Thursday, September 10, 2015

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
It has been a dream of mine to continue my college education in London . When I spoke to my mentors about my plans , they told me that it would not be a good idea because the America job market will not hold an international degree in the same regard as an American college degree . I respect my mentor , but I really think I should go to London and make my dream come true . Besides , I cannot let my friends down ... this is all I have been talking about since I were 10 years old . What are your thoughts ? Should I make my dream come true , or should I continue my college education in American with a focus on international studies ? 
A Dream Deferred
Dear Dream Deferred ,
Now is the time to listen to your heart and do your research . You should not think about whether you will be letting down your friends . People can change their minds if they choose . It is your life , not theirs . As far as your mentors , do some research to learn what they mean . If you are pursuing a degree in international studies at a British school  that is acclaimed for this major , chances are that you will be well placed in a job if you have a solid academic . Figure out what the top schools are  and determine if you can afford to go , either because you can pay the tuition or you can secure scholarships or loans . Once you  are prepared to make a decision , you will know what the best choice is for you .

Dear Maxy ,
I was invited to attend a small wedding in a few weeks for one of my college friends . I invited a woman to be my date for the ceremony . However , we are not currently communicating with each other due to a disagreement . Do you think it is wrong for me to inform her that I made new arrangements for the wedding ? I don't mean to be rude , but we are no longer dating and she doesn't even know the couple .
Wedding Crusher 
Dear Wedding Crusher,
You absolutely need to hold fast to a wedding invitation with this woman . You do need to let her know that you are no longer expecting her to go with you . You may also want to clear the air regarding your disagreement . Even if you have no intention of getting together with her ever again , it is  kind and respectful to close the loop . In the best of worlds , you should contact her and start by addressing whatever the conflict was . Follow up with the point that you are no longer expecting her to join you .

Dear Maxy ,
I've been in a relationship for five years with a guy who has been very enjoyable company , however , in the past 18 months , rumors have surfaced about him being bisexual . He never told me about this part of his past . Finally , I confronted him and he admitted that this was just a whim at a time in his life when he was alone . He's been divorced for 23 years and claims he never knew why his wife divorced him . 
He now feels that , since he is with me and the desires are no longer there , I should just forget about my disgusted feelings and go on as if nothing was ever said . His friends was the ones who kept dropping these hints to me , but , of course I ignored them until now .
I don't know if I should continued this relationship . He is 85 and I am 79 . We don't have sex since he has erectile dysfunction and his desire has diminished .
Worrying Winnie 
Dear Winner ,
What is that you want from this relationship ? Whatever is in this man's past does not need to affect your future . Someone who is bisexual is attracted to both men and woman .
If this were a sexual relational , I might understand your concerns . But you aren't having sex with him . and have no plans to do so . You don't have to marry him to enjoy him . You find him to be very enjoyable company . I don't see a problem . If you want to continue spending time with him , go right ahead .

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