SMART ASS ANSWER #5
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?'
the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her
hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said,
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
the grocery store but she couldn't find one
big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
The police officer got out of his car as the
kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for
you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied,
Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing,
he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #1
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and
noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him
and his truck gets wedged under it.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car
comes up.. The cop gets out of his car and
walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and I ran out of gas.'
The babies roller-blading is just to cute.
ReplyDeleteI am going to remember some of those smart ass answers, I know they will come in handy, I really like the one about the stub and the lady laughs at the weiner.
Hi
ReplyDeleteseen you been busy. How's it going?
Hi CC IT's goin a little sideways today.Tried to do too many things.
ReplyDeleteWhen you do too many things, you don't do any of them well.
ReplyDeleteYou should just curl up to the "rock and start over tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteGood idea right?
Anyway it's time to relax and shake off the half done things.There is always tomorrow.How did your appointment go.
ReplyDeleteI loved the baby video.I love watching babies do anything.That old maternal thing never dies away.
ReplyDeleteAppointment went well and the stress test was great.
ReplyDeleteWe got a lot of snow and more coming tonight.We had to crank up the big snowblower.The little one couldn't handle the volume of snow and blew up.
ReplyDeleteI am going to go back to my old routine, my ass is out of shape.
ReplyDeleteNot the snowblower Brian got for his BD huh?
ReplyDeleteI'm happy all is well with you.Your family couldn't manage without you.
ReplyDeleteBrian's secret calls were to a jeweller.They left a message for him.
Jeremy will have to help me with the Mac.I don't have the correct cable to transfer all my memory from my old computer.The Mac is so different it will take me some time to learn it all.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lotta snow, They say we might get some snow here, but it don't stay long, the last we got was New Year's day in 2001 and lasted about a couple of days.
ReplyDeleteFor now I'm sticking to my old PC.
ReplyDeleteI need a hot cup of tea.How's your weather down there??Rainy and cold??
No the new snowblower is powerful and self propelled.It works fine and Brian doesn't have to push it.
ReplyDeleteI bet Brian is going to ask you to marry him, not that's what you call love. You go girl.
ReplyDeleteJeremy will get it working right for you and you will become a geek, but a beautiful little geek.
You didn't rell Brian you know, did you?
That's great , Brian won't get so tired and will have more time to poke you,hahaha
ReplyDeleteSometime I think my family would like for me to keep my mouth shut sometime.
The weather is dry and cold right night, but more rain is on the way, and expecting snow furries.
ReplyDeleteI would love to repeat our vows.Especially now that we have some hard months to face ahead of us.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you like to have another ceremony.I think it would be wonderful for you too.Who would give you away?
[giggles] Jeannie , my family says I have no tact, what comes up come out, but they are a lovable bunch.
ReplyDeleteIf you kept your mouth shut you wouldn't be CC.I think they wouldn't change a hair on your head.
ReplyDeleteYes,I would like to have another, we have bee talking about it , maybe when we started going together on our 10th 10th anniversary, and Jon would give me away and Chris would be Gil's best man.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Gilly could be his daddy's best man with his bells and all.
ReplyDeleteI liked that little gif where the lady laughs at the flasher.It had nothing to do with the smart ass answers but I had to use it somewhere.
ReplyDeleteGuess what I will be doing next 2 weeks? Working.
ReplyDeleteI think that's what I would do to a flasher.Laugh my head off.
ReplyDeleteI love the lady laughing , if I ever get flashed , that's what I'm going to do, laugh my ass off.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you know we are thinking the same things again...It's got to be true, things are looking up for the both of us and our families.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and her friend were walking home from school and looked down in the ditch bbeside the road and saw a man laying there mastubating.He had seen them coming.
ReplyDeleteThey said they were shocked and wlked away quickly.
I made them call the police.
They told the police that they barely glanced at the guy but when he asked for a description they said he was about thirty with dark hair , glasses, a red coat, a red checkered shirt , blue jeans and had white running shoes.Oh, and he had very hairy legsI think they took a very long hard look,don't you??
Are you working in the casino??
ReplyDeleteI spelled masturbating wrong.I do that when I type too fast.I skip letters.I spelled it mastubating.That sounds like something you do in a tub.
ReplyDeleteEmily told me she's going to look on our food gadget and see if she can find a dressing recipe with rice instead of cornbread.
ReplyDeleteyes the girls took a long good look, reminds me of nan and myself.
ReplyDeleteYes , I will start traing the dealers, it's just 2/3 hours a day.
Some of the old dealers are still there and glad to have me back for awhile.They have a nursery ther, so Mamie can keep my little man.
ReplyDeleteI bet you'll love getting back to work for a while.You must miss it a bit.It's sounds like a kind of exciting job.
ReplyDeleteI miss it a lot. it should ne a lot of fun..It's so hard to find someone to past the drugs and background checks, I work in Gils office sometime answering the phone and setting appointment when someone is sick or out on vacation.
ReplyDeleteYou may get a taste for it and not want to give it up.
ReplyDeleteDoes Gil mind you going back to work??
ReplyDeleteWhat about Nan ?Does she miss it??
I don't ever think I will go back full time..
ReplyDeleteI enjoy playing house to much.
I bet you like being the receptionist for Gil.You can sneak into his office.Take your notebook so it seems professional,and cop a little feel.
ReplyDeleteIf Brian is making a business call.Sometimes I sneak up behind him and grab.They must wonder why his voice changes.
Gil is o.k. with it, he know I get bored, but I don't think he would want me to go back full time..
ReplyDeleteNan loves it and ready to go back, I think we both like meeting people from different places and the noise, it's really different from visiting and working there.
You really have to be a people's person to work in the casinos and no how to give good customer service, which we don't get anymore.
ReplyDeleteWell I hope you have lots of fun.You must be good at your job if they asked you back.
ReplyDeleteIt is a lot of fun to do the unexpected, I love catching the dangle and it rears it's head and stand at attention. hahaha
ReplyDeleteYes, if I do say so , I am damn good, I count cards and read people. But most of all I give good customer service and remember the guests name and that makes them feel important.
ReplyDeleteWhat did Brian do after he hung up the phone? Did you let him have a little feel?
ReplyDeleteYou're right about good customer service.It's hard to find anywhere these days.
ReplyDeleteWe was talking once about looking at it when we was about to get poked, and Susan said , how could we look at it, I told anything that go in me < I was going to see what it looked like, shit , the thing might have teeth, HA!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to tell you too much.Use your imagination
ReplyDeleteI tell them the better the service, the bigger the tips. people love to hear their names.
ReplyDeleteOh yes I know and I bet it was out of this world.You are so bad.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what they would say if they knew we talked about them like this.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Examine every pecker that comes near you.Keep a magnifying glass in your purse.
ReplyDeleteI could have fun with that idea.
More to the point - I wonder what they say about us.
ReplyDeletethey probably shake their heads a lot and roll their eyes.
ReplyDeleteNan indicated that the pair of you drove her mother crazy.I can imagine she worried a lot when you two went out on dates.Especially if she knew you were examining dangles.
ReplyDeleteWell one thing he can say I keep his long ass happy. I was reading some of his letters last week and it seems like yesterday when he corner me in the elevatorand stopped it between floors.
ReplyDeleteI bet she was and stayed up until we got home, we did a lot of teasing , my ex was the first.
ReplyDeleteI was 17 and my ex was 25.
ReplyDeleteI bet you were excited and just a bit scared when he stopped that elevator.After all he could have been a serial killer.I know ,I watch CSI.
ReplyDeleteGood thing he decided to kiss you instead.(or did he fuck you?)(must have been a quickie)
I never went with anyone while I was married to my ex and thats the reason it hurt so much. Sis says I was just in love with love and when the real thing come along I would know it.
ReplyDeleteThere was some between the two. I had never had a man after me like this one.But like I told him, I wasn't going to fuck him to keep my job.
I bet Gil liked your openess and honesty.Nothing coy about you.
ReplyDeleteWhat you see is what you get.I think he found that refreshing and sexy.
No fucking that time, He found out where my daddy lived and they invited him and hid dad to a hoe-down in the barn, when I got there he was talking to Chris and I walked up and let my hand slide down the front of his pants and asked him if he wanted to poke me.
ReplyDeleteChris asked me why do I think he's there , to talk to daddy.
It speaks volumes about the women he dated before.You were very different.
ReplyDeleteAnd he couldn't keep his hands off you.
I guess I better let Maxy out.I hope I don't lose him in the snow.He's very short in the legs and sometimes when he stands and pees he sinks down into the snow.
ReplyDeleteLast year he couldn't get out of the hole.It was a good thing I spotted him when I went out to look...Have fun going going back to work...have a good night ....PIC
All his women friends was around his age and most wanted to marry.I think he figured he could mold me like he did the others. I don't take a backseat to no man.It's 50/50 or nothing.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I learned from you and Sis.
Watch Maxy closely.
ReplyDeleteGoodnite and have sweet dreams.
GOODNIRE....PIC
P.S. snuggle real close to the "ROCK" nite