Thursday, December 12, 2013
Dear Maxy ,
I am upset with my job , I have seniority and I am single . I just learned that a woman who is my junior was granted a lengthy Christmas vacation when I was not granted my request for one . I believe she was given preference because she has a family with small children . I have earned my time off and I thought that if you were more senior, you should be given preferential treatment . I asked for my time off months ago, so it's not like it was a last-minute request . How can I appeal this without sounding petty?
Dear Feeling Dissed ,
Go to your manager and ask about your vacation . Inquire as to why you were not given the time you requested . Point out when you made your request . If you do not feel satisfied with the answer you are given, bring up your colleague . Note that she is your junior and that you feel slighted that she would be given the time when you doubt she asked for it first and you have seniority . You can also ask if she was given the time because she has a family . Understand that if this is the case, it would be considered discrimination .
Dear Maxy ,
The letter from "Family Ties" struck a cord with me . The daughter wanted her mother to start hosting Christmas dinner again after a 15-year hiatus . You agreed with the daughter that siblings and cousins could offer to clean and be responsible for cooking and therefore, convince her mother into holding it at her house again .
It's high time for one of the younger people jump in and host this event . Their homes may not be as large ... so what ? Family doesn't mind being crowded together .
As a young wife and mother 45 years ago . I had to beg my husband's family to allow us to host thanksgiving . We hosted all the family holidays as the elder members were lost to nursing homes or death . Give Mom her due .
Dear pushing 70 ,
I understand your position and it makes sense that family tradition is passed from one generation to the next . My understanding of "Family Ties" was that the mother was the glue in the family and not everyone was getting together because the mom was no longer hosting the meal . My idea was a compromise ... the young ones could prepare the meals at mom's house .
Sometimes a hybrid idea can work . But that does not negate your point, that the young families should take the baton and continue the traditions leaving a seat of honor for the older folks while accepting the responsibility for the celebration .