Random Nonsense

 



Were Adam and Eve even married???  WTF? The bible just collapsed in on itself and disappeared.

...and God, in his infinite wisdom, commanded Noah to take two of every creature onto the Ark...
Even woodworms and woodpeckers.
Brilliant plan.

I can't help but wonder how Bovril happened.
At what point was anyone looking at tea and thinking "This isn't meaty enough."?
 
My friends say I'm too easy to please.
I was delighted when they told me.

Eminem is officially worth $115 million.
I can't wait to hear his next song about how much he hates his life.
  
Why do fat, ugly, hairy women take advantage of innocent, drunk men......and vice versa??

I finally found the true meaning of xmas today.
It's for people who can't spell Christmas.

hypocrisy
noun ( pl. -sies)
the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behaviour does not conform; e.g. forming a website by changing the 'w' in 'Wikipedia' to an 's' and adding a 'c', then complaining about duplication, plagiarism and copyright theft.

It's weird to think that someone may have caught you in the background of their photo while taking a picture of someone else. You are complete strangers to each other but that photo is now framed and sitting on their mantel  and a copy is in the family album. You were just going about your life but now you are somehow a part of this stranger's life, forever connected by a photograph.
Some day, that stranger's child might ask who you are and the man or woman will contemplate your face on his/her mantel and think about that day and wonder where you are now. Weird huh??...Maybe not.

Don't you think Justin Timberlake should create a cereal?...Justin Timberflakes.
Or open a bakery?...Justin Timberbake's
Open a bar and grill?...Justin Timbersteaks
Lipsync a whole concert called....Justin Timberfakes?
How about opening a dance club...Justin Timbershakes' ?
This  whole topic gives my head Justin Timberaches.
I just like the name Justin.  I have a Justin. He is one of my awesome grandsons.

Hung over? Happy New Year!

 

Did Bugles Make a Pun?



 

How come in the obituaries you never read "Died gasping for air and clinging onto the nurses arm with a look of terror on his face" HUH??

We have a handicapped lady in our  neighborhood who rides one of those motorized wheelchairs. She always stops by the house to pet my dog. She looked at my hockey shirt and said ,"I can't understand  why people, who don't play hockey, wear hockey jerseys".
 I said, " I can't understand why people in wheelchairs wear running shoes."

I see posters and ads everywhere telling us to conserve energy. Now we have books that run on batteries or plug into a socket . Nice touch.

I just heard that scientists have discovered that ecstasy could cure cancer.
Well done science geniuses. Now just prove that cocaine cures a cold, alcohol improves driving ability and Rohypnol is a just a harmless natural aphrodisiac that helps women make great decisions ...then I can get my uncle out of prison.

Female logic:  'I'm gonna cut off my eyebrows and draw new ones on with a pencil'.

Now that I am a grandmother I am really enjoying  seeing all the arrogant vain bitches I grew up  with becoming fat and wrinkled. Does that make me a bad girl?



FUN FACT:  The average person will walk past a murderer at least 36 times in their lifetime. Why is that a fun fact?... you ask. It's fun because, obviously, they didn't kill you.

Women and flowers are similar.
They have to be attractive until they get fertilized.
Apparently, it doesn't matter what happens after that.

Yes, breathing, living, eating, having money, and not dying in a horrible way are some things that I'm really glad about.....quite fond of, even.
That doesn't mean I have to yammer on about them or become a fan.

                               

Sometimes I think Brian would like to see me in fishnets...
...Getting dragged along the bottom of the seabed, drowning.

People.
Save time and money by doing things quicker and spending less. Life is more simple than you think.

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

Well...I am all out of smart remarks and nonsense so I will put an interesting nature lesson at the bottom of this post. Goodbye and take care of yourself... no one else will.

  LIFE AND TIMES OF THE PEACOCK SPIDER   

  

 

Great Things Come In Small Packages

 

 

Maratus volans is the scientific name for a tiny jumping spider that packs a lot of punch. This colorful spider sizes in at a mere  0.1 inch or 2.54 millimeters long!  Though small in stature, this diminutive arachnid’s presence is larger than life. The peacock spider, gets his name from his colorful abdomen that he raises over its head and shakes during a mating ritual. The shaking, vibrating, grooving, and jiving resembles a tribal dance of epic proportions.  Even more incredible than his dance moves are his jumping abilities. This pee-wee can hop up to 40 times his body length!

Shake what your momma gave you little guy! I wonder if after he busts some moves he gets the girl spider.