How are you spending your self isolation ??

 

 

I find that my mind meanders in weird and wacky directions, lately. I was sitting in my window today watching my neighbour, Lou, mow his lawn. It was warm and he was braving the slight breeze, shirtless. I was trying to count the moles on his back, which are fairly large, when it occurred to me that they could be buttons: the 'mow the lawn' button, the 'wash the car' button, the 'clean the bathrooms' button. Lou's wife has created a perfect husband robot. No … wait a minute, they're little eyes. Lou has eyes all over his back and they are, presently, all focused on my house. They have spotted me in my window.

 

I always suspected Lou was an alien. No one smiles all the time.  And it's a very insincere smile, like it was cut from a magazine and pasted on his face. And no one, human, is so neighbourly and helpful. I'll wager he was sent here from a hostile planet to assess how quickly Covid 19 is decimating the human race. Covid was, obviously, a creation of the the aliens, introduced to earth to annihilate all life and enable them to take possession of our planet and drain it of its' resources. Their own planet, of course, is a barren wasteland with a completely polluted atmosphere. 

 I've noticed that Lou, frequently, sticks his finger in his ear and wiggles it. He's probably adjusting the receiver, implanted there, so he can hear his orders from the mother ship over the noise of the lawn mower.

 

What about that wife of his? She takes two walks at precisely the same times every day . She is always well dressed and groomed and walks briskly. She takes a dog with her as a cover. I believe she goes to a designated spot to beam up to the ship and present her observations to her superior officers.

 

I feel it is my duty to my fellow humans to stop this conspiracy, somehow. How can I send a message to the alien leader that we are not to be trifled with? Wait a minute.... Lou likes to barbecue almost daily. They eat an awful lot of meat; strange looking meat, that just might be …. No! Surely they're not cannibalistic!

I could plant some sort of explosive device in the barbecue that would detonate when Lou turned the gas on …. Wait a minute....

 

Oh shit! There's the phone.

"Hello Sweetheart."

" Oh, we're just fine; just hanging around the house."

" How are the twins? ….."