What Do You Want From Me Anyway ?

What do you want from me anyway?
What divorced men and women look for in potential partners--and how they get confused

What do men and women expect from relationships? The truth is that men and women expect the same things. Trouble is, they have inaccurate perceptions of what the opposite sex expects.
Barbara Given, Ph.D., of George Mason University studied 46 men and 65 women in a support group for the newly separated and divorced. Their average age was 43.

The men and women agreed on eight basic expectations from a relationship and from a partner, and on the order of their importance. But when it came to what men think women expect and what women think men expect, things got all mixed up.

Affection-- Both men and women were more interested in cognitive and emotional signs than physical/sexual ones. But women have an exaggerated view of men's expectations for sex. "If women act on these assumptions," says Given, "men may view them as aggressive, or shallow."

Communication-- Though both rate it highly, men and women underestimate expectations of the opposite sex for openness and sincerity in communication.

Honesty-- Both men and women placed more emphasis on honesty from themselves than from their partners.

Compatibility-- Women tend not to recognize the importance of female friends to men.

Unconditional acceptance-- Men are less aware of women's need for clear signs of emotional support and acceptance.

Attractiveness-. Men incorrectly think all women want a hunk and women wrongly think all men want slenderness in them. Both do want good grooming and good manners in a partner.

Enthusiasm-- Both sexes expect to have fun with a partner who displays a good sense of humor and, especially, enthusiasm for the relationship.

Intelligence-- Both men and women expect to have stimulating and challenging interactions, but neither thinks the other wants an intelligent partner.

Expectations influence how we interpret a partner's behavior. We see what we expect to see.
A lot of what goes wrong in relationships is simple failure to convey basic needs and expectations. We tend to camouflage our desires and hide our needs.We're too afraid to reveal so much of ourselves and leave ourselves vulnerable. We often expect our partner to comprehend this and to interpret our needs correctly. How can they?

All the expectations are in the order of their importance. I wonder how the expectations of people who have never been married compare to these.