Friday, December 14, 2012
Dear Maxy ,
I am a 60-year-old divorced female and have been seeing "Harrison" for three years . Despite the fact that harrison is a wonderful man ... honest , funny , handsome , loyal and hardworking ... there is one thing I can't get past ; he is terribly under-endowed , if you get my drift . I'm embarrassed to even think of complaining about this , but it affects the whole lovemaking thing . I've always had a strong sex drive , and the lack of ,um , size is unsatisfying .
How do I get past this ? I truly care about Harrison and hate to think that I'm so shallow that his size would matter so much . It's as petty as a man saying his girlfriend is great , but she's flat-chested , so she's out . But it's bothering me enough to write .
Little Thing in the Way
Dear Little Thing ,
We won't get in the "size doesn't Matter" discussion , because it obviously matters to you . First try Kegel exercises (talk to your gynecologist for information). It is also possible to find greater satisfaction through different positions and techniques and the use of sex toys . But only you can determine how immportant this is to your relationship . If you truly love Harrison , this is something manageable . Otherwise , it's simply a source of frustration .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I could really use help from you and your readers . I need to know if any of your readers have had a spouse cheat on them . Did they stay together or did they file for divorce ? What was the effect on their children ?
My husband had a lengthy affair with a woman who was 10 years his senior . We spent 14 months in counselling to try and work things out . I think I have an understanding of why the affair happened in the first place . But I cannot get past all of the hurt , the lies , the mistrust and the failure to honor our marital vows .
I recently moved out of his house so I could get a better grip on getting over the affair . This really hurts and I need some advice .
Heartbroken
Dear Heartbroken ,
It seems as if you did the right things , from getting counselling to moving out after you felt you weren't healing .
Some couples are able to weather an affair and reclaim their love on the other side . To do so , both have to want the relationship and be willing to talk out any issues that come up as they finally forgive each other for everything that led up to break in the marriage vows . Is this an easy process ? No .
Because you have children , it's essential that you remain respectful of each other and connected to your children, regardless of what happens between the two of you . Resist the temptation to speak poorly about each other , no matter what happens .
You should continue to get counselling support for your personal healing .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
Every year , I get presents for my long-lost relatives and they send me broken , used stuff or nothing at all and no thank you .
Are you graded on what you give , or what you get . That's what I'm "REALLY" worried about ! Still , this year I'm feeling like I'm boiling over about it . They're very well off and I just have this cottage industry trandcribing legal documents . It feels like they don't even want to be related to me . Do I get them stuff anyway ?
Feeling Dissed
Dear feeling Dissed ,
You are correct that you should not give to recieve . At the same time , if you get no joy from giving to these people, stop giving to them . Clearly they don't value gifts in the same way you do .
Instead of sending them something that you have bought, consider sending a lovely holiday card with a personalized message . This connects you in a loving and meaningful way .
Maxy
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