Thursday, October 03, 2013

Ask Maxy

Dear  Maxy,
I am interested in having an open relationship  with my husband . We have been married  for 10 years , and it's boring now . Some of our other friends  have told me  that they  have an open marriage  and they seem to be happy . It's almost  like they are newlyweds again. I haven't suggested  it to my husband yet, but I think he might consider it . The only reason why he may not is that he is pretty religious . I understand that, but I need something to change .
If we both participated  in an open marriage, it might help us to like each other more . I was invited to a party where people who do this get together  and I really want to go . How can I bring up the subject to him ?
On The Brink

Dear On The Brink ,
This is no small consideration . One of the covenants of marriage is  fidelity  as it relates to intimacy . For you to want to open your marriage to multiple partners  is a huge thing to ask . To request it of a religious  man raises the stakes even higher .
If your reason for considering  this is truly boredom, why not try something  else first ? Plan a vacation . Tell your husband  that you want  to rekindle  the romance  in your marriage . Talk to him  about your concerns  and tell him about your idea . But my vote  regarding welcoming  others into your marriage bed is no . BAD IDEA .

Dear Maxy,
I work for an institution of higher learning . Since getting hired five years ago, I have taken advantage of my surroundings to earn a degree  that is directly  related to my job .
After three years my boss told me my degree is pretty much useless and I didn't get the promotion I had worked  really hard for . It went instead  to a guy with no  degree  who has been here less than a year . This incident, along with several others  targeted at me, makes me feel  like a victim of workplace bullying .
I have been too "job-scared" to reach out  beyond human resources  for help . I'm not sure I can get fired for doing so .
Sick and Tired

Dear Sick ,
Complaining  to human resources  is not going to get you fired, but I can't guarantee that your boss won't find other less obvious  reasons to get rid of you . Unfortunately, unless your boss is removed  from his position as your supervisor  or you are transferred  to another  department , your situation  may not  improve . This may be  a good time to look for another job where you can apply  what you have learned .

Dear Maxy,
I am a 64-year-old male with decent looks  and average height , I'm a few pounds overweight  . I was married before  but have not had much luck  when it comes to the fairer sex . What sets me apart  are two very obvious facts ; One, I am disabled . When a woman  looks at me, she focuses on my cane . Two, I live in a senior complex  on a limited income  from social security .
It doesn't mattter I can offer  a woman warmth, tenderness, kindness  and love . Once more, I have been used and dumped by another woman that promised the moon  and then shattered  my lonely heart . I have had enough . I am tired . I just wanted you to know that there is one nice guy left out here .

Dear Lonely,
I am certain you are not the only one  and I sympathize . It is hard to be alone when you crave intimacy . I am going to, undoubtedly, be inundated  with letters from equally lonely women  who want to meet you . They too are looking for warmth, tenderness, kindness and love.
However, even with your disability and your living situation, you have apparently have been able to attract women . Why they keep breaking your heart is not explained by those issues . It may be helpful  to ask one of them to give  you an honest critique  of why  she left . Listen with an open mind  instead of a wounded heart, and you may learn something about yourself . It might help .

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