Dumb Blonde Jokes - Apologies to All My Blonde Friends (Most of them are really brunettes anyway.)

Library
A blonde walks into the library, goes up to the desk and says to the librarian,"Can I have a burger and fries please?"
The librarian says,"This is a library, Miss."
"Oh! I'm so sorry,"exclaims the blonde.
She leans in close to the librarian and whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

Cheerio's
A blonde wakes up in the morning to a huge rumble in her tummy. She walks down stairs into the pantry. She has a choice of Trix, Lucky Charms, Raisin Bran, or Cheerio's. So she takes out the Cheerio's and pours out a bowl of them and says " OH Wow! doughnut seeds!"

Blonde with a headache
This blonde goes to the doctor complaining of headaches. Noticing she hasn't taken off her headphones at all during the exam, he suggests they may be the cause of her headaches. He tells her to take them off. "Oh, no. I just couldn't," she says, "without them, I'd surely die." "Oh, come now," the doctor says, "let me help you." And he pulls them off her head. Sure enough, moments later, she is dead on the floor. Curious, he picks up the headphones and hears, "Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out..."

Telephone Company
Two telephone company crews were putting up telephone poles. At the end of the day, the company foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had put in the ground. "Fifteen" was the answer. "Not bad, not bad at all," the foreman said. Turning to the blonde crew he asked how many they had put in. "Four" was the answer. "Four?" the foreman yelled. "The others did fifteen, and you only did four?" "Yes," replied the leader of the blonde group, "But go look at how much they left sticking out of the ground."

Golf Balls
A man boarded a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to, of all people a beautiful blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

Wrecked Car
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened. The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I Looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another tree, and another and another ..." The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don’t know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."

Eye Doctor
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his naked patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

Three Blondes
Three blondes are stuck on a desert island and one finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish. The first blonde says, "I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island." Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island. The second sees what happens and says "I wish I was 25% smarter so that I can get off this island!" She then turns into a brunette, makes a raft from trees and sails off. Finally, the third blonde says "I wish I was 50% smarter so I can get off this island." She then suddenly turns into a man and walks across the bridge.

Blonde and thermos
A blonde goes to work and sees that one of her co-workers has a thermos. She asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, ''It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold'' The blonde was amazed and when she got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day she goes to work and is proud that she has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes she has a thermos and says, ''What do you have in it?'' she says, ''Soup, and ice cream!'