Dear MaxyI am married  to a wonderful guy  who has a daughter by his ex-girlfriend  . I have not met my stepdaughter . Her mother has full custody  and won't allow  my husband access.
I am older than my husband  by three years . I want to have a child  . Before we married, my husband and I talked about  having kids . We talked about it last December  and we agreed  that it was time to start  a family . Here's the problem : He has  now decided  he's not ready . I work in  the maternity ward of a local hosiptal, and I see complications  older women  can have  with pregnancy and delivery . I am getting  close to that age . I want to have a healthy  pregnancy and child, but the longer we wait  the harder it will be . My feeling  is that one  is never "ready" for kids, but you make  the sacrifices  to have something  so amazing in your life .
I have asked my husband  why the sudden change  in attitude, his only response  is "I don't know." I'm getting  tired of that but when I say so, he replies,"I feel ya ." I don't want to force him to have a baby but I want a family  and am getting tired of his excuses . I love my husband but this is driving me crazy . How can  I find out  what is really bothering  him and get  him on  the same page again ?Marcia

Dear Marcia,
Whether or not  to have children  is one of those non-negotiable issues  that can break  up a marriage. Your husband  is being evasive  and seems uninterested  in the idea  of children . I wonder why he hasn't  fought harder  to be a part of his daughter's life . If having a child is crucial to you, your husband needs to know  that you are willing  to leave  the marriage in order  to find  a more cooperative  partner . Frankly , I'm not sure  he will make an effort to stop you . I think further efforts to convince him to have a family may well be fruitless and waste more of the biological window left to you.
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I have worked in the restaurant industry  all of my life . Our place is near a clinic . It is one thing to leave  gum under table, but I'm amazed  at the number  of people who leave  their used bandages, cotton and surgical tape . They just put it on their plate and expect us  to dispose  of it . YUCK.
I understand  that these people are coming  to eat after  having procedures done and I  am grateful for their business . But would it be to much  to ask that  they dispose  of these medical bandages  in the bathroom  garbage ? It's pretty  disgusting  to have these things  on the table .
A Waitress

Dear Waitress ,
We agree. Since  you get a lot  of clinic customers you can ask the management  about posting a sign  asking  people to dispose  of post-procedure  bandages  in a specially  designated  "hazardous waste" container  in the bathroom . But some people will leave them on the table regardless . It might be wise  to talk to management  about having a box of disposable gloves that can be  worn  when clearing the tables .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
A superior  sent me a rude  email this week . Her request  was reasonable  but the way  she phrased the email  was unnecessarily  rude and harsh . I'm not sure  if I should  bring it up  with other superiors  or if it would  put them  in an uncomfortable  position . What should I do ?
Offended

Dear Offended
If you can drum up the courage, speak directly  to the woman  who wrote the email . Request  a meeting . Acknowledge the tasks  that she requested . If you  have completed them state that fact . Otherwise, tell her  when you expect to be finished . Then add  that the note  was a bit disconcerting  for you because  it was so harshly delivered . State that you want  to do a good job  and fulfill her expectations  and that it will be easier  to do  if she was not so harsh .
Your superior  may not respond  favorably to your  request but I think it would be best  to go to her first  before  reporting  her to others . If you do not feel that you have been  heard or acknowledged after  talking  with her, go to Human Resources for support .
Maxy