Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My boyfriend  and I have been together for about five months . He works from 3p.m. to 11p.m. , I've been friends with his brother  for five years  and with his sister-in-law  for 20 years . His brother and I almost dated a few years ago  and his sister-in-law and my boyfriend dated in the past . Every time I go over to their house to hang out with them  while he's at work , he seems to get upset  about it . They have children around my daughter's age, so she can play with her friends . I've asked him what his problem  is with me  going over  when he's at work and he said he doesn't have a problem with it . I don't go over when he's home because I want us to have alone time . I'm not sure whether to see them anymore  or not .
Torn
Dear Torn ,
Ir sounds like  your combined relationships with your boyfriend's family are layered, to say the least . Your boyfriend  may consciously be a bit concerned  that your being at their home without him may may lead to some kind of intimacy . Is that a fair concern ? Who knows ?
Out of respect to him, you should honor his wishes and not go over there right now . Instead, go with him the next time you are  together . Even though it seems  counterintuitive, it isn't . Give up a little alone time to spend  as a family with your daughter and all of them . Let your boyfriend  get comfortable  around everyone . Once he feels at ease, he may change his mind about being OK with you going there without him .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am totally freaked out . One of my main clients has not paid my company in several months and I fear that I am not going  to be able to make payroll  soon . I have been doing everything in my power  to make  up for this owed money , but my reserves  have become too thin . How long  do I wait  before I let my staff know  that things are bad .
On The  Brink
Dear On The Brink ,
It is time to figure out  your immediate next steps . If you think you will not be able to make payroll now , let your staff know . They have  bills  and responsibilities  and will need to respond accordingly . If  you can't afford to keep everyone of your staff , it may be better to lay off personnel as you shore up your resources  . That way  they can collect unemployment insurance  and take realistic steps  to care for themselves . Leaving people in limbo is unkind  and not good for your business .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I am feeling overwhelmed . I have so much to do that it seems almost  pointless to try anything . I am weighed down by piles  of debt . My home is in disarray . My income is spotty  and my friends are tired of hearing  me complain . Recently, I have taken to my bed . I just go to sleep in the middle of the day  to shut it all out . What can I do to turn myself around ?
Afraid
Dear Afraid ,
It can seem overwhelming when so much is standing in your way . Yet it is possible  to get to a better  place . Start by making a list . You can write topics  to organize your list . For example, one topic is bills, another is home, another is personal . Under each write  what needs  to get done . Figure out small tasks that add up to fulfilling each goal . You can list each creditor  you owe  on a separate line . Then contact  each one to say you need extra time  to pay your bills and ask for mercy . Then speak to an advisor at your bank and  see if you can get your debts consolidated and let them lay out a budget for you to follow. In your home, list each room  that requires your attention . Then make a sub-list under each room of the chores that need doing. Choose a day for work on one chore at a time . If you approach each task as one thing to do rather than viewing the whole job, you make your work more manageable and avoid the stress of too large a burden . Don't rush; it took you a long time to get to this state and it will take time and patience to sort it out. You can do this. Write to me again in a few weeks.
Maxy