I would like to thank all the kind folks who cared enough about me to send me all the educational emails and articles over the past few years.
Thanks to you,I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last guest was doing while surfing through the channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what took place on it since it was last washed.
I can't have lemon slices in my drinks because lemon peels have been found to contain nasty micro-organisms,including faeces.
I don't shake hands with anyone who has been driving because the number one pastime of people driving alone is picking your nose.
Thanks go out to the guy who told me about the poop in the glue on envelopes.
I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer causing deodorants,even on a hot day,and I stink.
Because you're so concerned about me I no longer drink COCA COLA because it can remove toilet stains.
I can't buy gas unless I have somone watch the car,in case a serial killer crawls in the back seat while I'm filling the tank.
I don't use glad wrap in the microwave.It causes cancer.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a spritz of sample perfume then mug me.
I would never pick up money dropped in a parking lot because it was placed there by a rapist hiding under the car,waiting to grab my leg and pull me down.
Thankyou for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face and disfigure me for life.
My eternal gratitude to you for telling me about the gallons of trans fats I've been ingesting for years,which now sit in my arteries like a ticking time bomb.
I now live with enough stress and anxiety to cause a massive heart attack and send me to an early grave.So I ask you,"WHAT'S THE POINT????? "
