Thursday, July 18, 2013
Ask Maxy
Dear Maxy,
A few years ago , my wife and I retired and moved to a new home . We are friendly , helpful and generous, especially with good food and hospitality . But our neighbors have never reciprocated with so much as a cookie and we have never been invited to their homes .
We all get along well enough but I have asked my wife not to make extra dishes for them any longer . I'm disappointed with the manners of the younger folks who don't seem to understand reciprocity .
Southern Golden Oldie
Dear Southern ,
Some people are reluctant to to entertain in their homes but you certainly do not have to keep putting forth the effort if there is no reciprocity of any kind . There's no point in being resentful . You can have a perfectly cordial relationship with these neighbors without baking pies and inviting them for cookies .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My roommate and I wanted to get a dog together because our apartment was lonely .We ended up getting a cute little sheepdog , but I am allergic to him . He is so cute and I do not want to get rid of him but my alleergies are killing me . I feel it is not fair to my roommate to not have the dog just because of me . I have started an over-the-counter allergy regimen , which helps a little , but I don't know how long I can go always waking up stuffy .
Allergic
Dear Allergic ,
Too bad you did not realize you were allergic from the start . Since you agreed to get the dog, it is best for you to do all you can to figure out if you can live with it . Start by going to the doctor . There may be something more potent than over-the-counter allergy medication .
You and your roommate should also be vigilant about vacuuming and dusting and remember to vacuum the furniture. Sheepdogs have long hair that sheds . Do your best to limit the amount of dander that lingers in the air .To achieve that you have to clean constantly . An air cleaner will help too. You should keep your bedroom off-limits to the dog . Close the door and putting an air cleaner in your room also would be beneficial. You can also limit how much you touch the dog . You can be kind and loving without a lot of petting, even though it may seem hard to do .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My brother is dating my ex-girlfriend and while I told him it was OK and that it didn't bother me, it does . I don't have feeling for her or anything but I feel odd knowing that my little brother is dating her . They look happy together and I do not want to say anything to my brother that will upset him or make him break up with her just because of me .
Misgivings
Dear Misgivings ,
It is only natural for it to be tough for someone you love to date someone you once dated, especially if you and the former girlfriend were close. On the one hand , it was big of you to give your brother permission to date her . Even more , it was respectful of your brother to ask you . Still, that doesn't change the reality that you are dealing with today .
Seeing their relationship play out in real life must be difficult, at least at first . I do not think you should say anything to your brother . Instead , live your life . If you are dating someone, focus your energy on that relationship rather than your brother's. Stay in the moment and resist obsessing over what your brother and she are doing .
Be kind and cordial to her when she is around . Decide that you will be able to accept them as a couple . Over time, you should be able to make that happen .
Maxy
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