Friday, November 09, 2012
Dear Maxy ,
For anyone who is having difficulty with their student loans , please tell them to check the website www.ibrinfo.org , it lets you know your rights and explains the ways to lower payments . It also informs debtors about legislation that affects them .
Dear Been There ,
Thanks for the information , it may not be for everyone , but it's worth looking into .
Dear Maxy ,
My in-laws called and told me , not my husband , that they are coming to visit for a month at the end of the year .They did not ask . They just said this is how it's going to be . Never mind that there is five of them and four of us, and we live in a two-bedroom apartment .
How are we going to manage this ? I didn't want to say no, nor did I get a chance to say that . But a month is too long for all of us to coexist without some kind of explosion .
Dear Overwhelmed ,
Ask your husband for his input . Find out if there is a bed-and-breakfast or other affordable lodging that you can recommend to them as an option . Call them back and tell them they can visit for a shorter time .You do not have to agree with their terms simply because they asserted them . Decide with your husband what you can manage and let them know it .
Dear Maxy ,
A few years ago, I met the most amazing man. "Jim" is the love of my life . I fell in love with his family , too.
The problem is , after a year of marriage, I recieved a text from my mother-in-law (Jim's stepmother) stating that his family has never wanted me around and they don't like me . I get along fine with Jim's siblings, all of whom lives out of town, and they have assured me that they do not feel this way .
Jim works away from home for weeks at a time . When he is away I am not invited family outings the way I am when he is here . Then, I feel uncomfortable when they do include both of us . I have told Jim that I will no longer attend his family functions . But is this fair to him ? Is there anything I can do to recify the situation ?
Should I ask Jim to speak to his father ? I would hate to cut this good man out of my life .
Dear Hurting ,
What a nasty bunch you've married into . Even if Jim's stepmother is the only one who dislikes you, the others are following her directives . Your husband should make it clear to all of them that you are his family now, and they should treat you with respect and consideration , or they risk losing both of you. Meanwhile, have you invited his siblings and parents to your home? Hospitality works both ways . Do your best to ingratiate yourself and see whether it helps before you throw in the towel .