I am a man in my late 20s , and most of my friends are getting married and starting their lives . Meanwhile, I am still single . I always envisioned myself being married by now, so I feel a little disappointed . It's hard seeing my friends getting married and having a lifetime partner when I feel so alone . Furthermore, I'm scared that I'm going to feel even more isolated because the married couples will only socialize with one another . How do I enjoy this period in my friends lives and move forward at my own pace .
Dear Moving Behind,
I understand your disappointment. In a way, you answered your own question, "move forward at my own pace." You have become static; you are not moving in any direction. It is up to you to change your situation by changing your focus.
You have lost your common ground with your friends. Their priorities and goals have changed and yours have not. Don't give up on your friends, they will always be there for you and you will still find time for them. But now you have to look after yourself. You need to find people who are at the same place in life that you are.
Go where you can meet and make friends with people who are single. Join a health club and start working out or take up a hobby . You could travel more and meet people that way. In short, do things and go places that keep you busy.
Your friends cannot change to accommodate you, now that they are married. And you cannot marry just to be part of their group. Please believe they still care for you and they will certainly respect you for living your life to the fullest. And one day, you and your friends will, once more, travel the same road with the same destination, but certainly not before you are ready.
Dear Maxy ,
Please print my pet peeve . I am a senior citizen and dislike the terms used by waitresses ,waiters and other serving the public . I fee that I'm being patronized when they call me "Sweetie," "Honey," "Darlin'," "Angel," etc . These words want me to decrease my tip .
"May I take your order , please?" is all that is necessary . If you know my name use it .
There are some folks that like these terms of endearment , but I agree that they can seem patronizing .
No server wants to insult you . If you don't like such terms, please speak up , politely and tell the server, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me "honey" etc.
I have a bone to pick with pedestrians . I can't tell you how many times I have began to walk up a flight of stairs only to discover that someone is walking down the side I am walking up . As a child , I learned that you walk up on the right side and down on the left . Is that still the proper way to use stairs ? And when you are on an escalator or one of those moving walkways in airports , aren't you supposed to go to the right if you are moving slowly or want to stand still and let fast movers go on the left ? Please tell me that this is true and that I'm not crazy .
Up The Stairs
Dear up the Stairs,
The standard in America is that whether you are walking up or down a flight of stairs , your right hand should be able to hold onto the handrail on your right . As you are walking down a flight of stairs, for example, if someone is walking up the same flight of stairs, that person should be passing you on your left and therefore, not causing a collision .
It is true that if you want to pass someone on a staircase, whether it is moving or not, you pass on the left, just as one does in a vehicle .