The world is filled with liars: philandering husbands, big-time embezzlers, bogus health gurus. But even the most saintly people tell an occasional lie.
Take it from psychologist Bella DePaulo, who has authored a dozen studies on deception. In one exercise, conducted in 1996, DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 participants, aged 18 to 71, to record a week's worth of social interactions and all of the lies they told. On average, each person lied just over 10 times, and only seven participants claimed to have been completely honest.
Not all lies are created equal, of course. Saying someone's last book was an engrossing read when it put you to sleep is different than saying you generated steady investment returns when in fact you blew every last penny. Such "false positive" lies are delivered 10 to 20 times more often than spurious denials of culpability, according to DePaulo's research.
Other studies show that men and women lie with equal frequency - though women are more likely to lie to make other people feel good, while men tend to lie to make themselves look better. We’re more honest with the people we love. “We lie less frequently to our significant others because we're more invested in those relationships," says Jeffrey Hancock, associate professor of communication at Cornell University.
The best liars can slip past even the most sensitive detectors. Traditional polygraph tests, around since the early 1900s, use sensors to pick up fluctuations in blood pressure, pulse, respiration and sweat in response to probing questions. Two problems with polygraphs: First, they only work about 80% of the time, according to the American Polygraph Association. Second, we're unlikely to carry all that hardware to a business meeting or a bar. "There are no perfectly reliable cues to deception," admits DePaulo.
Still, even skillful dissemblers give away plenty of clues. Joe Navarro, a veteran FBI special agent and the author of Louder Than Words, says that for every question we ask someone, we have three opportunities to determine whether that person is lying: when he first hears the question, when he processes it and when he delivers an answer. Here's what to look for.
Tricky Tilt. Truthful people more likely to face questioners head on. Liars are "likely to lack frontal alignment and will often sit with both their arms and legs crossed as if frozen," says Joseph Buckley, president of John E. Reid and Associates, which provides interview and interrogation training to law enforcement agents.
Imprecise Pronouns. To psychologically distance themselves from the lie, deceptive people often pepper their tales with second- and third-person pronouns like "you," "we," and "they."
Heavy Hands. When people tell the truth, they often make hand gestures that coincide with the rhythm of their speech. Hands emphasize points or phrases - a natural and compelling technique when they actually believe the points they're making. People who are less certain will keep gesticulations in check.
Tongues Like Telephone Wires. The phone tends to bring out the liar in people. In one week-long study of 30 college students, Hancock observed that the phone was the most popular weapon of choice, enabling 37% of the lies told in this time, versus 27% during face-to-face exchanges, 21% using Web-based messaging, and just 14% via e-mail. Little surprise, perhaps: Most phone conversations don't leave a trail, unlike email and instant messages.
Need to Be Right. When honest people tell stories, they may realize they left out some details and backtrack to fill in holes. They also may realize a previous statement wasn't quite right, and go back and explain it further. Liars, says DePaulo, "are worried that someone might catch them in a lie and are reluctant to admit to such ordinary imperfections."
Behavioral Blip. "You're always looking for change from the person's usual baseline," says Paul Ekman, professor emeritus at University of California San Francisco School of Medicine, and manager of Paul Ekman Group, which does training in the area of deception and emotional skills. "Some people always hesitate when they speak. If they speak without hesitation, that's a hot spot."
Detached Smile. People who are telling the truth tend to use many facial muscles. Liars just smile with their mouths - their eyes don't reflect their emotions.
Will we ever come clean? Guilty stomach knots aside, the subjects in DePaulo's 1996 study confessed that they would tell 75% of the lies again if given the opportunity.
Chances are, they'd get away with it.
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