RANT ABOUT CHRISTMAS STUFF

OKAY,so I was always passionate about all things Christmas.As a kid,I loved the tinsel,the sparkling star on the top of the tree,candy canes,twinkling lights,wreaths and garlands.I adored it all.

My mom made Christmas so magical.She made Christmas cakes and puddings.She made cookies and gingerbread men.The house was always redolent with warm spicy aromas.
Christmas eve we went to hear the choir singing carols on the steps of City Hall.Christmas morning was so exciting.....

ENOUGH REMINISCING!!THIS IS A FREAKIN RANT!!!!!

When I moved into my first home I started my own collection of Christmas stuff and traditions.My kids loved it,so I kept adding to my collection.Ornaments for the tree,the mantle,the windows;centre pieces for the tables .The outside of the house was lit up like a YOU KNOW WHAT.

People got the idea that the perfect gift for me ,no matter what the occasion,was some kind of Christmas geegaw.And so commenced a twenty year avalanche of Christmas knickknacks that would make WALMART SHUDDER WITH DISTASTE.

It became a contest.Who could buy me the NICEST ornament/geegaw?Then it became,who could buy me the BIGGEST nicknack/gimcrack?Now,it seems to be,who can buy me the BIGGEST,GAUDIEST,gimcrack/geegaw?
And,they DON'T FORGET what they've given me either.Every year they look for the special gifts they gave me.I have to put every one on display.If they don't see them they ask,"Where's that ornament we bought you last year?You know,we searched for hours to find just the right one for you.WE KNOW HOW YOU LOVE YOUR CHRISTMAS STUFF."

They started buying me little ceramic houses ,churches,shops and carol singers under lamp posts,so I could create a Christmas village.They got so carried away with it,I ended up with a FUCKING METROPOLIS,THE SIZE OF NEW YORK!!We didn't have a table big enough to hold it.

I've tried to fool them.I've artfully arranged big groupings of things,so I could leave out a few of the ugliest ones ;hoping,that in the mass confusion of glitter, they wouldn't notice .
THEY NOTICED!!I couldn't take the hurt looks.
So every year,I faithfully put out every cheap plastic ornament from my grandkids,every ceramic,wood,fabric and wax item from the older members in my family and even the BLOW UP SANTA AND REINDEER for the lawn(I wish I could remember the asshole who gave me that).

This year I intend to rent a blimp with an advertising space on it,and have it hover over every house that harbours people who have made Christmas so tortuous for me.It will simply say...NO MORE FUCKING CHRISTMAS STUFF!!!!.....thankyou..Jeannie.

I have no more storage.The basement is crammed.The garage is stuffed to the rafters.I've even taken over the garden shed.
I,however,came up with a brilliant,if devious plan.One of my daughters loves Christmas almost as much as I(used to)so,I have been,slowly, giving her a few of my Christmas ornaments at a time,and telling her,it is now her duty to carry on the family Christmas traditions.I'm going to try this on some of my other children too.How can they refuse,without hurting my feelings?(heh heh heh)

Christmas starts in October in Canada.Decorations on the lamp posts and in the malls .CHRISTMAS STUFF ON THE SHELVES,COMPETING WITH HALLOWEEN STUFF,FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've noticed that mega-tons of ornaments and Christmas stuff are coming in from China this year.Some of them are especially pretty and nicely made.Some of them are so cute.....GOD HELP ME!!!!!!!....