Thursday, April 09, 2015

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My family has a history of hypertension and high blood pressure . I recently went to a doctor for my annual checkup and she was please with my overall physical health , however , she told me my blood pressure was a bit high for her liking . My doctor told me that I would need to add an exercise regimen into an already busy schedule . 
Releasing the Pressure 
Dear Releasing  The Pressure ,
Health challenges  such as  yours  require a lifestyle  change  in order  for  you  to stay healthy ... or  even alive .  Yes , this  may seem daunting , but  it  is  true . High Blood  blood pressure  is  called "the  silent killer" because  it  commonly  has  minimal  symtoms ,  yet it  can  and  has  caused  stokes in the thousands  of  unknowing victims . Doctors  do suggest  that exercise , healthy eating  and weight  loss can  significantly  reduce  or  even eliminate  high blood  pressure  ... in some  people .  Even if  high blood pressure  doesn't  go away , these  things  are  good  for  you . 
Will it  be hard  to add  daily movement  into a tight  schedule,  that did not  previously include physical activity ? Sure . You have  to decide  that your  life is  worth living  . Once you do , get support by  joining  a walking group , a  gym , Weight Watchers or  some  other  group  activity  that will keep  you  sincere  about   your developing  routine . 

Dear Maxy 
My boyfriend called me to tell me about his long-distance "girlfriend" -- I say that loosely because he has seen her only once . He told his phone friend that he is seeing someone in the same city he lives in and she was not pleased with my man's confession . She insisted that he dissolve our relationship immediately , but I was so happy that he did not listen to her . Going forward , how can we continue to reinforce out relationship ? I like what we have together . 
Budding relationship 
Dear Budding Relationship,
It's  a good  sign  that your  boyfriend  told  you about  his  phone  relationship . Find  out  more  from him  about  what  this  woman  means  to him  and  whether  he  intends  to stay in touch with her . Express  to him  how  much you are  enjoying the  time you are  spending  together . Make  it  clear  to him  that  you want  to see how  your  relationship  blossoms  and  that you are  excited  about  the  possibilities  . Add that  you  do not  want   to be  in the  middle  of  another  relationship . Ask him directly  if  he  is  finished  with this  woman  and  if  he  chooses  to be  with you .

Dear Maxy ,
I live in an apartment building with pretty thin walls . There is always noise coming from somewhere . Recently , an upstairs neighbor started singing every afternoon around the same time I come home from work . And you guessed it , she can't sing a lick ! Plus she is loud as all-get out . It's nuts . I know it is her right to sing , but I can't find a moment of peace now , what with hearing her acting like she about to go on stage . What can I do ?
Killing me loudly 
Dear  Killing  me  Loudly ,
You can make  a detour  on your  way  home  from work  and  buy  a  white  noise  machine . This  should  help diminish  the  sound  of  the  noise  coming  from above .  you can also delay   your  arrival  by  doing  someting  fun . If  you show  up later,  you may miss this  concert  and  discover  a new  hobby  at the  same  time . If  she  persists  past  your  breaking  point ,  you can knock on  her  door   and  very kindly ask  her  if  she  could  put  a  rug  on the  floor directly  above   you so  it can absorb some  of  the  noise .

Dear Maxy ,
I have a 30-year-old son "Brad" was the prefect child , loving and affectionate until the age of 16 .
That's when I divorced my drug-addicted husband . I sheltered the children as much as I could from what their father was doing. 
When I transferred Brad to a public school , he got involved in drugs , quit school , became verbally abusive , did a stint in jail and more . I remarried a wonderful man who showed Brad nothing but love . Any disciplining was done by me . 
When I found out Brad was doing drugs at age 21 , I kicked him out the house . He abused steroids and who know what else . 
He blames me for the way he is because I kicked out . He claims no mother would do that . I told him it's "tough love" and that I refuse to watch him destroy himself .
I have not spoken to Brad in 5 months . Christmas and my birthday has come and gone with no acknowledgement . My heart is just so broken . Should I reach out to him or let him figure out life on his own ? Do I wish him a happy birthday next month ? I don't know what to do any more .
Brokenhearted Mom 
Dear  Brokenhearted ,
Tough love  can also  be  tough  on the  parents . You did  nothing  wrong by expecting your  adult  son to  move out of the  house .
Even kids  who  are  not  abusing  drugs  ought  to leave  the  nest  by then . Brad  finds  it  easier  to blame  you for  what is  wrong  with his life  than to accept  responsibility  for  his  own actions .
Until  he  figures  it  out , all you can do  is  wait  and  hope .  But  you can send  him a  birthday  card   and  also  find support  from others  in  your  situation   through ... Because  I  Love  You  at  (  )  Good  Luck  .

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