Dear Maxy ,

I have been married for six months and am crazy for my hubby . He has back problems and some sexual issues that keep us from being intimate . At least , those are the excuses he uses for the fact that we don't touch like we used to .

I recently came across some love notes to an ex-girlfriend saying how they are going to be happy growing old together and how much he loves her . I pay his child support and love his kids like my own . He says he love me , but I have doubts that he is being honest . He is constantly texting and emailing and never puts his phone down . He acts like he's afraid I will look at it .

I've been hurt before by lies and don't want to go through it again . What do I do ?

Scared and Lonely

Dear Scared ,

Were these recent love letters or old ones that you happened to find ? If they are old try to ignore them . He married you , not his ex-girlfriend .

If they are recent , however , it could be serious , especially when combined with constant and secertive texting , calling and emailing .

Married partners owe it to each other to be open and honest . Talk to your husband . If his answers don't reassure you , the next step is counseling .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

I recieved a last-minute phone call on New Years Eve from a female friend , saying she wanted to be my date to celebrate the new year . I was slow to answer her request because she just broke up with her boyfriend of three years .

I finally answered her by saying I was invited to a friend's house for a private New Year's party . I felt kind of bad , because I could easily have asked my friend if I could bring a date for the evening , but I didn't . Do you think I was wrong for saying no ?

Happy

Dear Happy ,

In a word , no . It would be one thing if your friend's call had not come at the last minute . The fact that she reached out to you so late for such a major occasion means that she knew there was a good chance you wouldn't be able to do it . She took a chance in asking you .It's good you responded to her , even if only to say that it wouldn't work out .

If you would like to support her during this tender time after her breakup, reach out to her now and invite her for coffee or something similar . But there is no need to rehash New Year's Eve . That is in the past .

Maxy

Dear Maxy ,

How do you deal with an absentee father ? I cannot believe this man forgot his son's third birthday . There was no phone call, no text and no email from this man . I was fortunate enough to have my family around and we had a good time .

My son's father finally called me to say he forgot the birthday . This is the second year in a row that he was not around . How do I express my displeasure .

Mama Drama

Dear Mama Drama ,

Especially since your son's father is not in your son's life everyday , it's important for you to support and nuture their relationship .

You can call and let him know that you were terribly disappointed that he forgot .But don't beat him up about it . Instead, tell him that you will help him remember next year . In this way , he won't feel if you're constantly testing him . Also do your best to make him feel included . Tell him what you will be doing for the birthday and invite him to participate . This should help him choose to pay closer attention .

Maxy