You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...........

 I just love my cup of java, joe, ambrosia, nectar of the gods. I need it to get my blood circulating in the morning. In fact if I could transfuse it directly into my blood stream...that would definitely work for me. Lately I have been thinking perhaps I should cut back a bit. A friend sent this handy list to help me guage my coffee addiction.

YOU KNOW YOU"RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN:

• You answer the door before people knock.
• You ski uphill.
• You speed walk in your sleep.
• You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
• You sleep with your eyes open.
• You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
• You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
• You lick your coffeepot clean.
• You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
• You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't work there.
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
• You chew on other people's fingernails.
• You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
• You can jump-start your car without cables.
• Cocaine is a downer.
• All your kids are named "Joe".
• You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
• Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
• You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
• You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
• You go to AA meetings for the free coffee.
• You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
• You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them
• You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stir sticks.
• People get dizzy watching you.
• You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
• Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
• You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
• Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
• Instant coffee takes too long.
• You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
• Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

Well, I believe I need to go into caffein rehab. How about you??