I am interested in having an open relationship with my husband . We have been married for 10 years , and it's boring now . Some of our other friends have told me that they have an open marriage and they seem to be happy . It's almost like they are newlyweds again. I haven't suggested it to my husband yet, but I think he might consider it . The only reason why he may not is that he is pretty religious . I understand that, but I need something to change .
If we both participated in an open marriage, it might help us to like each other more . I was invited to a party where people who do this get together and I really want to go . How can I bring up the subject to him ?
On The Brink
Dear On The Brink ,
This is no small consideration . One of the covenants of marriage is fidelity as it relates to intimacy . For you to want to open your marriage to multiple partners is a huge thing to ask . To request it of a religious man raises the stakes even higher .
If your reason for considering this is truly boredom, why not try something else first ? Plan a vacation . Tell your husband that you want to rekindle the romance in your marriage . Talk to him about your concerns and tell him about your idea . But my vote regarding welcoming others into your marriage bed is no . BAD IDEA .
I work for an institution of higher learning . Since getting hired five years ago, I have taken advantage of my surroundings to earn a degree that is directly related to my job .
After three years my boss told me my degree is pretty much useless and I didn't get the promotion I had worked really hard for . It went instead to a guy with no degree who has been here less than a year . This incident, along with several others targeted at me, makes me feel like a victim of workplace bullying .
I have been too "job-scared" to reach out beyond human resources for help . I'm not sure I can get fired for doing so .
Sick and Tired
Dear Sick ,
Complaining to human resources is not going to get you fired, but I can't guarantee that your boss won't find other less obvious reasons to get rid of you . Unfortunately, unless your boss is removed from his position as your supervisor or you are transferred to another department , your situation may not improve . This may be a good time to look for another job where you can apply what you have learned .
I am a 64-year-old male with decent looks and average height , I'm a few pounds overweight . I was married before but have not had much luck when it comes to the fairer sex . What sets me apart are two very obvious facts ; One, I am disabled . When a woman looks at me, she focuses on my cane . Two, I live in a senior complex on a limited income from social security .
It doesn't mattter I can offer a woman warmth, tenderness, kindness and love . Once more, I have been used and dumped by another woman that promised the moon and then shattered my lonely heart . I have had enough . I am tired . I just wanted you to know that there is one nice guy left out here .
I am certain you are not the only one and I sympathize . It is hard to be alone when you crave intimacy . I am going to, undoubtedly, be inundated with letters from equally lonely women who want to meet you . They too are looking for warmth, tenderness, kindness and love.
However, even with your disability and your living situation, you have apparently have been able to attract women . Why they keep breaking your heart is not explained by those issues . It may be helpful to ask one of them to give you an honest critique of why she left . Listen with an open mind instead of a wounded heart, and you may learn something about yourself . It might help .