I would like to thank all the kind folks who cared enough about me to send me all the educational emails and articles over the past few years.Thanks to you,I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last guest was doing while surfing through the channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what took place on it since it was last washed.
I can't have lemon slices in my drinks because lemon peels have been found to contain nasty micro-organisms, including faeces.
I don't shake hands with anyone who has been driving because the number one pastime of people driving alone is picking their nose.
Thanks go out to the guy who told me about the poop in the glue on envelopes.
I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer causing deodorants, even on a hot day, and I stink.
Because you're so concerned about me I no longer drink COCA COLA because it can remove toilet stains.
I can't buy gas unless I have somone watch the car, in case a serial killer crawls in the back seat while I'm filling the tank.
I don't use glad wrap in the microwave. It causes cancer.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a spritz of sample perfume then mug me.
I would never pick up money dropped in a parking lot because it was placed there by a rapist hiding under the car, waiting to grab my leg and pull me down.
Thankyou for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will probably blow up in my face and disfigure me for life.
My eternal gratitude to you for telling me about the gallons of trans fats I've been ingesting for years, which now sit in my arteries like a ticking time bomb.
I now live with enough stress and anxiety to give me a massive heart attack or a stroke and send me to an early grave. Thankyou, thankyou all.
My dear sweet recipe recipe lady
ReplyDeleteThank you for the goodies the carrot cake was delicious. We will have the Boston Cream Pie tonight.
Can't wait to taste the Hazelnut Biscotti.
My daughter don't have any hazelnuts and I asked Mamie to go to super market to get some.
As you know things have been kind of tense around here but they have settle down. My daughter is taking care of my son's office or whatever the hell he do down there.
I cut a hunk of cake while it was still warm and boy was it good. Out of nowhere there's the family begger.
I read your note and it was a thrill to get one so soon. Nee says it was there all the time so she showed me how to find them.
My daughter says your husband is doing better that's good to hear.I am sure with his complete recovery you can do most of the things you want to do.
The pain will enventually go away, from what I hear he's a strong man and with your love and care he will beat this thing yet. In a couple of months you and he will sit on the patio or your boat and laugh about all this.
I wasn't much of a praying man until I met my daughter's family and now I'm a believer.
I too will be glad when my son return, it's breaks my heart to see my daughter say she's going to take a nap and I know she's not because I can see the tears in her eyes.
My sweet lady things will change I will see to it personally.
I told you I was long winded but what can I say when I have the opportunity to talk with a sweet and beautiful lady. Tell that husband of yours he is a very lucky man.
We will talk again soon.
Big G.