Ask Maxy

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am a 58-year-old  male . Ever since  my early 20's I've been confused  about which sex  I truly am . Of course I was  born a male, but my thoughts and  feelings are that of a female . There is nothing  about being a male that interests  me . I'm thinking  of getting  hormone shots to become more female .
I've lived  with this issue  all my life, but maybe it's  to late  for me now . Do you  have any suggestions or information ?
Unknown  Gender
Dear Unknown ,
It is not to late  for you  to work on this, and I  recommend  you get  more information before starting  hormone shots .
You can find resources  and support  through  the Lesbian, Gay , Bisexual and  Transgender  Community Center  (gaycenter.org) and the American Psychological Association  (apa.org), which can answer  many of  your  questions  and point  you in  the right  direction .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I have  been romantically  interested  in a  girl for about  six months . We have a lot in common and I feel more connected  to her  than I have anyone else . I think we would make a great couple . Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend . I still flirt  with her  on occasion . She doesn't  tell me to stop, but she  also  doesn't reciprocate, even though  I've told her my feelings . Should I give up  hope  of us  being  together  and  try to be  just friends, or  should I pursue  the  matter further  ?
Flirty
Dear Flirty ,
If  you are seriously  interested  in this  young lady , select one  more occasion  to make  your intentions known  to her . Tell her  you know she has a boyfriend  and you do  not want to be  disrespectful  of their relationship . For this  reason you want to be  clear  with her one more time before  backing  off . Tell her you care deeply  for her and want to have a chance  to prove it to her . Say  that you think  she would be happier  with you , and be prepared  to enumerate  your  reasons  for thinking this .
 
Ask her  if she is willing  to end her relationship  so  she can be free to be with you . If  she says  no or if she says  nothing, that is  your  cue to walk  away . You should not  continue to  flirt  with her . You should be respectful and  keep your distance . If, however, she says  she wants  to give  a relationship with you a chance, tell her  you will give her  space  to make a clean break  from her boyfriend, after which,  you will be waiting  for her . Then step back  until she is ready .
Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,
My boyfriend  and I have  gotten serious  in recent  months . We have even begun to talk about  getting  married . I love him and I know  he loves me . But we do not practice the same religion .
I go to church every Sunday, plus  I am involved  in other activities  in my church . He has  come a few  times  and is quite  respectful , but he is  Jewish  and  is actively involved in his temple. We  have not told our parents  about our religious  differences . They like the  two of  us as a couple, but regardless of  what they say, we aren't  sure  how to handle a marriage if we have kids . Should I give up before  we get  too involved ?
The  Great Divide
Dear The Great Divide ,
Couples  have  been  known to work even when  they do  not share the same  religion . It  definitely  takes  some effort  and clarification  on both your  parts as  to what shared  values  you have, what you will teach  any children you may have and how  you will navigate both religions . You need  to come to terms  before talking to  your  parents  . Seek the counsel of spiritual advisers  for support .
Maxy