wheeling and dealing.He badgered that poor salesman until his eyes glazed over and he finally said we could have it for a thousand dollars.Whew!I was sensing victory and it reenergized me.I asked the price of the stand.It was reasonable.Yes!Unfortunately,they had no more in stock.No!

The salesman suggested I look around and find another one.I found a good stand but it cost a hundred dollars more.Time to call Brian into the fray again.He told the poor fellow he would not take the deal unless we got the stand for the same price as the original one.The harassed man sighed deeply and caved in.He didn't know we were driven by fear of Nana.We could save another fifty bucks if Brian assembled the stand himself.Done!

We all trooped over to the counter and let him tally up the total with installation and service package etc.It came to $2200 dollars.Time to call Nana.Brian took the plunge.After his careful explanation,that he had spent the whole day going all over town and this was the best deal to be had,I could hear her yelling that she would not spend a penny over $2000 and they should be grateful for her patronage in these hard times.He looked a little fatigued when he clicked the phone off and turned to the beleaguered salesman and asked him to figure a way to shave it down to $2000.The guy started a frenzy of typing I thought would never end and finally,after eliminating a few more frills, turned to us,smiled wanly and showed us the total,$2000.05.

The first thing I said was ,"pay the five cents."
"I will not,"said Brian."I've done enough.She won't quibble over five cents."
"You better call her and tell her you got the deal she wanted,"I said.
Brian made the call and Nana seemed about as grumpy as she usually was,which could mean she was pleased,if you wanted to interpret it that way.Brian looked happy.
"Don't be too smug,you didn't tell her about the five cents,"I said,relieved to be going home. That five cents bothered me.It seemed to mar the almost miracle we had performed.

Of course,Nana hadn't seen the tv yet.It was entirely possible that she would hate it and send it back.If that happened,we agreed to shoot each other.

"Beware" Whoopi's on a Ranting Spree


Beware fashion police/Stacy London....don't dare critique Whoopi Goldberg clothes--if so be prepared to face her on the View...Whoopi let her claws out and started her rant on "what not to wear" host Stacy London and a TV guide reporter who both ripped on the Whoopster's wardrobe....calling one TV Guide an anonymous bitch,Whoopi went on to say people shouldn't judge her by what she wear...judge her by her actions and what she says...when Whoopi started her rant,she said she had a bone to pick with TV Guide magazine,particularly,a woman name Ingela Ratledge,who wrote that Whoopi goes on TV looking like she is ready to make a run to Costo's.(GIGGLES)
Whoopi says my style,who I am...it's not about her clothing...if she came in a burlap bag,she would still be Whoopi Goldberg....the Whoopster goes on to say,thats who she has always been...so kiss her ass ...Whoopi tells Stacy. Well I guess she told them...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Natasha Richardson...Autopsy

Prominent actress and wife of Liam Neeson, Natasha Richardson,died from bleeding in her skull caused by a fall she took on a ski slope.Her autopsy revealed Richardson incurred an epidural hematoma from her accident.Doctors say she might have survived had she received immediate attention,but four hours elapsed from the time of the injury to her admission into hospital.She dismissed the ambulance that came to take her to the hospital,saying,she felt fine.Apparently,that is not unusual in these cases.It takes some time for the bleeding to reach a critical stage and symptoms to present themselves.Such bleeding can create a blood clot,which causes pressure on the brain,which in turn presses down onto the brain stem.The brain stem controls breathing and vital body functions.

Natasha was vacationing at the Mont Tremblant resort in Quebec.Quebec legislators are now seriously considering making helmets compulsory on the slopes,an excellent idea.

Natasha descended from a famous acting dynasty.Her mother was Vanessa Redgrave.She had an impressive body of work and was regarded as a fine actress in her own right.She is survived by her husband and two sons,Micheal,13 and Daniel,12.It's always very sad to see someone so young,vibrant and gifted snatched from a fulfilling life and loving family...My sympathy.


Dear CC it's time to.....

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Billy Connolly-Scottish Bad Boy

Billy is an extremely funny,anecdotal ,blue comedian.This is just a small excerpt from one of his live performances.Be prepared for a little profanity.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

AMISH ELEVATOR

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were walking through a mall.They were astounded and amazed at the wonderous things they saw all around them.It was a new experience for them both.
They stopped and stared at two shiny silver walls that could move apart and slide back together.The boy said,"Father,what is this?"
His father(never having seen an elevator before)replied,"I don't know son.I have never seen anything like it in my life ."
While they watched in amazement,a very fat,old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pushed a button.The walls parted and the lady wheeled between them into a small room.The walls closed and they watched the red numbers above the walls change sequentially.Then,they watched the numbers reverse themselves.
The Walls slid back and a gorgeous 24 year old blonde stepped out.The father leaned over,without taking his eyes off the beautiful woman,and said quietly to the boy,
"go get your mother."

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"NOW YOU KNOW"


Things happen for a reason.if we don't know what that reason is,we create one,it's part of what makes us human,well I am cut from a different piece of cloth....sometime I need someone to explain things to me....I also know there is logic,rationality,and order to the world.Some of the reasons we come up with for why we do things are thoughtful,others are silly.Some are possible,others are improbable.More important than coming up with the right reason....
My man I love you dearly...you have good instincts about many things...women you are just as dumb as the many men...Time and experience should have taught you about my likes and dislikes,I wouldn't be so damn angry with you ,if we hadn't talk about this shit.....I love you for your efforts,think first.....you are a smart man ....so wake up and smell the roses......but hey that's just me......You of all people know what you see is what you get......

Fascinating Facts About the Human Body

*The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
*Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
*Women blink twice as often as men.
*Your ears and nose continue to grow all your life.
*If saliva can't dissolve something,you can't taste it.
*In your lifetime you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.
*Your body uses 300 muscles to support and balance you while standing.
*The higher your IQ,the more you dream.
*The brain operates on the same amount of power as a ten watt light bulb.
*The fastest growing nail is on your middle finger.
*The acid in your stomach can dissolve razor blades.
* The left lung is smaller than the right lung to make room for the heart.
*The largest cell in the human body is the female's egg and the smallest cell is the male's sperm.
*Women will be finished reading this by now.Men are still checking their thumbs.


Monday, March 16, 2009

God Bless You and Keep You George,You Atheist Bastard

Click:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNy6ziOyxoA

Click:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILwOQV32rHg

I have always loved George Carlin.He was the only comedian who could make me weep with laughter.He was someone we could all relate to.God, how I miss him.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

My Nightmare Date --part two

Apparently my date had two personalities:the polite professional one,who seemed calm and confident and the loud,bragging,sexist pig personality that I was trapped in the car with.

He was dressed in expensive,stylish clothes,with glossy hair,a nice white smile and he smelled so good.I had found him physically,very attractive.I amazed myself at how fickle I could be,because I didn't like him at all now.

We arrived at the restaurant and were seated.To give him his due,it was a great restaurant,very expensive.I knew he didn't have a lot of money,so perhaps he was trying to impress me.Now I felt guilty because I didn't like the guy.

He showed off with the wine steward,the big know-it-all.I guess he considered himself something of a wine connoisseur and he ordered food in the same know-it-all way.I knew I was picking faults.The poor guy wouldn't be able to do anything right in my eyes now.

All through dinner,he regaled me with his brilliant career so far.Case by case,I heard how amazingly well he handled all his clients,and what a genius he was in court.I honestly don't remember if he asked me any questions about myself at all.He had probably read my file and knew all he wanted to know.It gradually dawned on me that he was selling himself to me,trying to convince me to buy the product and what a hard sell it was.If he had been a different person ,it might have endeared him to me.I might have told him he didn't have to try so hard.He also told a lot of off colour jokes(very inappropriate on a first date),followed by his piercing laugh.Had I been more worldly,I would have seen that he was sending me a pretty clear message with those jokes.
Mercifully,dinner ended.Once in the car,he said,"it's still early let's go to my apartment for a while."
I replied,"no thankyou,I'd like to go home and check on my children."
"I'd really like to show you my wine collection."
"Perhaps another time."
"Your mom is perfectly capable of taking care of the kids".
"I'd rather not."
"C'mon,do I have to beg you?"
"Of course not.Well,okay,for a little while then."(WHAT!Stupid,stupid woman.)
You have to remember,I related this guy to our family lawyer,a very trusted friend.I had no worries for my safety.When I entered his apartment,I was really impressed.The guy had great taste,understated elegance,even a few good art pieces.He took my coat and as I was looking at a painting he grabbed me from behind and slobbered all over my neck.I squawked in surprise and tried to pull away.
"C'mon,you know why we're here."He slid his hands up over my breasts."I've seen you sneaking looks at me."
I turned around and shoved his chest as hard as I could.I couldn't budge him.In those days all divorcees were considered "Hot to Trot".I had to get out of there,but not before I gave him a piece of my mind.Just as I opened my mouth to tell him what a piece of shit he was,he kissed me and shoved his tongue so far down my throat I gagged.Afterwards,I wished I had blown chunks all over him.If he thought buying me a dinner would get him some sex,then he could have his dinner back.What perfect revenge.
I struggled and he started using a little force."C'mon,no games." he said.
"Get off me 'asshole'."
"Stop being such a bitch.We both need this.I waited a long time for this."
"Then wait till hell freezes over 'fuckhead'."
He said,"I put out for this evening,now you put out.Surely,that's why you came up here."
He shoved me against the wall and ground his pelvis against me.I could tell he was very aroused.I realized if I didn't do something pretty drastic,I might be assaulted.So,when he tried to do the tongue thing again,I bit it,hard.
He squealed like a woman and backed off.His tongue was bleeding.He called me something that sounded like 'cunk'and ran for the bathroom.As a parting shot,I yelled that I was going to tell his boss,and I did.I grabbed my coat and got the hell out of there.
His boss was very appologetic.I'm not sure what happened to the guy and I never asked.I just know I never saw him around the law office again.
Divorcees are not 'hot to trot'.They are wounded,vulnerable and lonely.If you try to take advantage of that,then you,my friend, are a predator (and a fuckhead).
It was a long time before I went on another date and I never again went out with a lawyer.(They should all be castrated.)


"Green Pepper Steak" For "BRIAN"


Prep. time: 20 minutes....Cook time:30/40 minutes
For 4 servings you will need:
1 lb.beef chuck or round fat trimmed
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 clove garlic
1 1/2 tsp. grated fresh ginger or 1/2 tsp.ground
1/3 cup virgin olive oil
1 cup green onion,thinly sliced
1 cup green bell peppers cut into 1 inch squares
1/2 cup green bell peppers cut into 1 inch slices
2 stalks celery ,thinly slice
1 Tbsp. cornstarch
1 cup water
2 tomatoes ,cut into wedges
Preparation:
1.)Cut the beef across grain into thin strips,1/4 inch thick
2.)Combine soy sauce,garlic,ginger,toss and set aside ,prepare vegetables.
3.)Heat oil in large frying pan or wok,add beef,brown on high heat....cover and simmer over low heat for 30/40 minutes
4.)Turn heat up and add vegetables...stir until vegetables are tender crisp,about 10 minutes
5.)Mix cornstarch with water,add to beef/vegetables in skillet,stir and cook until thickened
6.)Add tomatoes and heat through
It's quick and tasty( if you notice I always let you use your own judgement on salt/pepper...we have to watch our intake) you can season it to your taste....my family loves highly season food...I cook a lot of "Cajun and Creole style foods....
This recipe is especially for "Brian" better known as the "Jeannie"s Ever-ready Man the Rock".
You go girl....(GIGGLES) The devil made me do it..hahaha

Saturday, March 14, 2009

"Hard Times Everywhere"


What's this?..when it rains,it really storms.
Can Octomom be worried about the millions she is planning on receiving over the next eighteen(18) years...stay tuned as the saga continues.
news:mike luckovich/creator syndicate