Worst Christmas Gift List....EEESH!

The Shower Power Bathtub Handle For Shower Sex

"Ladies and gents,"the gifts on this list are genuine items which can be purchased on certain shopping sites and have really, actually been given as gifts. I rank them among the worst Christmas gifts in the world. But they speak for themselves.

1) "A Stuffed Rattlesnake:" What are you telling your friend or loved one when you gift them with this? Perhaps you're making a statement about their decor. ("Your taste is early trailer trash")

2) "A Farting Gnome:" Just who are you going to give this to?...your boss?...your grandmother?(for her garden)...Uncle Ed, who has that wee flatulence problem?

3)"Scented Toilet Paper:" A gift like this is inappropriate and in execrable taste. Therefore, some men would think it was a nice practical gift for a lady of their acquaintance.

4)"Sausage Making Machine:" I could actually name a couple of guys who would think this was a great gift for someone who likes to cook.

5)" Nose Hair Clipper:" I realize there is a necessity for these gadgets but as a gift, I think it says,"Either you have two shrubs growing out of your nose, or your hamsters are trying to nest in your sinuses."

6)"Six Pack of KY Jelly:" It would have to be a joke gift at a bachelor party, right? If you are giving it to your newly wed friends for Christmas, you ain't gonna be invited back.

7)"A Framed Photo of Yourself and/or Your Family:" Not even your family wants this for a gift. It says you really love yourself and you assume everyone else does too. And it also says you're cheap.

8) " Pubic Hair Dye:" Buying someone Pubic Hair Dye lets them know that you noticed they have grey pubic hair. Awkward .

9)" The Bettie, a body slimming undergarment:" Giving The Bettie says that you have no confidence that this person will diet or exercise to lose weight. And that they really need to lose weight.

10) " Pin-X...pinworm medication:" Pinworms are little parasites that tend to infect the digestive tract of small children. Informing a relative that you know about their little guests on Christmas is not a great way to spread yuletide joy. Don't be surprised if you get pinworms.

11)" The Shower Power Bathtub Handle for Shower Sex:" If your Aunt Edna broke her wrist due to unknown circumstances, you should not assume that this product will prevent future injury.

12)" Subtle Butt... fart filters:" These filters keep your gas from bothering others. 'Subtle Butt' is not the first product or only product to perform this function, but there is something mysterious about the name "Subtle Butt'"and it falls trippingly from the tongue. Oh well, even if you are as fascinated as we are, you still shouldn't buy these as a Christmas gift. (What is it anyway? A charcoal filter you wear in your underwear or a chunk of charcoal you....?)

13)" A Stainless Steel Shower Bidet:" Personal hygiene products should never be given as gifts and the Stainless Steel Shower Bidet is the perfect storm of personal hygiene products. It suggests a lack of cleanliness, it is meant for your nether regions, and it is made from corrosion resistant materials. Does someone think that your lack of hygiene is so extreme it can only be overcome by corrosion-resistant metals?

14)" Pretty Feet and Hands:" Giving this brand of hand and foot lotion says‚ "Sheesh! I think you have ugly feet and hands."

15) "A Coffee Enema kit:" I know they are very popular with a certain segment of the population and are supposed to be good for you, but pleeeese.....Coffee is a nice gift, so buy a can from Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts and put a bow on it. It's perfectly acceptable.....Enema, NOT!

16)"A Mucus Clearing Device:" My personal favorite most hated gift. The mental picture of Gramps up in the bathroom trying out his new mucus clearing contraption would definitely spoil Christmas dinner for me.

What could I possibly add except a used toilet brush and a dead hamster. Hmmmm...perhaps Mussolini's brain, which was honestly, recently for sale on Ebay.

Christmas is about giving, sharing and loving. Let's stick to the old traditions.