Ask Maxy

 

Dear Maxy,

I don't know how to get rid of my pest of a neighbor, I moved to this community  three years ago  after my divorce . I befriended "Joyce" a woman in her 70s who lives two doors down .
Joyce won't leave me alone . When I entertain my fiance  or friends, she is sure to walk over uninvited  and interrupt  us . I've given her my business card and asked her to call first  to make sure I'm not busy . It hasn't worked . She also drinks  my wine  and even though she has an extensive wine collection, she never ofters to replace  the bottle she consumed at my place .
At times, I've had to shut my curtains  and hide in my bedroom  until she is gone . Help.
Prisoner in My Own Home

Dear Prisoner ,
Joyce  is lonely  and either clueless  or deliberately obtuse .It is a kindness to include her  when you can , but you are entitled  to entertain without her . So you will need to be a bit more assertive  and willing to upset her . The next time  Joyce  comes over  unannounced  and unwanted, stop her at the door  and say, "I'm sorry, Joyce," I have company . You will have to come back at another time ." If she gets teary, pushy or anything else, simply repeat  that she will have to come back at another time .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
My 16-year-old son likes a young lady  who lives in our neighborhood . He told me he would like to take her to the movies  for their first date . I'm am a little nervous to say yes because  this is the first time my son has expressed to me this type of feeling  toward this young lady . I think I would chaperone my son on his first date . I don't want to embarrass my son, but I want him to have a great time . What is a mother to do ?
Mother May I

Dear Mother May I ,
Going to the movies  can be a nice first date . What's even nicer  is that your son asked your permission  to set it up . At age 16, it is normal for him to want to court a young lady . I suggest  that you remind him  of boundaries  and approptiate  behavior  and let him go, on his own, with your blessing . If he has his own money , that's great . If he needs financial assistance, give him what it costs  for the two tickets plus  a little extra  for snacks . You want him to feel empowered during the date and to be a gentleman .
Give him a curfew .
 When he  comes home, give him a little space . You can ask him how his date went  but let him reveal  details . He could easily be a little  uncomfortable  about talking  about the first time  he has invited a girl to go out . If he seems to like this young lady, suggest that he invite her over  sometime so you can meet her .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I placed an order with a local restaurant  and at the end of the order  I told them that I would come to the restaurant to pick it up .
When the food was ready, I went to the restaurant  to pay . The cashier asked  if I would like to leave a tip . I did not leave a tip  because I went to the restaurant  to pick up my food . Do you think I should have left a tip ? What is the proper etiquette when it comes to tipping for picking up an order ?
Hungry Man

Dear Hungry Man ,
As you might imagine, there are varying opinions  on this topic . People who have worked  in food service  suggest  that you should leave something  up to 10 percent  of the bill  because people  who worked at the restaurant  prepared the food , packaged it  and got it ready  for you to pick up .
I would say that if you placed a very large order  or complicated  order or if the restaurant  did something  extra, above  and beyond  the basics , it would be  thoughtful to add a small tip . Outside of that, though, I do not subscribe to the automatic tip for takeout .
When it comes  to  eating in, 20 percent  or more is the norm to follow  unless you receive  horrible service .
Maxy