Saturday, February 28, 2009
Welcome back Jer
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thank God,Times Change
Her attitude towards sex seemed to be,that it was just another service to be performed for one's husband.You closed your eyes and recited the lord's prayer or perhaps,made out your shopping list.There are guys who would definitely like those days to return.The men I know personally,are a little more enlightened and enjoy the views women hold today(although occaisonally,they wouldn't mind a little taste of the past).
That was my dad's mother.My mom's mother was a whole different animal.I'll tell her story another time.My mom's major influence,however, was her grandmother who was also very old school.Mom was a very successful career woman,who tried to shake off the moral and social shackles and outdated notions of the previous generation.She tried too hard to be liberal.In spite of that,the old influence left a few echoes that even I could hear sometimes.
She wanted me to follow my dreams and have a successful career,but also get married.She felt that women should be married.There was that residual feeling that she couldn't completely make it on her own merit.She was struggling to do a man's job in a man's world,and not getting equal pay for it.Being married seemed to be her armour against unwanted sexual advances in the business world and insurance in case she failed.
By the time I grew up,marriage and kids was a personal choice.The first priority was trying to decide what to do with your life.The next priority was dating with marriage as a possible option.When we did marry ,we shared responsibility.
My daughter's generation took it a bit further.They much prefer to live together to see how that works out.Marriage is a much bigger step than it used to be.Everyone works.They have more money than we used to and advance in life more quickly.They buy a house sooner(present economy notwithstanding).They have children when they are older.They feel that they are complete equals and so far,no one's tits have fallen off.
"Sizzling Seniors"
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Octuplet Mom....The Saga Continues
I think so....Nadya is ignoring her mother's objections and the public .
outrage.The baby machine is giving her mom nightmares.Nadya's mom says she has nightmares that Nadya will have more babies.
Nadya couldn't cope with raising the first six and I had to step in...now I am worn out.
One doctor who had studied her case,but had not met her,says Nadya is addicted to having babies...and he doesn't think she can stop now unless she has her tubes tied.
The single mom began her baby farm while receiving disability benefit payments after being hurt during a riot at the mental hospital where she worked.
Nadya used frozen embryos she had with her former boyfriend to get pregnant almost every year.
Nadya says the man who contributed the sperm for her fourteen(14) children did so because he was in love with her.The man is now married.Nadya is convinced he still in love with her.Nadya says she could get him back at anytime...and could use him again as a sperm donor if she wanted.I for one think Nadya missed out on the fun /joy of making those babies.......stay tuned ....the saga continues........
http://jsouth@nationalenquirer.com/
It Never Happened
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Help Me and My Family
So You've Had a Bad Day
A psychology student in New York,rented out her spare room to a carpenter,in order to study his reactions to constant nagging.After weeks of needling he beat her repeatedly with an axe and left her brain damaged for life.I guess her experiment worked.
Two animal rights activists were protesting and picketing outside a slaughter house in Bonn,against the cruelty of the methods of slaughtering pigs.Suddenly two thousand panicked pigs broke through a fence and trampled the two protesters to death.That's gratitude for you.
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal,after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was about $80,000.At a special ceremony,two of the seals were released back into the wild,amid cheers and applause.Moments later they were both eaten by a killer whale.Truth.
Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored for 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions.He took the only manuscript to have it copied,only to have it reduced to 50,000 shreds in a few seconds,when a worker mistook a paper shredder for a copier.Poor Ulf.
Iraqui terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.It came back with"return to sender"stamped on it.Apparently,forgetting it was a bomb,he opened it and blew himself to bits.True story.
According to the British Sunday Express,John Bloor mistook a tube of super glue for hemorroid cream and glued his buttocks together.I can foresee a particular problem Mr Bloor.
Also a Brit;Henry Smith was arrested a few minutes after returning home with a stolen stereo.I guess he had forgotten he had his name proudly tatooed on his forehead.
Mike Robinson,according to the British Sunday Express,called the police to deliver a bomb threat and got so agitated at the mounting cost of the call,he screamed,"Call me back,"and then gave them his number.
As her tearful family gathered around her coffin,in a New York funeral parlor,Julia Carson sat bolt upright and asked,what the hell was going on.Celebrations were short lived ,as her daughter dropped dead from shock.
Fire investigators in Maue determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a beautiful home last month was a short in the home owner's newly installed fire prevention and alarm system."This is even worse than last year",said the distraught home owner,"when someone broke in and stole my new security system."
These are all true stories.So you see,your day wasn't so bad.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
"COOKING" with "CUPCAKE"
Putting a new twist on "HOMEMADE CAKE"
1 pkg.(2 layer size)cake mix,any flavor
1 envelope of "DREAM WHIP"...whipped topping mix
4 eggs
1 1/3 cup cold water
1/3 cup of oil
(prep: 10 minutes......bake :30/40 minutes/until done)
Heat oven to 350'f.....2 (round in.cake pans.....bunt pan...cupcake pans/etc.)
put all ingredients a bowl,mix on low speed with electric mixer until moisted.beat on high speed for 3 minutes at high speed...pour into prepared pans...cool completely...frost cake with your favorite icing......ENJOY...
The "Dream Whip" is found in the "Jello" section of your market/grocery store,if you can't find it ..."ask"........
I found this recipe years ago,I have a lot of them that I will share with you....we are so busy these days....I love giving my family homemade foods...(GIGGLES) I think they know...
You are going to get to know my Canadian friend and myself very well...we are full of surprises...stick around....if there is anything special you want to know...advice/recipes ,don't be afraid to ask......until next time.....Cupcake...give me a holler.
A Widerness Adventure
How I loved camping as a kid,the rougher,the better.Now,of course,I go nowhere without modern plumbing,comfortable beds and a handy mall,close by.As a ten year old tom boy,I didn't care if I was clean behind the ears or if my clothes looked like they had been slept in.They had.As for plumbing,no problem if there was a lake or stream close by and some bushes to crouch behind.I communed with nature,talked to the animals and got filthy.
One of our favorite places for a camping holiday was Rock Lake,in Algonquin Park,a huge widlife reserve in Ontario.It was a beautiful lake surrounded by hills and tall pine trees.The campground was a large grassy field with scattered trees and no amenities but two old outhouses,which my mother and aunt scrubbed with bleach every day.Back then,there were very few campers there.I liked it that way.I took a canoe out on the lake every day,no supervision,no life jacket.What were my parents thinking?I thought the freedom was heavenly.
The rangers used to check on us regularly.There were a lot of bears,wolves,lynx,cougers and stags in the area,all potentially dangerous.I guess the 'smokeys'(as we called them) just wanted to count heads.
One old ranger used to come every evening to check on the safety of our campfires.He would often stay for an alcoholic beverage and tell us stories of people lost in the forest,others attacked by bears,always horrific.I loved the stories.
One very hot day,I was canoeing and looking for a shady spot to rest,before paddling home.I noticed a small inlet of some kind and decided to investigate.It turned out to be the mouth of a fairly wide stream, a perfect place to explore.I paddled up the stream into the trees and the cool shade of the woods.It was
beautiful and green and dappled with sunlight in the forest and the steam continued until it disappeared around a bend.I paddled on,an intrepid explorer.I noticed the stream was narrowing.
As I rounded the bend,the canoe struck something.It was a tree root.I extricated myself quite skillfully,I thought.Then I glanced up to see a large black bear,blocking the stream,about fifteen feet in front of me.
I froze.If a bear could look startled,he did.His face was wet.Water was dripping off his snout.He didn't move. Every terrifying tale I had heard around the campfire flitted through my mind.I felt my bowels loosen. I wanted to shout for my dad.It felt like my heart had jumped into my throat.I could feel it pounding.
I couldn't breathe.I could not form a coherent thought.Then,the bear moved and instinct kicked in.
Very slowly and carefully I placed my paddle into the water without making a splash.I levered the canoe backward just a little.I saw no agression,so I moved it a little more.He made a huffing sound.I stopped and sat perfectly still.He was still watching.
He slewed his head to one side and seemed to be looking at something else.I took the opportunity to move backwards again and again and once more.I was now around the bend,thankfully without catching that root. I couldn't hear anything,so I started back paddling,as softly as I could,then faster and faster till I got a fair distance from the bend,then switched seats to face forward.I paddled like a bat out of hell until I broke from the trees into the sunlight.
I didn't feel safe until I got out into the middle of the lake.I headed for home and the tears started to flow and I started to tremble.I got back to camp,ran to our tent, threw myself onto my cot and cried my heart out.My parents were astounded when they heard and forbade me,somewhat too late,to go out in the canoe again.I didn't,at least for the rest of that holiday.When we came back the next year, I had become one of the stories,the old'smokey'told around the campfires.
Monday, February 23, 2009
My Great-Grandmother The Madame Part 1
You ready O.K. let's go.
This is in the 1800's I am told.....her name is Josie T. tall willowy woman with large tits /hips....brownish/blonde hair,the mother of 4 boys...ranging in age 3/9....she lost her husband to a sickness,we have no idea what kind.. she had no sisters/brothers or family in New Orleans.La,she was from somewhere in France...all she had was her boys and the plantation called the "JOSIE T".
The house was huge,lots of rooms....Josie talked with some of the ladies in the same situation as she was,the plantation was close to the Gulf...the sailors and and town men could easily find their way there for a good time.Many a times the wives came looking for their hubby's,they would jumping out windows some with no clothes on...hahaha
Josie and the ladies recruited a lot of big butt/tittie women.
Josie also recruited the mulattoes and there kids,after all everyone knew they were her husband's kids...a very good looking bunch I have been told....I have heard all my life you are what you eat.....I know for a fact you are who did the nasty in your family....I admire the ladies back then...they was very good at hiding their feeling...Not I,no sir.
We are not sure if Josie was whoring,I think she sold a little tail....you have a business,you have to get involved,after all she had two (2) more boys.....my dad is the grand son of Josie last child the girl, we have been told she was a kind hearted and a very free spirit,really loved life.
Of course Josie's husband's brothers got in the mix,that's a story for another time,(the boot-leggers)
The men had their special ladies,if they didn't pay...they got a free one way trip to the bayou to visit the gators (GIGGLES) there were gala parties.....business got so good Josie open two (2) more houses of ill repute.....she divided the ladies up between the three(3) houses,she kept the mulattoes that was born on the plantation with her,after all they were her family...her hubby's children,her kids sisters/brothers....I guess she wanted to keep all her hubby's pussies together...The men came from everywhere.....the ships would make sure they pulled in the Port of New Orleans.....One captain would stay with Josie,when he was in town,you wouldn't see her until he left port...Guess what Josie had a baby girl....boy I am glad....I might still be a tadpole wiggling in some man's dangle.hahahaha Just giving you a preview the good stuff will come...we are told Josie was a horny bitch...that I believe,hell all my family is some horny bastards.....to be continued....
My Friend
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Lifted-My Favorite Pixar
Saturday, February 21, 2009
"To A Fallen Comrade"We called friend
Global Warming Protest
Friday, February 20, 2009
Guess Who Froze His Toes in Canada???
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Educate the Loon!
Well, it happened yesterday . Resident nutcase and owner of looney central, Sara, threw a stone at Keyser. It didn't take long and Keyser buried her under a landslide of (verbal) rocks.
Sara - eager to explain Odysses to better educated people - made a few huge bloopers. So huge that Keyser felt the need to rebuke her.
LOON SARA:
For those whose required reading never included Homer's Odyssey, a google search will provide as little or as much background you will need. Written around 8 B.C., the Odyssey is a mythological adventure whose protagonist is Odysseus........
KEYSER:
Well, this just goes to show that a little Google does not in fact go a long way. Or at least not if you can't understand simple information. First off, the Odyssey is not a "mythological adventure" (whatever that may be), but an epic poem. It was not written around "8 B.C.," and only a person with absolutely no knowledge of the ancient world could say such errant nonsense. The Odyssey was written in a tradition of oral poetry that goes back to the Mycenean Age, but was apparently drawn up in its final form in something like 750 B.C., that is in the eighth century B.C. So, the Loon is off by only about eight hundred years. Certainly says something about the keen analytical skills of this arch-hunter of David Caruso stalkers...
@
BINGO....That is just too good to miss. I know, fellow alumni Jeannie and Cupcake will chuckle upon so much stupidity from Sara. Needless to say, dumb dr. dodo rushed to Sara's defense - to no avail. No use to to lock the stable door after the horse has bolted, sweet cheeksa.
No wonder, that they call David Caruso Icon of Idiocy.
*
http://keysersozeslair.blogspot.com/2009/02/keyser-is-hero-odysseus.html
What Do We Know About Men?What Do They Know About Us?
We know that men are all about action.They would rather show you how much they love you,than talk about it.If they see a problem,they want to fix it,not discuss it.
Heart to heart discussions disturb them,even frighten them.They are not equipped for them.They have a problem accessing their emotions and displaying them.As for discussing them in detail,they find that horrifying.
They can separate emotions from sex.Sex is just sex.They don't understand why they can't just fuck you without making it anything more than that.
They have a problem saying,"I love you".It's that accessing thing,but they will move furniture around for you,paint the kitchen,put gas in your car and run to the store to get you some soda.In their minds,that's saying," I love you."
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Life At The Edge
GWB's new challenge
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Hell Won't Freeze Over as Long as......
Nuts-and-Bolts
For the video go to: http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/17/northwest-flight-attendants-nuts-over-penises/
Monday, February 16, 2009
Winter By Sam
Bluff package
Sunday, February 15, 2009
WI-FI sharing
Bite Me
I am reasonably intelligent,well educated,and do passably well at most things.So,why do I let it defeat me and make me want to throw it against the wall?Because it's inanimate,you can't reason with it.One tends to forget ;thinking the computer is all powerful and can anticipate our every wish and correct our mistakes.No!It just does exactly what one tells it to do.
Even when you make foolish mistakes and give bad commands,it does what you tell it.When it can't perform the task,it will politely tell you so and stop functioning.No amount of begging or threatening can make it change it's mind,and stubborness always irritates me.
Some people don't have a technological bone in their bodies.I'm one of them.I can do other things,but understanding technology is like looking at ancient Sanskrit;just a bunch of confusing symbols and gobbledy-gook.There are computer books for dummies.I have them.I've read them and didn't understand a lot of it.So there's no help for me.I'll just have to keep replacing the mouses I throw against the wall when I cuss.
At least the damn thing doesn't swear at me or throw stuff back.So,if this post is not square or the graphics are a bit lopsided...BITE ME!!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Smile of the day
Cute..
*
Source: http://www.sidewalkdriving.com/2009/02/your-moment-of-zen-23.html
Friday, February 13, 2009
Passing Fifty
You learn that the most important things in life are family,friends,a little security,being the best you can be and maybe doing a little good in the world.
You tend to take stock of yourself in a different way.If you have a little middle aged spread,you might say,"I am not over weight.I am a nutritional over achiever.I am in good shape.Round is a good shape."
I always say to my daughters,"brain cells come and brain cells go,but fat cells stay forever,so practice safe eating,girls,always use condiments."
You definitely get comfortable with your body,comfortable in your own skin,even if it sags a little.Life may begin at forty but it certainly starts to show at fifty.Time is a great healer,but it's a lousy beautician.Still,I don't get frantic over a little cellulite and a few grey hairs.You must accept me as I am or you
will bounce the needle on my,'Give-a-Fuck-O-Meter'.
You do get a little philosophical as you pass fifty and your conscience bothers you more,because somehow,you've picked up a few scruples and deeply ingrained principles along the way.Here's a bit of philosophy;'conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.'
I've also learned,'there will always be death and taxes,however,unlike taxes,death doesn't get worse every year.'
Ah,yes,the wisdom I've acquired.It's frustrating when you know all the
answers,but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
Youth is gone and middle age is humming along nicely.I plan on living forever.
So far,so good.If it turns out I don't,well,it's just a couple of blips on my,'Give-a-Fuck-O-Meter'.