Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

Last weekend ,my friends and I went  to a party while visiting  college . Since we are only juniors  in high school, we have never been to this type of party  and were nervous . Once we got there, we were confronted by a group of  guys . I do not  drink myself, so I felt uncomfortable  when they asked to get us drinks . I was peer-pressured  into having  this mixed drink  that was being served  and I do not  really remember  the rest of the night . My friends  told me the next morning  that these guys  had slipped  something  into my drink, which caused me to black out . I am very upset about this  . My friends said they didn't allow  the guys  to take advantage, but still, I am  upset with them . How do I address the fact that I am thankful, but still disappointed .

DistraughtFriend

Dear Distraught  Friend ,

You have every reason  to be upset . This is a very dangerous situation that could have turned  out much worse . Rather than  scolding your  friends, you  need to review your own personal checklist of things you will and will not  do . Among them is the most  difficult ... not succumbing to peer pressure . Call yourself the designated driver  when you go  to parties  and choose not to drink, even if you aren't  driving . Do not ever drink punch at a party . Do not have your friends or anyone else get a drink for  you . Make it  your  policy  to see the origin  of the  drink . That will help  to reduce  the chances  of such folly in the future .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I recently lost my job at a public relations  firm, I have found  another  job, but it  does not pay as much . I'm used  to being able to splurge and buy the newest fashions, but my new salary does not afford  me that luxury . I know  they're  just material objects but I miss being  able  to go to  the store  and buy  whatever I want . How can I tailor  my spending  to my new  salary  while  still be able  to indulge  myself once in a while  ? Moreover, is indulging  even financially responsible ?

Cutting  Costs

Dear Cutting  Costs,

Life's twists and turns  require you  to shift  along  with them . Your key  question  is what stands  out . Is indulging  responsible ? No . Sure, every now  and then  treating yourself  to something  special  can be nice . But first, you should have a budget  worked out  that includes  all your  bills  and a healthy allotment  for saving  short-term  and for your retirement . You are never too young  to put money  away . That's way  smarter  than "throwing it away" on clothes  or other things .

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

A young female member  of my family  has gotten fat and I asked her  the reason  for the change . Now she won't  speak to me . Everyone says I made  a mistake, because no one should ever ask a woman why she is obese . I care  about this  young woman  and that is why  I put the question to her . I don't want her  to grow as big  as  another  member of  my family,  that's all .

Concerned Old Man in West Hills

Dear  Concerned ,

It is rude  to ask anyone why they are fat . What exactly  do you  expect them to say ? You may  have  meant well, but your approach  was  insensitive . People  who  are obese  are  quite  aware  of the fact . I suggest  you apologize  and say  you are simply  worried about her . Then change the  subject .

Maxy