Ask Maxy

 

Dear Maxy,
I am 55 years old and have worked at my job fo 25 years . A couple of years ago the company hired a 26-year-old guy . I have been patient, but I am reaching the end of my rope .
"Casey" cannot remember what was said the minute he hangs up the telephone . He doesn't pay attention to what he is doing . He takes on no new responsibilities, which drives the rest of us crazy . He just does his work and then plays on the internet . It seems that he's simply along for the ride.
I have asked him to do some tasks, thinking that he'd catch on , but he's not grabbing the carrot . He makes the same mistakes over and over, and mind you, he deals with other people's money . We don't think he cares one bit about anybody but himself .
I cannot think of a way to address this without being hurtful . Casey does not take criticism well and sulks when confronted . Even the boss is afraid to speak to Casey because he'll fall apart . What can we do ?
Wish He'd Quit
Dear Wish ,
If the boss is unwilling to deal with Casey , knowing that he isn't competent, there's not much you can do . Criticism will not be helpful . Instead , please try to mentor Casey . Teach him carefully and consistantly, even though it requires constant repetition . Even 3-year olds can learn , given enough instruction and practice. It's certainly better than banging your head against the wall in frustration .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I am 16 years old and have a twin sister .We both make excellent grades and are popular with teachers and friends . But we constantly fight . I am controlling and demanding around her . She doesn't respond to me, listen to to me or respect me . I'm sure that's why I'm so controlling .
The past few months have been miserable for me . I absolutely cannot wait to go off to college and be away from my sister . I realize that I am part of the problem because I do cause some drama. But she makes me feel bad about myself, and as a result, I hate being around her. Life is her way or the highway .
She will demand that I help her with school , so I do . But if the help isn't up to her standards, she screams at me, hits me and gets me in trouble .
If I don't help her, my parents punish me . Yet if I ask to borrow a text book, she refuses .
I'm contemplating staying with my grandparents on the weekends and also thought about cutting off communication with my sister . I can't continue to deal with this . It is affecting my health . How do I resolve these issues ?
Brother
Dear Brother ,
You sister has managed to get your undivided attention at all times . I suggest you work on your response to her . Learn to ignore her sweetly . I also suggest you steer clear of her as much as possible . Study at a friend's house . Go to your grandparents' for the weekend . Explain to your parents that the house will be quieter if you and your sister spend less time in each other's company . You could also discuss this with your school counselor .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I thought my roommate and I had a pretty OK relationship until I saw that he posted something negative about me online, saying he felt sorry for whomever has to live with ne next year . I confronted him about it and it turns out it was something he didn't post. Now he's mad at me . I apologized , but how can I rectify the situation ?
On The Outs
Dear On The Outs,
Did you find out who did post the negative comments ? If the statement appeared on your roommate's social media page, it makes sense that you would think he wrote it . Talk to your roommate about what happened . Explain why you got so upset that something like that would be stated publicly . Move on to the issue at hand and ask if he has concerns about being your roommate . Even though he may not have written the comment, he may share the sentiment . Tell him how you feel about being his roommate .In other words, clear the air .
Maxy