Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I have a 40-year-old daughter who is lazy . When she  injures  herself, has surgery  or is sick, I wait  on her  like she's a baby . But I recently needed surgery  myself  and she  has no interest  in helping me at all .
A while back, I hired  someone to clean  her bedroom . It took two days. It was absolutely  disgusting. Now  that I can't pick up after her, it's getting bad again . If I say  anything to her, she throws a tantrum . I'm getting too old for this .
Can't Take  the Arguments

Dear  Can't ,
You're too old ? 
Your daughter is  40  and still lives at home  and expects her  mother  to clean her room . I do not understand  some parents who encourage  their children  to behave  like babies  and treat parents  like servants  and then complain  when they do . 
Unless  your  daughter  is incapable  of holding a job  and living independently, tell her  it's time she found a place of her own . At the very least , insist  she pay you rent  . Do not clean her  room . Close the door and let her  deal with her own mess .
Maxy



Dear Maxy ,
I am a caregiver  for my husband, who was  diagnosed with  Lewy  body dementia . Before that time, I had never heard of Lewy body dementia, nor did I know  that there  are actually four  distinct  dementia  classifications; Alzheimer's , Lewy body, frontal lobe  and vascular.
At this time, there are 1.3 million Americans  who have  been diagnosed  with Lewy body dementia, which is  the second  most common  progressive  dementia   and is believed  to be under-diagnosed .
These  individuals  are drug sensitive and the incorrect  drugs can  cause full blown  dementia .
Anyone  who shows  sign  of dementia  should see their primary  care physician  or a neurologist  for proper  diagnostic  testing .
Trinidad , Ca.

Dear  Trinidad ,
Thank you calling this to my attention .
Aside  from the familiar  cognitive  symptoms of dementia, Lewy's includes visual hallucinations, as well as movement disorders  that may  be related  to Parkinson's .
The earlier  it is diagnosed, the sooner the  treatment  can begin . Those  who wish  to know more  about  Lewy body dementia  can contact  www.lbda.org .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I recently lost my  job  and had to move  out of my apartment  . I currently  live with  my best friend  and her husband . It has been six  months since I lost my  job and my friends  husband  is giving me hints  that I should find  a place because  I am getting  in the way of their relationship .
I called my parents  to see if  I could move back home  into their house  and they told me no  and I should find a woman's shelter  to move into  until I  can get my life together. I had a bad experience  in a women's shelter  many years  ago . I am hurt  and disappointed  that my parents made a suggestion like that .
I have a couple of dollars  saved up, but I do not  know how long  it will last . I used to work in the accounting  department  of a  hotel chain  and I am ready  to work  and have my own place  again . 
Nowhere  to Turn
Dear nowhere to turn ,
Comb your memory  to see if you  have any other  friends or a relative who may take  you in temporarily . If it is possible,  just rent a room in a decent  single women's boarding house or at the YWCA.
If necessary, go to a shelter  for a short time  .  Research  to find  the safest  and cleanest ones  in your area . Spend your days  looking for a job, perhaps  outside  your  field . Be prepared  to take a job below your qualifications just until you rebuild your savings.
Maxy