Dear Maxy,

Throughout my life, whenever I've been in a mixed group of men and women , the men frequently talk over the women or interrupt them before they are finished . Now that we are over 60 , the problem is worse , as many of our male friends are hard of hearing . Do you have any suggestions about how to get a word in edgewise ?

Ella

DearElla ,

I hate to say it , but some men are simplly dismissive of women's conversation.
If you are close friends , you should mention it asking them to be more considerate and reminding them when they forget . Otherwise , there's not much you can do other than talk over them, ignore them or direct your conversation to a more amenable listener .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am a recent widower after being married for 57 years . I have met a wonderful warm , affectionate widow whom I have fallen in love with . However , she thinks I am just lonely for a stand-in for my wife . I cannot seem to convince her that we have entered a new chapter in our lives , and that memories should not stand in the way of our future happiness . Any thoughts ?
Sal

Dear Sal ,
You may be rushing it a bit . If you are a "recent widower," your female friend may be right that you are lonely and confusing love with companionship . Stop trying to convince her . Instead , please allow this relationship to develop more slowly , and let her see for herself how genuine it is .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am the boss of a small company that employs five people . Since it is such a small business , each person's role is vital to make the company run efficiently . While one would think that this environment would motivate my staff to work hard , I think that our close relationships have caused them to become lazy .
I was walking through the office , and I noticed that a majority of the employees were on Facebook , Twitter or online shopping sites . A lot of the tasks I have assigned are handed in late or not up to the standard I expect .
This not how I expect my employees to spend their time , but I don't know how to tell them this .
I am afraid that they are taking advantage of me , and they think they can get away with anything . How do I tell them this is not the case ?
Cool Boss

Dear Cool Boss ,
You have to re-establish your authority in yourcompany and motivate your staff to work hard . Call a staff meeting and talk about the state of your business . Do your best to paint a picture of good news , whatever is working in the company . If you can highlight projects that staff members have completed successfully , do so .
If possible , select something about each person so that they all shine .Then , point out that you have noticed something about their behavior, that they are accessing social media and shopping online when they should be doing their jobs .
Productivity is essential for a healthy workplace . Let them know that you need them to focus on their responibilities while they are at work .
If necessary , bring in a tech person who can block acess to social media sites . Before taking that measure , ask for their compliance , and keep watching closely how they respond .
Maxy