Friday, October 05, 2012

Dear Maxy,

My husband is upset with me because I haven't accepted his request on Facebook . What's the big deal ? I married the man , and we are friends in real life . I have nothing to hide from him . I just don't want to be his friend on Facebook . I don't want to have a cyber-relationship with him . I want to have a real relationship with him . I don't use Facebook that much anyway . Am I in the wrong for not accepting his request ?
Dear Wife ,
Not accepting your husband's Facebook request when you have accepted requests from other people sends a negative message to him . It says that you do not welcome him into a particular part of your life . While you may not think there is anything wrong with that , it makes sense he would . His perspective is that likely that if you welcome others , why not him ?
His perspective is valid . This doesn't mean that your husband should be involved in every aspect of your life . For example , he probably wouldn't expect to listen in while you are talking on the phone with your girfriends . He probably doesn't want to go with you to the beauty salon . But Facebook is a different matter . It is a public forum where people go to connect with one another .
If you have nothing to hide , prove it by exccepting your husband's Facebook request . Tell him you treasure the one-on-one interaction that you and he share and that you don't want to have a cyber-relationship . He can enter your Facebook space , but make it clear to him that you don't intend to develop a relationship with him there .

Dear Maxy , I have a unique style . I wear my hair kind of funky , and it's partly dyed pink . I also wear crazy colors on nail polish . It shows my fun side , I think .
Usually it's no big deal , but recently I have had a problem . I have been interviewing for a part-time job that can help tide me over while I'm finishing school . I'm beginng to think that my style is getting in my way . When I have gone to a few interviews , the people have been corfial but totally oninterested .
I love my style , but I also need a job . How can I have both ?
Unemployed Cutie

Dear Unemployed Cutie ,
Whether or not it should , the way you choose to look makes a difference . The good news is that there are all kinds of jobs out there .
Chances are you can find a place to work that will embrace your style , such as in the art world , in certain hospitality areas and in telephone marketing .

Dear Maxy ,
My boyfriend of seven months recently ended things suddenly . "Ethan" is Mormon , and I'm Lutheran . We were planning a future together . Ethan claims he wants to go on a mission and cannot prepare to do God's work while having a girlfriend . He said we could still be friends .
But here's the thing . He started hanging out with "Susan" the same month he broke up with me . He told me she was a new "friend" and also Moron . He denied there was anything between them . I am having trouble moving on because I don't feel Ethan is telling me the truth . He's already ripped out my heart . The least he can do is be honest .
Right now , he barely acts like an acquaintance , let alone a friend . What should I do ?

Dear Confused ,
While Ethan is undoubtedly being honest about his upcoming missionary trip , I think he is being less so about the breakup . At least part of that has to do with your religious differences and his new interest in Susan . This is surely what you already suspect . I wish Ethan had the courage to come clean , but don't count on it . Accept that your relationship has run its course . Regardless of his next move , yours should be to put him behind you .

No comments:

Post a Comment

Through this ever open gate
None come too early
None too late
Thanks for dropping in ... the PICs