Dear Maxy ,
My sister's daughter-in-law is pregnant with her first child, and my sister is in a dilemma about whether or not to host a baby shower . Her son and daughter-in-law never come to any family functions, and his wife has never attended any family bridal and baby showers. I seriously doubt that any family members would recognize her if they passed her on the street .
Is it tacky to have a baby shower and invite family members that really don't know her ?
Baby Shower Dilemma
Dear Dilemma ,
Technically, showers should not be given by immediate family members (e.g. , grandma-to-be). Nonetheless, I know many people do this anyway . A shower is about providing for the child . Your sister wants to do something nice for her daughter-in-law and ensure a good relationship with her new grandchild . It's OK to invite family members and those that don' wish to attend (for any reason) can RSVP that they won't be there .
Maxy
Dear Maxy,
My mother recently came to visit me at college and took my boyfriend and me out to dinner . After we finished eating, we sat across the table from my mother and had a post dinner conversation . I put my arm around his neck and began playing with his ear . I did not think anything of it . But my mother stared across the table shocked . After we dropped off my boyfriend , my mother told me that ear fondling is not appropriate in public . I like public displays of affection , and I do not see why that little gesture would make people around us uncomfortable .
PDAs Texas
Dear PDAs,
The person that was uncomfortable was your mother, likely because that "little gesture" suggests intimacy, something that may be difficult for your mother to accept is part of your life . Out of respect for your mother, refrain from touching your boyfriend in front of her . In general, read the room where you are and the people around you to determine what public displays of affections will be welcome and act accordingly .
Maxy
Dear Maxy,
I am scared . I went to a party with a bunch of my college buddies , and we all got crazy drunk . I ended up sleeping with one of the guys at the party . I am so embarrassed . I didn't know him at all . I don't even know his name . Now I'm freaked out . I can't believed how stupid I was . My friends and I haven't mentioned anything about the party or what we did . Should I just act like nothing happened ?
Scared Sober
Dear Scared Sober,
The smartest thing you can do is talk to your friends and to go to a doctor . Tell them that you think it would be good for you to discuss what happened and how to make sure it doesn't happen again . Engaging in reckless behavior as a group and then pretending it away makes the action even more reckless because it can easily be repeated . Agree that you will not make such a dangerous set of mistakes in the future . They may be as freaked as you are and I am sure they will agree.
By all means , go to the doctor and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases . You may also want to get a pregnancy test, just to be sure of your status . Encourage your friends to do the same .
Maxy
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