Monday, November 19, 2012

You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...........

 I just love my cup of java, joe, ambrosia, nectar of the gods. I need it to get my blood circulating in the morning. In fact if I could transfuse it directly into my blood stream...that would definitely work for me. Lately I have been thinking perhaps I should cut back a bit. A friend sent this handy list to help me guage my coffee addiction.

  • You answer the door before people knock.
  • You ski uphill.
  • You speed walk in your sleep.
  • You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
  • You sleep with your eyes open.
  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
  • You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
  • You lick your coffeepot clean.
  • You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
  • You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't work there.
  • Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
  • You chew on other people's fingernails.
  • You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
  • You can jump-start your car without cables.
  • Cocaine is a downer.
  • All your kids are named "Joe".
  • You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
  • Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
  • You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
  • You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
  • You go to AA meetings for the free coffee.
  • You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
  • You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them
  • You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stir sticks.
  • People get dizzy watching you.
  • You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
  • Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
  • You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
  • Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
  • Instant coffee takes too long.
  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Well, I believe I need to go into caffein rehab. How about you??

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