Thursday, November 22, 2012

Dear Maxy ,
My neighborhood is very friendly . We greet one another when outside, help one another and are very cordial .
However , there is one family who isn't as kind and friendly . The overall view of that particular family is one of pure disdain . When they come outside, they do not greet anyone. In fact , one of the residents there cursed out an elderly woman on the block .
In preparation for the hurricane, everyone did their part the night before to clear the streets of leaves and debris , except them . That family lives closest to the storm drain at their end of the block . If they didn't clean their area, there was a good chance the leaves in their area would clog the drain and cause flooding on the block .
How do you deal with neighbors who are inconsiderate and rude ?
Fed up

Dear Fed Up ,
Now that the hurricane has passsed, I hope you and your neighbors were able to work with this family to clear the drains . Without question, in an emergency, even if your neighbors have had bad manners, your community needs to come together to insist that safety precautions be followed .
When you approach a contentious neighbor as a united front while remaining friendly, you stand a better chance of being heard and heeded . Beyond that, you can continue to reach out to these neighbors, letting them know that you want them to be part of the community and doing your best to win them over with your welcoming nature .

Dear Maxy ,
My aunt told me there is something going on in our extended family that will affect everyone . She says that it has to do with one particular family and that the news will come out in the next few months . She left me with a cliffhanger.
I know it's not my right to ask questions, but I'm going insane thinking of every possible situation (death , cancer , divorce , ets). How can I make peace with this situation ?
Worried Niece

Dear worried Niece,
I wonder why your aunt chose to give you such a cryptic message ? I understand that some people feel that they have premonitions base on knowledge they think they have . But this presumed knowledge is often just that ... presumed .
On the other hand, your aunt may legitimately know some news that has yet to surface . If so, it was wrong of her to tease you with such an ominous prediction . Go to your aunt and ask her what she was talking about . Tell her that you have been worried since your last conversation . Ask her if you should be concerned about a family member's health, safety or well being . If she doesn't want to share her suspicious with you, she may want to speak to one of your parents .
If your aunt will not budge, tell one of your parents and ask for their guidance .

Dear Maxy ,
I am a transgendered boy and having trouble coming out to my family . I wear sport bras and boy's clothing most of the time , and when I am speaking with my friends, I use male pronouns, but can't gather the courage to tell my family .
My mother and I once talked about it briefly, but I got nervous and ended up saying it was no big deal . Now I feel as if I missed my chance and will have to wait a long time before I get another shot at it . Being referred to and apppearing as a girl makes me uncomfortable, but I know nothing is going to change until I tell them .

Dear Nervous ,
Your mother likely suspects what is going on and is simply waiting for you to bring up the subject again . . While you're considering that please contact PFLAG (, an organization that can answer your questions and help you discuss the matter with your parents .

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