Chuckles

 

Two Communists met at a nudist colony. The first one turned to the other and asked, "Have you read Marx ?"
The second one replied, " Yes. I think it's the wicker furniture."

He offered  his honor.  She honored his offer.  And all night long he was honor and offer.

They sat upon the grassy bank. She was all aquiver. He undid her garter belt and her leg fell in the river.

Laugh!...Dammit!

 

 

 A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

 A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

'You should be ashamed,' the father told his son, Andy, 'When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.'
'Really?' Andy responded. 'Well, when he was your age, he was president.'

Mike was late for school.
He said to his teacher, Mr Black: "Excuse me for being late, sir. I watched a football game in my dream."
Mr. Black: Why did that make you late?"
Mike: "Because the game was tied up and went into over-time."