Dear Maxy,
I work in an office with five other women . Our customers are primarily men . The problem is , all the other assistants dress provocatively , flirt and laugh loudly at our customers' lewd jokes . I am not like that , but every time I greet a customer with a smile , the girls say , "You must be in a good mood today," giving the impression that I'm otherwise a real witch .
Co-workers within earshot snort and laugh . This really rankles me , because I am always in a good mood . I just don't fawn over the guys like the other women do .
This is happening more and more , and I am tired of it .
Is there something I can say that will shut them up for good ?
Just about had it
Dear Had it ,
The co-workers tease you because they are guaranteed a flustered reaction . The best way to put a stop to it would be to laugh off these comments . That would not only defuse your anger , but also minimize their enjoyment .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
One of my best friends is gay , but our other friend still uses the word "gay" to describe the things she think is stupid . She says our friend doesn't mind , but I think he does ... he would just never admit it . Should I act on my instinct and tell her she needs to stop , or should I just let it go ?
Keeping It PC
Dear Keeping It PC,
By all means speak up . Words are powerful , and how we use them is important . Being insensitive to the use of a word like "gay" is actually what is stupid. Talk to your friend about her choice of words and make it clear that you find her speech offensive . This is true regardless of whether she is in the company of your friend or not. By the way , it's important to acknowledge that wherever you are and no matter the company , using language like that is unwise because it continues a narrative of insensitivity that is unkind .
Your gay friend may or may not mind . But that isn 't the point . What's key here is for your friend to recognize that words have the ability to empower or hurt . Choosing empowerment is the way to go .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
I made a silly and potentially costly mistake . I received an email from a friend suggesting that I look into a way to earn money from home . The link looked like a site from a television station , with articles and testimonials from a variety of people who said they earned money in this way . I found it intriguing . I did try to reach my friend to see if he had tried it , But I didn't hear back from him . (Later , he said his email was hacked .)
I got lured into the promise of earning extra money and signed up for it . Of course it required a small fee , which I paid . And then nothing > i didn't ever get to the place where I would earn money .
Now I;m worried that my credit card may be compromised . What can I do ?
Hoodwinked
Dear Hoodwinked ,
Usually , If something seems too good to be true , it is . Contact your credit card company and tell them that you believe the charge was fraudulent . Explain what happened and ask if they can stop payment and / or place an alert that the company you paid practices fraud . Credit card companies have departments set up to help customers with such things , so there's a good chance you will be reimbursed .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
My parents recently met my boyfriend . They liked him well enough but thought he was too quiet . They mistook his quietness as lack of personality , even though I tried to explain that he is shy and nervous about making a good impression .
How can I get them to see what I see in him ?
Misunderstood
Dear Misunderstood,
Time is the friend you need to embrace right now . Your parents may have misinterpreted your boyfriend's quietness primarily because they don't have enough information to figure out what they think about him . But what they want most is for you to be safe and happy .
Tell your parents that your boyfriend is shy , and describe what you like about him in detail . Ask them to give him a chance and allow time for him to share more of himself with them .
Schedule activities so your boyfriend can get to know your parents and vice versa . After a while , your boyfriend will relax , especially if your parents decide they want to get to know him .
Maxy