Dear Maxy ,
My daughter and her husband are using a surrogate to have a baby . What do I do about a shower ?
It is my daughter's first child and she and her husband are in their late 40s . Should I make the shower for them as a couple ? Does she not get a shower because someone else is actually pregnant with the child ?
It doesn't matter who who is carrying the child . Any new mother is entitled to a baby shower if someone wants to host one . Of course , it is better if the shower is given by friends and not immediate family , but these days few people pay attention to those rules . Couple showers have become more popular since both Mom and Dad (presumable) are raising the child . Whether you do that or not is entirely your choice . Congratulations .
I am married to one of four siblings who dutifully took care of their aged parents until their mother died a few years ago . Daddy , in his mid-80s , met a bevy of women at his upscale care facility and proposed marriage to one of them within two weeks . She turned him down , but a mutual friend accepted and she secretly married Daddy shortly thereafter .
The woman has two children , both in professional jobs , one of whom is an attorney .At first we like the stepmother , laughed a bit and everyone got along well . But 18 months later later , Daddy died and we discovered that he had drafted a document leaving his estate to her worth almost a million dollars to her . Now the stepmother will not answer any of our calls and hangs up if we managed to get through . We certainly feel slighted , but this woman is our legal stepmother and we would , with civility , like to make our case to her to use some of that money to help with our children's tuition . How do we addressed her ?
Dear Bombed ,
Oh my . I'm certain the readers will come up with many names you can call her , none of which is printable . Your 80-something father-in-law signed over his estate to a woman he barely knew , they married in secret and it lasted a short time . This entire situation sounds fishy . You need a lawyer . Now .
Dear Maxy ,
One of my male friends has asked me on numerous occasions to hook him up with one of my female friends . I told him I don't think any of my girlfriends would like him . Nevertheless, he insists . Mind you , one of my girlfriends has already meet him at a party , and has confirmed her disinterest. What more can I say to him ?
Cannot Take No For An Answer
Dear Cannot Take No For An Answer,
Rejection is hard to accept , no matter who you are . This friend of yours probably thinks that because you are the go between , that he stands a greater chance of getting a date through you . You need to squash that .Tell him that you asked your girlfriends if they would like to go out with him and they declined . That is very specific and definitive.
Further , as a friend , talk to him about the way he approaches women . If you already have a sense of why he turns off all your friends and you think you can share that with him , do so . He may not realize that he has offensive behaviors . The greatest gift you may be able to give him is a clear sense of how he is perceived .