One of our granddaughters started pulling her eyelids at around 9 . We expressed our concern to our son . Shortly after, we were told that our granddaughter was seeing a counselor to address this behavior . We were so relieved when she stopped . But about a year later she started again . Now her 9-year-old brother is pulling hair out of his head . He has a bald spot about two inches in diameter .
I recently brought up the counseling to my son, but he said, "We've tried that.". He indicated the kids will stop on their own
Is stress causing this? How involved should we get ? Right now, we feel like it's the elephant in the room .
Grandparents
Dear Grandparents ,
Trichotillomania is a disorder that results in compulsive hair pulling . It is currently considered to be a "Body-focused repetitive behavior ." There also may be a genetic predisposition, which would explain why both of your grandchildren suffer from it . Sometimes stress, anxiety or fatigue can trigger the hair pulling, but not always .
Doctors do not know the underlying cause but believe it may develop due to a combination of genetic, hormonal , emotional and environmental factors . Appropriate treatment involves cognitive behavorioral therapy , sometimes in combinatoin with medication , hypnosis and relaxation techniques . Your son and his wife may already be taking the necessary steps , but either way , you can get more information through the Trichotillomania Learning Center at trich.org.
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I have been feeling lethargic lately . I know part of it is because I have had very little work , which is depressing . I try so hard, but I work freelance and hardly anybody is hiring . I have had to negotiate payment plans with everybody in my life, it seems . I'm afraid to pick up the phone for fear of another bill collector calling . I find myself sleeping less and waking up late . Soetimes I feel like I'm walking around like a zombie with no energy at all .
Depressed
Dear Depressed ,
It is possible to become depressed when you are short on money and can't figure out how to climb out of a hole . It could also be true that you have underlying health concerns that are making you feel fatigued .
The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to go to the doctor and get a checkup . If you do not have insurance, find a free clinic in your city . Describe your physical and emotional symptoms to a doctor and ask for a complete physical . Diseases such as high blood pressure and diabetes can cause fatigue, as can depression . Find out if you are suffering from an illness . If so, get the help you need .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I have a brother who lives 3,000 miles away from the family . He has lived there for more than 20 years . Though he stays in close touch with my mom, he hardly ever comes home . We invite him to all the holiday meals and special events, but he hasn't come for years . We miss him and love him and want to see him . We were thinking about suggesting that we go out to visit him for the kids break, but I'm worried that he may get upset if he thinks we are crowding his space . How can I appeoach the idea of visiting him as a big family group so that he might consider it ?
Missing my Brother
You didn't say how often or if ever you ar your family members visit your brother, so I don't know what the precedent is currently . I do know that family members who live far away from the core of the family unit often feel isolated . Call your brother . Tell him that you and the family miss him and that you want to visit ... soon . Ask him if all of you can come to visit during spring break . Given that yours is a group of a number of people, you should stay in a hotel so that you don't invade his space without his invitation .
There's a good chance he will say yes . If not, you can tell him that you will love to visit whenever he was available .
Maxy
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