Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I've been on antidepressant and bipolar medication for 12 years . The problem is, I feel I am being over medicated . I want to sleep all day . I am also legally deaf . I live with my parents because I am unable to drive . My depression and resulting destructive spiral caused my grades to go south in college which has interfered with my ability to find a good job in my field and not all employers are willing to make accommodations for hearing disability .
My parents does not treat me particularly well . The medication helped a lot , but being on the meds for so long has cause other problems , including issues with my short-term memory . I am tired of taking medications that I feel is hindering more than helping , I saw a counselor for a while some years ago , and that did me more good than medication could . My family refuses to listen to me when I tell them the new medications are causing excessive drowsiness . I have been told by them to simply suck it up . My family won't let me stop taking the medications .
I would like to find a job so I can earn enough money to go back to college , but I have no idea where to start . My only job experience is some community service I did as part of my high school graduation requirements .
Fed UP
Dear Fed Up ,
First phone or make an appointment to see the doctor who prescribed your current medication and explain the drowsiness . It is likely you can have it adjusted . Also you could use some emotional . Please contact the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance at dbsalliance.org . Then check your state , city and county government offices for jobs for the disabled , along with the U.S. Dept. of Labor doleta.gov and serovicelocatr.org at 1-877-US2-JOBS .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My husband is a chain smoker and has very poor dental hygiene and has lost most of his teeth He has never been an affectionate person , but when he does decide to kiss me , I am repulsed by his cigarette breath and the fact that he hasn't brushed his teeth . Therefore I try to avoid being near him .
My question to you is : should I nicely tell him he needs to see a dentist ?
---V
Dear V ,
Yes , dear . Otherwise , you will be stuck with this situation for the rest of your married life and over time , it will put a terrible and unnecessary strain on your relational .
Tell him that his breath could use some assistance . Make him understand that not brushing his teeth puts him at risk for heart disease . I suspect he harbors a fear of dentists , so assure him that current dental techniques take that into consideration , and there are varies ways to alleviate discomfort . Ask him to come with you to find a good dentist he is comfortable with . Also but him some breath freshener that he can gargle with .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I have been dating a guy for about four months now . He is very sweet to me . I like his personality a lot . I work in an office as an office manager , he works construction . I think that's great , except he doesn't always need to shower and change at the end of the day . So if he asks me out on a date , even if he has time to come home and , shower and change , he often does not . I don't want to sound like a snob , but I really don't want to go to a nice restaurant or even to the movies and snuggles up next to someone that smells like dust and sweat .
Clean Up
Dear Clean Up ,
I bet your guy has been single for a long time . One of the most common "side affects" of a loving relationship is some good TLC. Chances are , he hasn't put two and two together at all . He is so eager to see you , getting to you is at the top of his mind . Bathing is not even n the radar . Definitely tell him , but in a nice way . When you are planning for your next date , ask him what he's going to wear . Encourage him by suggesting that he shower and wear whatever cologne you like that he wears s, or you could name a specific shirt and tie that you have loved him wearing in the past . Make it a sensuous experience . That should encourage him to clean up .
 Maxy