Thursday, December 12, 2013

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am upset with my job , I have seniority  and I am single . I just learned  that a woman who is my junior  was granted  a lengthy Christmas vacation  when I was  not granted my request for one . I believe  she was given  preference  because she  has a family with small children . I have earned my time off  and I thought  that if you  were more senior, you should be given  preferential treatment  . I asked for my time off  months ago, so it's not like  it was a last-minute  request . How can I appeal  this without sounding petty?
Feeling Dissed
Dear Feeling Dissed ,
Go to your manager  and ask about your vacation . Inquire  as to why  you were not given  the time you requested . Point out when you made  your request . If you do not feel satisfied  with the answer  you are given, bring up your colleague . Note that she is your junior and that you feel slighted  that she would be given  the time  when  you doubt she asked for it first  and you have  seniority . You can also  ask if she was given  the time because  she has a family . Understand that if this is the case, it would be considered  discrimination .

Dear Maxy ,
The letter  from "Family Ties" struck a cord  with me . The daughter  wanted her mother  to start  hosting  Christmas  dinner  again after a 15-year hiatus . You agreed with the daughter  that siblings  and cousins  could offer to clean  and be responsible   for cooking  and therefore, convince her mother  into holding  it at her house again .
It's high time  for one of the younger  people jump in and host  this event . Their homes  may not be as large  ... so what ? Family doesn't mind  being crowded  together .
As a young wife  and mother 45 years ago . I had to beg my husband's family  to allow us  to host thanksgiving . We hosted all the family holidays  as the elder members  were lost  to nursing homes  or death . Give Mom her due .
Pushing 70

Dear pushing 70 ,
I understand  your position  and it makes  sense that  family tradition  is passed  from one  generation  to the next . My understanding  of "Family  Ties"  was that  the mother  was the glue  in the family  and not everyone  was getting together  because the mom was no longer  hosting  the meal . My idea was  a  compromise  ... the young ones  could prepare the meals  at  mom's house .
Sometimes a hybrid  idea can work . But that does  not negate  your point, that the young  families  should take  the baton  and continue  the traditions  leaving  a seat of honor  for the older  folks  while accepting  the responsibility  for the celebration .

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