Thursday, February 12, 2015

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,One of my best friends has been down in the dumps for a long time now . Ever since the new year , it seems to have gotten worse . It's not that she is without good reason . She lost her job a few years ago and was getting unemployment insurance until the time ran out . Now she is piecing together jobs here and there , but hardly making enough to keep her place and eat . I am at a loss on how to help her . I do not have any real money to give her , and I don't have room for her to live with my family and me .But she is my friend .I want to do something to lift her spirits .Need    some ideas? 
Worried Friend , Biloxi , Mississippi 
Dear Worried Friend
Your friend is feeling that another year is passing her by without any improvement in her situation. Once you've been out of work for six months, employers put you at the back of the job line. They discriminate against the long-term unemployed.
Be a mentor to your friend: be positive and encourage her. Help her reorganize and improve her resume. Do a little job search on her behalf. Make some good suggestions like:
'The most important thing she can do to boost her chances on the job market after a long spell away is to update her skills or learn new ones. Enroll in free courses offered in her area and she will feel a ripple effect of positivity. This includes increased confidence and morale. She will meet and learn alongside people in the same situation .
Attitude Change:
Be upfront:
If she's been out of work for a long time, it’s absolutely vital to explain the reasons why to employers. Employers understand employment gaps, and her explanation immediately transforms her from being a statistic into a human being with a personal story. Just keep it brief.
Be enthusiastic:
Offer what attributes and skills, such as teamwork, communication and problem solving she can bring to a company; then she should back these up with a genuine interest in the job and the company.
Contact a former employer: If she has a former employer with whom she got on well, she could get in touch and find out the latest trends from someone in the industry. There’s always the possibility that  her ex boss may know of someone who might have an employment opportunity.
Helpful websites:
Dear Maxy , 
My husband and I have been married for 19 years . We have no children together , but we each have children from previous marriages .
From Day One of our marriage, he made it clear he did not want to pay for Christmas, birthdays, weddings etc. , on my side , which was fine . I've taken care of my side, and he's done his . 
We are now at an age where we need to put our affairs in order . He wants each child to get the same amounnt from our estate , I disagree . I want the amount to be divided in half, and each half then divided between the children on each side . 
We have not been arguing about this . We just haven't taken care of the arrangements . I will agree to whatever you say .
Taking care of business 
Dear Taking Care of Business,
I think your husband made his position clear from the out-set. He distanced himself from your side of the family instead of blending families and sharing responsibilities. He created the divisive conditions of your marriage so I understand your wish to distribute your half of the estate as you see fit. 
But think of the conflict this decision may cause among your beneficiaries. Some of them may contest the will and create contention and ill will among them all. The children from both sides had nothing to do with the post-nuptial arrangements the two of you made, so it seems logical and fair to leave each child an equal amount. An estate planner would recommend the same. In fact, talking to your lawyer would be the best way to settle this.
Don't forget one of you may pre-decease the other and then the decision making control over the estate may shift. Check that out also.
Live long,

Dear Maxy.
I am a recent college graduate and now I work as an investment banker for one of the top global investments banks . I studied finance during college and figured this would be a commendable career path . However , almost eight months in , I have come to the conclusion that this is truly not for me . I had some forewarning about my career path and it's work hours , but mine is insane . I'm just not happy . I make decent money for my age , but I don't even have enough time to spend the money I make . I don't know what specific career would make me happy at the age of 23 , but I know what I'm doing right now is not it . Do you have any suggestions ?
Gotta Go 
Dear Gotta Go ,
I strongly recommend  that you stay for  a bit  longer . While  this may not  be  your career track long-term , what you could  do for your professional  reputation is to  work there for at least a year. You want to build a reputation  of being  a professional  who takes  your  job seriously .
Instead  of  giving up just yet, learn everything  you can  about your industry  and  master your  job . You never  know  when  you will need  those skills  in the future . Save as  much money as  you can . Then set out to find a career that will make you happier, perhaps related to your field.
Dear Maxy ,
I went to a business meeting at a woman's home and when I arrived, I was asked to remove my shoes . I was taken aback . I have never had anyone make that request before . I felt it was far too much to ask , even though we were at her house . I refused . She gave me a pass, but was upset . Was I wrong ?
Dear Shoe-Free,
Sorry, but you  were wrong . When you go  to someone's house, you must  abide  by that person's  rules . It is also true  that when one  has atypical rules, it is polite for the host  to advise  people  of  them  in advance .
You want  to make guests  feel  comfortable . But  the  bottom line  is  that they  should  be in line with the house rules .


  1. Howdy PIC,
    You got a comment on Quiet Love ... it's said it was put there on the 11th and for you to go to WAG , I told them I would tell you .

  2. Thank you honey,
    I left a wee note on WAG
    Luv PIC

    1. Hody Pic ,
      We will be happy to join you .
      Love PIC


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