Tarzan's Dilemma

One day, as Tarzan was walking through the jungle, he tripped over a sleeping lion. The lion woke up snarling and attacked Tarzan. It ripped off one of Tarzan's arms, clawed out one of his eyes and chewed off his penis. Poor Tarzan was left for dead.

Fortunately his friend Cheetah found him in time and rescued him. Cheetah took Tarzan up to their treehouse high above the jungle floor in the thick canopy of jungle vines and leaves. Cheetah and his chimpanzee friends pondered how they could fix Tarzan so he could return to his life and be happy again. They decided to use what they had readily at hand. They fitted him with a gorilla's arm to replace the one he had lost. They popped an eagle's eye into his empty socket. And finally, after much deliberation, found a baby elephant's trunk to replace his penis.

After allowing Tarzan a few days to adjust to his new parts, Cheetah asked, "How do you like them?"
Tarzan replied, thoughtfully,"Me like new arm, very strong. Me like new eye; see good and very far. But me no like new willie, all day long it pick up leaves and fruit and shove them up my ass."