People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck .
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have.
This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.
I resolve to stay sooo drunk all through 2014, that if vampires bite my neck they'll get a Bloody Mary.
I'm planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2014.
My New Years Resolution is to break my New Years Resolutions....That way I can succeed at something!
Did you know that the New Year was created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
Resolutions be damned! I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.
My 2014 resolution is for everyone else to gain the 50 pounds I refuse to lose.
There have been many times in 2013, when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, and bugged the hell out of you....I just wanna say....I plan to continue that in 2014!