Nana's TV.

Nana,a sweet looking little 85 year old tyrant,wanted a new tv,so she asked Brian and I to go and buy one for her.

So you would think,easy peasy,lots of good deals out there right now.It's a buyer's market,but you don't know Nana.Nana doesn't like anything.She hates everything the family does for her and nags us to death about it.Even if Nana liked something,she would never say so.She would nag us on principal.

But,because we're born suckers,or maybe,born losers and because we love her,we accepted the mission.

We figured we could find a nice 42" Samsung or Toshiba for around a thousand dollars.So,armed with our list from Nana we set out.I checked the list: not too big;not too small;simple,but nice design;1080 high definition;easy to operate,not a lot of complicated functions;easy to read remote;free HD package from Rogers,good for a year;a good service warranty;an attractive tv stand with lots of storage;delivery;installation and finally,she wanted them to take the enormous old set away.All this for a thousand dollars.Helloooo,not possible.

We decided to drive off the bridge and end our lives,painfully but swiftly.If we didn't make Nana happy,the pain would go on for much longer.

We started at big electronics stores that had lots of deals.We worked out a deal on a great package that included everything for $2800.We called Nana.She was outraged.She said,absolutely,no more than $1500 dollars.Brian held the phone away from his ear while she let off some steam,then he explained that it was not possible,but he would try to do better.So,more electronics stores,department stores,furniture and appliance stores,factory outlets and finally,back to the store we had started from.Nowhere in town,could we find a better deal.

Wandering through the store again,numb with exhaustion and seeing double,I thought I saw a nice Sony that seemed to fill all the requirements.I blinked a few times in case it was a mirage .It was real.How had I missed it the first time around?It sat on a very nice stand and had all the required features.The tv itself was on special for $1250.We would have to do something about that.I called my husband over.He is an old horse trader with a gift for wheeling and dealing.He badgered that poor salesman until his eyes glazed over and he finally said we could have it for a thousand dollars.Whew!I was sensing victory and it reenergized me.I asked the price of the stand.It was reasonable.Yes!Unfortunately,they had no more in stock.No!

The salesman suggested I look around and find another one.I found a good stand but it cost a hundred dollars more.Time to call Brian into the fray again.He told the poor fellow he would not take the deal unless we got the stand for the same price as the original one.The harassed man sighed deeply and caved in.He didn't know we were driven by fear of Nana.We could save another fifty bucks if Brian assembled the stand himself.Done!

We all trooped over to the counter and let him tally up the total with installation and service package etc.It came to $2200 dollars.Time to call Nana.Brian took the plunge.After his careful explanation,that he had spent the whole day going all over town and this was the best deal to be had,I could hear her yelling that she would not spend a penny over $2000 and they should be grateful for her patronage in these hard times.He looked a little fatigued when he clicked the phone off and turned to the beleaguered salesman and asked him to figure a way to shave it down to $2000.The guy started a frenzy of typing I thought would never end and finally,after eliminating a few more frills, turned to us,smiled wanly and showed us the total,$2000.05.

The first thing I said was ,"pay the five cents."

"I will not,"said Brian."I've done enough.She won't quibble over five cents."

"You better call her and tell her you got the deal she wanted,"I said.

Brian made the call and Nana seemed about as grumpy as she usually was,which could mean she was pleased,if you wanted to interpret it that way.Brian looked happy.

"Don't be too smug,you didn't tell her about the five cents,"I said,relieved to be going home. That five cents bothered me.It seemed to mar the almost miracle we had performed.

Of course,Nana hadn't seen the tv yet.It was entirely possible that she would hate it and send it back.If that happened,we agreed to shoot each other.