1)Tricky arithmetic:Do it in your head,no calculator.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.Now add another 1000.Now add 30.Add another 1000.Now add 20.Now add another 1000.Now add 10.What is the total?
Did you get 5000?Not too bright are you?The answer is actually 4100.Don't believe me?Check it with your calculator.
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2)A mute goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.By imitating the action of brushing his teeth,he succesfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is made.
Next,a blind man comes into the shop,who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses.How does he indicate what he wants?
He just asks.He's not mute.
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3)Mary's father has five daughters:1-Nana,2-Nene,3-Nini,4-Nono.What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Did you say Nunu?
Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary.Read the question again.
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Well are you senile??????
You have lost me after the first paragraph. I not only hate mathematics but constantly draw a plank when confronted with written math problems .
ReplyDeleteOh couse I am ...a little crazy also...who wouldn't be around all there fools...(GIGGLES) Jeannie you find really funny stuff...How is Brian?
ReplyDeleteBrian is being sent for a battery of tests,Blood in urine.
ReplyDeleteWhat about you? what tests?
The world is going to hell in a hand basket and I'm sitting here watching Laurence Fishburne(who I don't care for)
ReplyDeleteDid you see my Donald Duck?
Give it a chance. CSI is a greatly written and acted show, I think they still can pull in great numbers - even if Petersen is gone.
ReplyDeleteI miss Billy.
ReplyDeleteyes I seen donald,he looks like someone I know.
ReplyDeleteI miss Billy too.I don't watch Miami much any more..same old shit,seen one you seen them all
ReplyDeleteJust for my knee when I fell in school playinf basketball...nothing serious
ReplyDeleteJeannie, maybe you could make a short note about your source. (Very small at the end of your entry) If you find a joke, a picture, an article etc. or on a newspaper or on another blog. Thus, our readers know where to find it. Or if they want to look for themselves...Just a suggestion.
ReplyDeleteIs Brian diabetic? I hope not,,I am border-line...but controll it good with diet.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the things I put up like the senility one are sent to me by friends with no history attached.
ReplyDeleteMy friends send me a lot of old geezer jokes.Trying to tell me something??
ReplyDeleteYou have good friends they know you like to laugh and be happy
ReplyDeleteHE's not diabetic.He's had blood in urine for about four days.
ReplyDeleteMy worst nightmare.
Forty years ago,my dad had blood in his urine.Turned out he had cancer of the right kidney and bladder. Didn't know you were borderline.Have to watch your diet
Have you got a sweet tooth Nee??
ReplyDeleteNo, Jeannie. It was just a suggestion. It is some kind of Internet-etiquette to say this or that joke/line/article is by XY, YY or Z.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people like me like to look things up and then it is nice to know where to find it. Besides, if WE link others OTHERS link us. It is a double advantage.
I have a low immune system and so have a lot of food allergies among other things.I dream about strawberry cheesecake and butterscotch sundaes and chocolate.Can't have any of them
ReplyDeleteOh yes I love my chocolatemgot to have it...it runs in my family...Getting my stuff together,when I finish,I will have more time to devote to the blog.hahaha
ReplyDeleteI understand Vix.In future ,if I know the source,Ill try to remember to record it.Sometimes I don't know the source.
ReplyDeleteWe sure miss you,when you're gone.Last night I told Vix all our family secrets.You missed some hot stories.
ReplyDeleteI know you were talking to Jeannie,Thanks anyway,I know I haven't been paying my dues.I will be able to do more,
ReplyDeleteRight...very hot secrets. Especially about Jeannies late grandparents. What colorful history!
ReplyDeleteNo I caught up on them today,That ome reason I wanted a blog were to visit,
ReplyDeleteI left you a note that I know you have royal blood
ReplyDeleteThere's lots more where that came from.My mom is really opening up about our past.I wonder,do old people want to make sure people don't forget their family history?
ReplyDeleteThere were a lot of horny old buggers in my familt apparently.
I always go back to see what is going on ...sometjme I get up late,I don't miss much,and really read between the lines.
ReplyDeleteWell you know there are a lot of horny ones here,no they don't want us to forget our history.
ReplyDeleteVix...did you forget Jeannie's dad had a smile on his face until he passed away.
ReplyDeleteLouisiana breeds a lot of horny people.They would fit in quite well up here.Unfortunately they would perish like the butterflies in winter.
ReplyDeleteJeannie ..Maybe there are some pills/meds the doctors can give Brian to flush his kidneys,I will say a prayer/light a candle for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYou know I would,with my thin blood,it has always been a known fact that the royal family talks dirty.hahaha
ReplyDeleteJeannie...it is the Lousiana heat that makes them so horney. There ain't much those rednecks can do in the blistering summer heat, except f....
ReplyDeleteThats the charm of the Deep South.
Cupcake - We were talking about Jeannies travelling gramps.
Oh,I do know where that picture came from Vix,I'll go back and put youtube on it.It's from one of my favourite videos.But the senility test,no idea.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering Nee,since Brian takes blood thinners,if he burst a blood vessel in the bladder or penis.It's happened in other places on his body.
If that's all it is,no worries.But I appreciate the prayer and votive.Any help is good help.
ReplyDeleteYou are right that a good kidney cleanse can be very theraputic.The naturopath at a good health store can give us the right herbs.Have to find out if it's safe first.
ReplyDeleteVix ...rednecks is in Texas...hillbillies are in Mississippi,Here in Louisiana we are call honkys..(giggles)
ReplyDeleteVix ..I know what you were talking about.she looks like her gramps...sorry ..I only asked did you remember what she said about her dad when her mom had something worked on...It seems like I get your panties in a bunch lately
I think your theory about the heat is correct Vix.Probably very emotional people too.Tempers probably flair quickly too.
ReplyDeleteYes blood-thinners will do it also,they are keeping a close eye on him,my aunt take thinners also,she has blood sometime.
ReplyDeleteYour aunt has heart problems?
ReplyDeleteAh yes, I remember..Jeannies dad died a happy man despite his horrible illness. Not many do.
ReplyDeleteShe had open-heart a value by-pass,she go to the doctors once a moth for blood thinners shots,she's 79
ReplyDeleteBut he couldn't be more different from Billy.I had a soft spot for Grissom like all the other middle aged biddies in the country.
ReplyDeleteI lost a post.
ReplyDeleteI said Vix that Laurence is a pretty good actor after all. He may grow on me.
He kelp a smile on his face for a special reason...(why did you call us recknecks) thats not nice...I would never use a word like that when I call some one my friend..But I really understand it all very clearly now,I did not take it as a joke,next I guess you will be calling me a tart.
ReplyDeleteBrian takes the pills every day.Mom takes all the same drugs he does.You should see the bags of pharmaeuticals I have to bring home.
ReplyDeleteVix didn't mean it as an insult.
ReplyDeleteYou two butt heads all the time.
Oh my, I really didn't mean it as an insult. Many people say rednecks. I figured it is commonly used. My bad.
ReplyDeleteWhy should I call you a tart? Are you connected with David Caruso?
Vix you are full of it tonite..You know Dad and Dave's dad is related..but as usual you don't pay attention to what i say,unless it is negative about Dave.
ReplyDeleteNo, a mixture between Arabic and Pakistani. Albeit an ugly specimen of both races.
ReplyDeleteI will say goodnite...Jean`ne
ReplyDeleteI said Vix that Laurence is a pretty good actor after all. He may grow on me.
ReplyDeleteYup, we should. It will be on in 1,5 hours here.
Girl what are you talking about..what races...
ReplyDeleteAre you sure?Conflicting reports from a few places.I'll research it.
ReplyDeleteDon't know why I'm interested,just like to know the truth.
Jakey's going to bring me a shell from Myrtle Beach and Sam is going to bring me a piece of grass from the Whitehouse lawn.They'll probably stop him from damaging the lawn.They are getting up at four tomorrow morning.Gonna be cranky kids.
Jeannie posted something about tart Amina heritage. Of her being half Arabic and half something else.
ReplyDeleteObviously the post vanished...
Gonna be cranky kids
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily. When we flew to Kenya we had to get up at 04.00 am. My daughter was sitting upright in her bed when I woke her up. She was all excited to go on vacation.
I bet that was a great trip.Did you go on safari?
ReplyDeleteI think it was pakistani/muslinand something else,in the paper that "SEB" took,not sure.But she is not a good looking woman.
ReplyDeleteDid you see her real close Nee?
ReplyDeleteYUP. We went to the east part of Kenya - Mombasa. She was four then and almost freaked out when a group of monkeys climbed on the tour-bus. In the ldoge where we stayed overnight she ate white bread and water because she didn't like the food we got served there.
ReplyDeleteAnd the best part - when the pilot landed the 747 on Mombasa International Airport at 05.00 am there where NO LIGHTS on the airfield and birds where nesting near the tower - surreal.
ReplyDeleteYes we were very close,she is skinny as a rail..bad skin,I said a few words and walked off,Dave eyes was bucked out looking at Julia....we walked on a few steps.
ReplyDeleteYes, her skin has not a good color. Most Arabs I know are light and have nice skin.
ReplyDeleteWhat a turd that guy is .in front of his girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI've got the perfect gift for a lady who does not trust her husband. Ill put it on the blog
That sounds like the trip of a lifetime Vix.How the hell could they land the plane?
ReplyDeleteVix..I don't blame your daughter for not eating the food,kids are very smart,when you don't know what to eat ...warch your kid...let them lead...you fair much better.
ReplyDeleteObviously pilots who fly to Africa are trained to land in the dark. They know how bad those airports are. However, customs is realy easy . They just take a peek at your passport then you can go. No computers or security scans.
ReplyDeleteI am sure it will be something funny...Jeannie.
It's a lot of abars here also,they do have light skin,most are very attractive ladies...Maybe it was to much sun,she was really dark,nothing like the ones I know here.
ReplyDeleteCUPCAKE... we had different meats, frenchy fries, rice, pasta - soup. No, it had to be bread and water. An Indian family next to us made big eyes when they saw our girl gnawing on two rolls while we dug into the buffet.
ReplyDeleteOn SEB pictures her skin appears also very dark. I think, the Pakistani/Indian side of her comes more through than the Arabic.
ReplyDeleteYes i have some hilarious material.I don't know where I got It .Had it for a while.I promise i'll try to be more organized in future Vix.Sadly,people like me don't have good organizational skills.
ReplyDeleteNee is right,kids always know what to eat.They seem to know what they need.
I think when Nee said bad skin she probably meant blemished.Junkfood diet or poor hygiene?
ReplyDeleteShe's very dark though.
I walked her through the buffet and the only thing she did was shaking her head. Until we reached the bread-station. There she took three poppyseed-rolls and went back to the table.
ReplyDeleteI never knew that antilope meat tasted that good.
I bet they wondered what was wrong with you all, not feeding your child,the main thing was she was happy with what she had,and the devil with the rest...you know maybe we should take a chance with our kids to run this country,their your minds is not so confused.
ReplyDeleteLike venison?
ReplyDelete"SEB" do good photos, al least he made her look a lot nicer than the others.
ReplyDeleteYou may be right Nee I'm a mass of confusion.I'm ashamed i'm handing such a fucked up world to nice people like my grandkids.
ReplyDeletePoor Mr Obama.Everyone wants him to straighten it all out.
Yeah. The three children of the Indian couple next to us were all overweight and where eating as if there was no tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI took her to the doctor and he said the same as Cupcake. She doesn't need more. She was always very healthy - only very picky with her food.
Yes, SEB was great. Too bad he moved back to France.
ReplyDeleteSeb was a fantastic pap. High quality work.His equipment was worth a fortune,I'll bet
ReplyDeleteI am sure he does some pap work back in France. With European celebs.
ReplyDeleteI love venison..
ReplyDeleteHer skin had a lot of blemishs..maybe poor diet/junkfood,thats not an excuse,every woman should take care of skin...she's with the man that has the money,go to walmart,use a cumcuber/lemon/olive oil...
I'll pop over to your house and see what you're up to Vix.
ReplyDeleteGoodnight Nee,See you tomorrow old girl.
I forgot to tell you.Justin has been staying with our son Steve and working at his dealership.Steve told me yesterday thaat he couldn't believe a human being could eat that much.His food bills shot sky high.
He always thought I exaggerated.
Well, I think Caruso could pay her a special beauty-treatment in one of the spas for her problem-skin if she cared too. However, I doubt the tart is the spa-type.
ReplyDeleteCanadian boys obviously need a lot of food. Proteins keep them warm..LOL
i kind of miss seeing Justin's ass sticking out of my fridge.He'll be back here in a few weeks no doubt.
ReplyDeleteNot to worry about your baby,mine is going to be tall/ and willowy.
ReplyDeleteWell if they think "OBAMA" can fix this shit by snapping his fingers,they better think again..He did't carry Tex/LA/Miss/but he won,here hoping he can live up to his promises,not fall by the way side like so many before him,mind you we have had some good ones,time will tell.
They eat the hair off your head - but you miss them dearly when they are gone.
ReplyDeleteI wished mine would have gone to the fridge ONE to stuff herself. The only thing she ever looked for was a chocolate bar.
I wait and see. First let all the praise from the Inauguration die down and let the man get to work. Now he can show that "he can". And Hillary Clinton is also back in business again.
Hillary is my girl...not because she is woman...she know how to work it ...if she didn't buckle under Bill's shit...well you know the rest. nite
ReplyDeleteShe is tough as nails. Maybe a bit too tough... NITE!
ReplyDelete