Thursday, November 26, 2015

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I work for a company that provides little opportunity for growth and innovation . It frustrates me because I have some ideas that can really help streamline my company's productivity . I am hesitant to share my ideas because upper management has shot down so many ideas from previous employees . I think my ideas will be helpful to the success of the company . Do you think I should share my ideas even if upper management says no ? 
Progress to the People 
Dear Progress to The People,
Don't let others' failures keep you from making your best effort . As you prepare  your productivity pitch to present to upper management, observe what grabs their attention. Notice what topics they seem interested in.  What do they value? What are company policies and guidelines?
As you assess these things, craft a presentation that keeps  upper management interests and concerns in mind and still gets your point across. Make sure you have concrete stats and projections to back up your thinking . And, by all means, make your presentation short and to the point. An over long speech will lose momentum and people's interest.
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I have been attempting to arrange a visit with my sister for a few weeks now . I haven't seen her in a while , and I feel as though my effort is incredibly one-sided . We've been spending less and less time together and I would just like to spend a day or weekend with her ! But whenever I ask what's good for her , she says she'll "tell me when she knows" or that she'll "get back to me ." Is she trying to avoid me ?
We haven't had a fight or disagreement of any sort . I just want to spend some time with my sister and I feel like she's dodging me . She could come visit me too, and the only reason I've been proposing to come to her is because she lives in a bigger city and she wouldn't have to travel .
What can I do to get her to care about seeing me ?
Little Sister is Trying 
Dear Little Sister is Trying ,
Even with family, you cannot convince people to be close if it's not in their makeup. Your efforts are commendable . You may want to go one extra step . Ask your sister  if there  is a reason than she seems to be avoiding  you . It's time to be direct .
Tell your sister  that you have  tried many times to connect  with her, but you feel she always blows you off . Ask her if something has happened or if you have done something to make her distance herself from you.
It may very well be that she is too busy or immersed in work or has some personal problems to work out . This would make anyone distracted and have no desire visit with family.
Perhaps she feels she can't accommodate you comfortably in her home. Give her the benefit of the doubt before you get too frustrated . And ask her if she would come visit you instead.
Tell her you love her and don't want to lose your relationship with her. Family is essential to everyone.
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My husband and I raised raise my three children with very little help from their birth father . He paid no child support and rarely visited them .
Of course , now that the children are adults , Dad is back in the picture . My children are so hungry for what they feel like what they missed that they've left me behind in the dust . I do understand this on a a primitive level , yet it hurts .
I would like people think about how much care is required to raise a family . That "father" didn't take you to the doctor , the orthodontist or any of the other necessary appointments . He didn't go to your school activities and talk to your teachers . He didn't support you as he should have emotional or financially , even when he had the money . He didn't have to instill discipline , especially when one of the reasons you acted out was because you felt abandoned by your father . Now you think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread . 
The Ones Left Behind 
Dear Left Behind ,
You have a good  grasp of your children's emotional need  for their  biological father, even though he abandoned them as children. It is necessary to anyone's development and growth as a person to know both parents and to understand where they came from. It is a right of passage that they need to get through. And as you say, they are still hungry for what they missed and for his approval.
Knowing this, you must also know that it will settle down and things will achieve a balance once more. They will always love you and appreciate what you have done for them. They are just a little blind-sided at the moment while in the honeymoon phase of their new relationship with Dad. 
With maturity comes wisdom. All you have to do is be patient. Time is on your side. Don't be bitter or make accusations or you will make biological Dad look even better. Be supportive and understanding. Kids, no matter what age, can never have too many people in their lives who love them.
Be the loving mom and dad you have always been and they will come back to you again. And biological Dad will take a not so prominent place in their lives.
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I work in a small department within a larger corporation . One of my co-workers is a rather large gentleman who has very bad body odor . I am a larger gal myself and I sweat more than others . I know this , so I bathe daily and use antiperspirant . 
This co-worker comes into my office smelling this way , so he probably doesn't shower every morning . He works with the public and I can't help but wonder what kind of an impression he leaves about our department . I am not the only one who has noticed this , but I am not comfortable enough to talk directly to this person . Should our supervisor say something ? Please help .
Suffocating in Orlando 
Dear Suffocating ,
Some body odors are hard  to control, so it's best  not to make assumptions . It's possible  that this man bathes  daily  and wears deodorant  and it still isn't enough .
He may have an undiagnosed health problem. There are several illnesses that can produce odors.
Since the public, who do business with him, and his co-workers who have to spend five days a week with him are offended by his odor, it becomes a work related matter...not a personal judgment.
Therefore your supervisor should take him aside, in private, and discuss it with him . And hopefully he will suggest a visit to the doctor for a checkup. The supervisor will be helping your co-worker as well as you.
Maxy



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Through this ever open gate
None come too early
None too late
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