Dear Maxy,
I've considered writing every time I read about some one who thinks their spouse is having an affair . Facebook and other social media have opened the door to secret connections . I didn't fully understand the issue until I found that my husband was communicating with various other women this way .
I never expected this . My husband was an upstanding
professional and we had been married 25 years . When someone gets caught communicating with another and protests that "nothing happened," what they mean is that they aren't yet sexually involved . But a lot has happened . It's a betrayal . Once a husband or wife closes a window to the spouse and opens it to another person, it creates an intimacy .
A better definition of an affair is that it's something that violates trust . My husband and I now work every day to keep those windows open . He finally understands that it's not sex that makes the affair. It's taking your emotional passion and giving it to someone else other than your spouse .
Trusting again
Dear Trusting ,
I agree that trust is the bottom line of any relationship, providing the security and confidence that allow it to survive for the long haul . I am glad that you and your husband managed to work on this together and repair your marriage .
Well done,
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I am 60-years-old and feel that I have accomplished next to nothing . The only worthwhile things are my husband, two children and a lovely granddaughter. They are the lights of my life .
I was let go from a previous job . My current job is awful and it stresses me out . But I have no computer training so a job change is not in the cards . Because my job pays next to nothing , I began charging things on credit . I'm now in deep credit-card debt and am desperate to find the funds to pay it off.
I'm a hard worker, but feel like a useless failure . Don't tell me to see a counselor, because there is no money to pay for it . If my car dies on me, I'll be walking 6 miles to work .
At this time, I thought I'd be better off . Please tell me I can do it .
End of The Line
Dear End,
The quality of your life should not be based solely on your financial situation. Can your husband help pay off this debt ? Surely he would want to be supportive . Also try Debtors Anonymous (debtorsanonymous.org) . For a job, contact your local city hall or state government offices for help . Then Try AARP (aarp.org) , which offers information and resources for senior-friendly companies .
But also, please don't disregard your depression. There is free and low-cost counseling available through your local county services, the YWCA and any graduate school counseling department or medical school psychology department, United Way, the Samaritan Institute (samaritaninstitute.org) and the Abraham Low Self-Help Systems (lowself-helpsystems.org) .
You are appreciated and loved by your family and you will find your way. Don't lose heart.
Maxy
Dear Maxy,
I am a college senior and I am concerned about my upcoming journey into the real world . I am preparing myself to apply for jobs but I am very shy . I have attended job fairs on campus, but when I go, I just briefly greet the recruiter, put my resume on the table and run away . What are some networking tips shy people should keep in mind when approaching recruiters ?
Shy Senior
Dear Shy Senior ,
Keep your focus on your goal . Be clear about the type of job you want . Make sure your resume expresses your interest and your experience . Do your research to find out which recruiters represent jobs in your area of interest . Seek those particular people out as you move through the job fair . It will be easier for you to go to each targeted recruiter rather than feeling like you have to search through an endless sea of people .
When you approach a recruiter, make eye contact and offer a firm handshake . State your name and say that you have looked him /or her up and believe that you might be a good fit for the company .
Having done research in advance shows that you are a strategic thinker and a planner . The recruiter will probably appreciate that and invite you to talk . When you talk, stick to the facts at first . Answer any questions you are asked . As you loosen up share things about yourself that reveal your uniqueness . Follow up with a thank-you note expressing gratitude for the opportunity to meet the recruiter . State that you hope to be considered for the position you discussed . You can do this.
Maxy
PIC,
ReplyDeleteCheck Wag , old stuff .
luv PIC